A Woman: So I Recently Developed Ovarian Cancer & I Could Sure Use Someone To Talk To About It

Update!!!

I did have my crashout and I cried in the bathroom at work!!

I know there are a lot of complaints about the “Not Like other girls” era of books aimed at women, some I disagree with, some I don’t. But I’m rereading one of those types of books right now (technically re-listening bc I’m using an audiobook but same idea) which I absolutely adored the first time I read, and honestly I kind of miss that time period.

Like sure it was reductionist at times, but at least the women were unabashedly themselves and pushed back against gender stereotypes. This book is set in a fantasy past based off of Medieval Germany (from what I can tell) and with that obviously comes the sexism of the period, and she had actually realistic feelings on the matter. She thinks about how she wishes she’s a boy because she wants to have a career, specifically a farrier or a hunter, and criticizes the fact that she’s living in a society in which her value is through marriage. She’s practical minded, she looks up to her father and male relatives because she wants the freedom they have, but also feels a sense of displacement and disgust from them because of their sexism, and in general just has so much more energy as a character than I often see in more mainstream books now. And she’s STILL a woman and eventually finds her power as a woman.

Idk this is just a personal pet peeve of mine but I don’t like our current idea of rejecting surface level femininity = rejecting womanhood, either positively or negatively. On the one side you get shamed for it because you’re a pick me, on the other side you get told you’re just a man. And it’s made characters really really bland.

(Also maybe I just am the problem, idk, but I have had the experience of feeling left out and not like my female peers growing up because they were content to uphold patriarchal ideals and I wasn’t. I still put up a good effort when it came to talking about crushes and doing all the fun sorts of “girly” things they liked, but I had trouble finding anyone who reciprocated that energy towards me when I wanted to talk about my interests that didn’t necessarily fall into that category. So imo there is a kernel of truth in the “not like other girls” stereotype, not because other girls are INHERENTLY bad, but because of how our current societal pressures work on young girls.)

I grew up Catholic so I have a bit more context (which unfortunately doesn’t make it much better).

Mary Magdalene was commonly assumed to have been a prostitute (which isn’t biblically supported and actually wasn’t commonly believed until a while after Christianity was formed). Even after her conversion she’s shown as nude because it was common belief that she lived nude as penance and only used her long hair as clothing. She’s actually quite often shown in various forms of nudity and seductive positioning in her artistic depictions because she’s basically the scapegoat due to her position as “prostitute” or later “penitent”.

The mind naturally wants to think about sex after you go through puberty and your libido picks up, but in Catholicism you quite literally are not allowed to think about it at all because that counts as “adultery of the mind”. The only time this rule doesn’t count is if you’re condemning someone for sexual sins. This is why you see Catholics (and more conservative Christian groups who have this same rule) absolutely obsessed with constantly thinking and talking about and condemning other people for having sex they don’t like. Their mind craves some type of release for the curiosity they have so they become incredibly fixated on it in a negative fashion because it’s the way to get around that rule. This also leads them to have incredibly toxic sexual relationships after they enter marriage and are finally able to have sex because men have associated sexual arousal with a level of disgust or distaste for the woman.

(In addition, women accidentally get around this rule because we are taught to be constantly afraid of sexual assault sullying our virginity, so the mind often focuses upon that fear, eventually associating sexual arousal with the idea of being violated, which is why you see so many of them encouraging or flaunting violating relationships online.)

Going back to depictions of Mary Magdalene, since she was a prostitute she was the men of the time’s way of getting around that rule. It doesn’t count as them being lustful if they’re also condemning her actions even as it arouses them. It’s why she was one of the most common subjects of religious painting outside of the usual patriarchal figures and Mary the mother of Jesus. The really ironic thing is that there is absolutely no proof of her being a prostitute. She was actually quite rich and supported Jesus monetarily, but people liked to assume she got the money through dishonest means instead of through any type of skill or labor, or frankly even just coming from a wealthy family.

Anyway sorry for the rant lol Mary Magdalene was my birth patron saint, and I’m still very attached to her and upset by how much she’s been slandered by the church even though I haven’t been Catholic for years now. Hopefully it was interesting.

Mary Magdalene in the Cave by Jules Joseph Lefebvre (1876)

i hope whoever came up with the trend of calling attractive women "mommy" is in the depts of hell right now

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

people who hate on vi except when shes living her whole life slaving away for jinx and jinx’s well-being and being 100% selfless constantly is. interesting.

interesting bc i’m the oldest sister in my family and that’s exactly what my parents expect of me.

how odd and silly that some people continue to parentify older sisters and refuse to care about them as characters when they aren’t constantly putting their sibling first.

that’s how i feel whenever i see a post about how vi’s character was completely sacrificed and then the explanation is all abt how she chose caitlyn and not jinx for the nth time.

Better late than never to figure this stuff out I guess 🤷

Radical feminism, centering women, and worshipping female deities really turned my life around FAST because what do you mean my constant mental health problems are slowly alleviating, I’m making new female friends, I’ve finally left behind the toxic male friends, I’ve applied to and gotten my first management position, I’m gaining weight and muscle, and I’m talking to a lovely beautiful femme all within this year so far. Like I know radical feminism covers very serious issues too and politically life kind of sucks, but life really is beautiful as well when you center women and female-ness among the chaos. I love rad feminism and I love lesbianism.

"Rape me daddy 🤤😫" No dude you don't want ACTUAL rape, you want some sick ass fantasy that you've consented beforehand

If you want to be actual raped then you're genuinely sick and need to go to therapy

Rape literally makes girls kill themselves out of shame, rape gives girls PTSD, rape makes girls feel "unpure" even tho it wasn't their fault, rape + abortion ban makes women carry their rapist babies, rape ruins women's life's. You do not want that

“All the gays want is to groom my children! They are dangerous to kids! They hate children!”

- A lesbian saw your son struggling, and remembered what it was like to be young and autistic and overwhelmed by her emotions, so she sat down with him every day and helped him until his feelings wasn’t so scary anymore.

- A lesbian was the one who your daughter finally trusted enough to reveal the abuse she was going through by her father when she was at his house and she tried her best to get her help and always be a safe space for her.

- A lesbian overheard your daughter being told by her classmates that she couldn’t play dolls because the dolls weren’t of her race, so she went and bought a dozen barbies of all different races to show her that she belonged.

- A lesbian was the one who you knew you could count on to retrieve your babies when you let people pass them around at church. You knew that she’d keep an eye on them even if she didn’t know you personally. Everyone in that tiny church knew her for it.

- A lesbian defended your son from being harassed on the bus (by other mothers!) and was late to work making sure he was safely on his next bus heading to the food bank.

- A lesbian was your waiter today and she made your baby laugh while she was setting your table and she already knew how to keep all the dangerous items out of reach without you even having to ask.

All anecdotes I could pull off of the top of my head from my own life. I love children, while I don’t want any of my own (and can’t even have ‘em due to infertility anyway) and my connection with them is very odd as a butch lesbian woman. People tell me that my purpose in life as a woman is to have children, and people from the same demographic claim that I only exist to hurt their children. The reality is that, whether you like it or not, gay people exist in the real world and often take on beloved and pivotal roles in your life and your children’s lives that you don’t even realize. We’re here and we always have been, and we’re surprisingly just as normal and human as you are.

i wish to be the sapphic version of wolfstar with someone