I Just Think It’s Silly That My Parents Were A Little Sucky And Now I’m A 19 Year Old With A Personality

Maybe in another life I can be gentle. Maybe there my soul is kind.

notes app ramblings

my therapist has no idea how bad she fucked up LMFAO. like- you think he thinks about me??? really??? no no no dez idc if he feels bad about what he did, he still thinks about me??? 🥺🥺🥺

strawberry smoke, watching hockey, reading good books, ice skating, the best dessert i’ve ever had in my entire life- life is so wonderful with him <3

turning back into that 14 year old girl who is terrified of the dark was not on my 2024 bingo card lmfao, like wtf i as a grown adult cannot walk from room to room freely in my house anymore without racing on my crutches to find the light switch.

analog horror is absolutely no match for my own brain because why are the hallucinations and delusions back???

i know it sounds stupid but praying in the quiet hours of the morning will always be one of my favorite things.

(god i never thought i would say that lol, but here we are,, life is weird but my gods are good and that is all that matters)

god i just feel so fucking empty. i wish i could just like actually be able to make friends so i don’t have to be alone all the time?? but making friends as an adult is stupidly hard.

tbh i should just go back to being a fanfic writer, i had so many online friends back then it was crazy lol

i say this shit and literally a day later am doing not very well at all. god i hate the constant shifts and mood swings

it’s 5am and i’m listening to the birds chirping, i hear my breath, and the soft indie music that always is coming from my phone. i note that there is pink in the sunrise this morning and that i do not dread the day ahead of me like i have for my entire life.

the work is noticeable sometimes, proper therapy and medication pays off.

3.22.23 - quantified damage.

[in no way do i condone ANY stigma that pwNPD are inherently abusers. us cluster b’s gotta stick together. this is simply a post documenting my literature and growth into the recovery process from my own personal childhood traumas. THIS BLOG WILL ALWAYS BE A SAFE SPACE FOR THOSE WITH NPD! ONE ABUSER IN A COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE DOES NOT MAKE THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY BAD PEOPLE!]