I Wish To Be The Sapphic Version Of Wolfstar With Someone

Or, “We wouldn’t rape you/have sex with you anyway because you’re too ugly so shut up.”

Which is such a classic male response.

tims will literally write graphic rape fantasies about women and how they want to “correct” lesbians but will throw a tantrum when you tell them that males shouldn’t be in women’s spaces

I’m not really understanding what u mean by this? I’m not running my blog to trauma dump my life’s sorrow but I’ve definitely had more than my fair share of horrible experiences including CSA, grooming, conversion therapy, escaping a religious cult, even more SA, and an abusive relationship that included knives being pulled, off the top of my head. I’m just not out here to talk about them in gory detail.

“This should be considered a problem for men” like my bad experiences were caused by men, or I myself am a problem for men somehow? The former is true and I do talk about that but again, I’m not here to go into crazy detail or spend undue attention on past abuse, especially in this post which was supposed to be more positive.

Radical feminism, centering women, and worshipping female deities really turned my life around FAST because what do you mean my constant mental health problems are slowly alleviating, I’m making new female friends, I’ve finally left behind the toxic male friends, I’ve applied to and gotten my first management position, I’m gaining weight and muscle, and I’m talking to a lovely beautiful femme all within this year so far. Like I know radical feminism covers very serious issues too and politically life kind of sucks, but life really is beautiful as well when you center women and female-ness among the chaos. I love rad feminism and I love lesbianism.

what’s so ironic to me is how much prostitution enthusiasts stress "listening to sex workers"—but the moment those very "sex workers" they claim to love so much disagree with them, suddenly they’re not worth listening to anymore.

"listen to sex workers" I'm listening! are you?

I want to write but I have only vague ideas about lesbian stories and I’ve been burnt out about writing for years now and I have dyslexia and I have no idea how to get my ideas onto paper when they look so beautiful in my head 😭😭😭😭 send help

This one has always confused me and I’ve had people try to argue with me about it in actual conversations and it’s always like, yeah? I’d rather work 35-40 hours a week for a paycheck that I can then divide up how I see fit, than be constantly on the clock and on an allowance. When my boss kisses me without my consent I can file a case for workplace harassment but I can’t do that with my husband, especially if he’s holding the money above my head. I don’t have to give birth to my boss’ kids. If he’s annoying I can just clock out and go to my peaceful home but I can’t do that with a husband.

Also I’m gay but the point still stands lol

“feminists would rather be wage slaves than care for their husband and children” so instead of being a wage slave i get to be a maid for a wage slave. wow thats awesome

4, 15, 32

4) I wouldn’t really say I am insecure anymore. I used to be super insecure about everything for years but eventually I realized that I was wasting my time and that life is about experiencing the world, and not about how people experience me. There’s a few things I’d like to change (like becoming more muscular) but I don’t see my lack of my desired musculature as a source of insecurity like I might have before.

15) I do have pets! 2 Guinea pigs, and they’re lesbians for each other lol

32) I don’t really have a singular favorite color but I’m currently really into red and blue, specifically the tones I have my blog themed to. Also loves good moss green. Basically colors you can find in nature, I have a hatred for neons and unnatural colors.

@halfalive-chaos - Context

Oh BOY do I have some big giant feelings about this!

The short answer is yes, I think people/The Audience has forgotten this - but I also don't think it's entirely their fault.

Part of the reason I was really impressed by how Arcane used and executed the scene, and why I keep going on about it, is that this whole subject is kind of an ongoing concern of mine.

I very sincerely think that the documented decline of, not just sex, but horniness, in media has narrowed the spectrum of contexts we're used to seeing sex and sexuality happen in our storytelling, in ways that are doing us harm.

Because mainstream media has started shying away from engaging with sex to the degree that it has, sex is now almost invariably depicted in extremes - either "Aren't we edgy big boys now?" stuff like The Boys, or miserably sad traumatic drama grist - or else not at all.

And because "regular" tv has been scared off showing sex, it's vanishingly rare to see characters who are in love have sex, or to be sexual as an expression of that, certainly without some negative element to it.

That means we're almost never asked to think of it in terms of sincere, meaningful character communication, or as a storytelling mechanism, or ever presented with it in the context of a positive wider relationship.

