“Judas”

Thank fuck for testosterone. Every time I have to refill my prescription I’m terrified something will go wrong and I won’t be able to get it. But luckily just a slight hiccup this time. Testosterone is secured

God gives his smallest of dicks to his hottest of men

The Art of Disassociation by Eli Clare

drift

lose time gain time ride the time machine

            twirl

tear up the diagnoses let them rain down like pride parade confetti

             fly

use them for all they’re worth in meds or therapy or sheer survival

            evaporate

claim ourselves escape artists

efficient and beautiful

Listen to Eli Clare read this poem

top 3 places to bleed out:

1. the snow

2. your lover/best friend/homoerotic comrade’s arms

3. bathroom floor

Now consider: a man in a dress. Not in drag or all dressed up or anything. No accessories, no makeup or styling, just wearing the dress, some ratty boxers and muddy sneakers. No socks or stockings, hairy legs in the open air, just raw dogging those nasty shoes. Hair mildly damp. Visibly sleep-deprived. Bruises on shoulders, elbows and knees, left palm bleeding. Sitting on a curb on the street, shivering, looking wretched, and absolutely miserable.

I forgot where I was going with this.

i love you weight gain i love you acne i love you tdick i love you voice cracks i love you bad hairline i love you horniness i love you aggression i love you stopped periods i love you shitty facial hair

thinking about painting more breasts

Backyard #2

Oil paint with palette knife

9x12 inch canvas board

Today's children don't know what it was like when half of your photographs would turn out with demonically glowing red eyes.

oh to be a boxy, wrestler kind of dude. oh to hang out with friends and be called "one of the boys". oh to be sweaty and a little too loud. oh to drink some root beer. oh to wear a too-tight t-shirt. oh to be a sweetheart with a calloused surface.