I think the hazard of this is obvious - if our media and storytelling doesn't engage with healthy sex in that wider context, or use it purposefully, then we're conceding the whole conversation around it to porn, to novelty edgelordism, and grimdark miseryfests. Those things will define all our language and imagery around it, and the only time we'll ever see it will be upsetting, harmful or ugly. When it is easier to stumble across a scene of rape than it is to see a consenting woman orgasm, it's little wonder people can become reflexively suspicious of any sexuality at all.

But even when it's not so extreme as that, more often than not it's depicted as a casual fling instead, divorced from a bigger picture, or a distraction, an alternative to a grander and truer romantic interest. There's nothing at all wrong with sex for pleasure, don't misunderstand me, but it's odd that our media landscape has engineered a situation where depictions of sex in the context of a bigger love story almost never happen. It would seem then that we can have one or the other - sex or romance - but never at once.

And we're diminishing it with all of this. We're saying this incredibly important, intense, uniquely vulnerable and intimate feature of the human experience doesn't matter enough to talk about. We're saying that sex and love don't have any functional overlap. Even at best, we're pretending that sex isn't important in relationships, or increasingly, that the only good sex is... well... sexless. Sterile. Permissable and virtuous only when it's so "clean" and so perfect in circumstance that it becomes an unattainably impossible kind of ceremony.

The venue must be perfect. The characters must be not only unimpeachable, but historically and permanently so, and exactly as faultless as each other - they must be exactly the same social status, age, background, emotional state and situation. There can be no power imbalance or even a risked perception of one. No chequered history to leave behind, no overcome adversities, nothing that had to be learned. No transgressions to have been worked through, and comprehensively put to rest now.

Indeed, the moment must be so sublimely judged that it's unlikely to ever actually arise in a drama to start with; the characters must be in such a stable situation that there's no actual storytelling to be done here to warrant the scene occurring in the first place.

Which is convenient, because in this framework, the only unproblematic sex is the sex nobody can possibly have anyway. Because nobody can have "perfect" sex. That's not how it works - the fundamental nature of intimacy is taking each other for what you actually are, in all of the reality involved. If it can't be messy, it's not true.

All of this comes with extra points and splinters too when it comes to the matter of lesbian sex in particular, and the complicated history of how we've been either exploited for disposable male titilation, or else rendered chastely invisible by well intended feminists of all persuasions. We were already being presented with a sex or romance dichotomy, and never mind if either one worked.

It's a dysfunctional either/or. Asexuals & friends notwithstanding, physical intimacy is an incredibly important feature of the lives we spend together, and the bodies we live our lives in. And as much as we'd like to think we're all too cool and aloof for it, for most of us lust is impossible to entirely detach from sentiment, when it comes to the real people we form bonds with.

People falling in love want to fuck each other. People who are in love want to fuck each other. People fall in love in the process of fucking each other. It's not some abstract thing that happens in isolation to our feelings for each other.

I don't think it's good for us to perform such weird acrobatics to pretend none of this is true, whatever the reason for doing so; but that is effectively what modern media does.

And I think we're all poorer for it. We're poorer for missing out on the most private, intimately human kinds of moments in our stories that live in the space where love and lust can intersect. Because that's the only place those moments happen.

And then people try to claim that it’s because being sapphic is “normalized in media” —you mean porn?? Being fetishized is not the same as being accepted, and it’s still incredibly dangerous. Sure maybe some men will ask you for a threesome and then get grumpy when you refuse and leave it at that (which is still sexual harassment) but many other times they get violent when you don’t fulfill their fantasies. Or they try corrective rape.

The real reason this happens is because our collective understanding of sexuality is phallocentric and a lot of people cannot fathom a healthy and fulfilling relationship between two women. Somehow a dick needs to be involved in some way.

Additionally, in terms of actual media, it is in general more accepted to be a homosexual man and gay men get more time, better story development, and way more attention from fans, as a general group.

You know how sometimes people act like homophobia toward women barely exists? I feel like that definitely plays into the way people act toward bisexual women vs men. Like men are oh so brave for coming out as bisexual and braving homophobia to be true to themselves and why would they lie about it when he could have saved face and stay closeted until he dated a man, how brave. vs with women it's like why would she even come out if she's not dating a woman, she's probably faking it for the clout (no mention of bravery for risking homophobia)

MY BABIES I LOVE THEMMMMMM