I Was So Scared Chapter Five Begun That I Decided To Replay Rdr1

"Did you love him?"

WHAT?! It's morning! I lost time. Things got a little heated— With a boy! Things got heated with a boy. I was at home picking lint off the sofa! I said to join us! The night's gone. The room's soiled and once again, I'm here with mop and mindlessness to clean it up. So the room got dirty, so what? I'll clean it up. No, I clean it up! You make the mess and I clean it up! Mark it on the calendar, align it with Ursa Major. Louis' tri-annual FUCK OFF and find me with apologies to follow. I'm sorry. SEEK comfort in the arms of lowlifes and unfortunates, and broken children, fine. Oh, fine! The fine that doesn't sound fine— But REVEALING our nature to a reporter you met in a bar ten hours ago? What if it was published? I was having some fun! You don't have enough to fear from Paris? I was in the middle of ending things, when YOU— YOU'D have been passed out on the floor next to him, Louis! Out on your feet from the drugs you stuffed him with! Oh, this is boring! You're boring! YOU ARE SO BORING! And here come the drugs. Colorless. Up the fangs, down the throat. Flavorless. Dull! Into the heart and off with the fingers, feet. Dull! Dull nights! And wallowing brain. Dull weeks, dull months, DULL AS FUCK! Suffocation by the world's softest, beige-est pillow! The ten hours I spent with that boy were more exciting, more FASCINATING, than DECADES with YOU! Oh, there it is! The half-blank, half-apocalyptic look! But what does it mean tonight, huh? Does he want to lick my boots or chop my hands off? Is it the gremlin or the good nurse tonight? Huh? Okay. Okay, perhaps. But am I as boring as the blather committed onto the ferric tapes of your fascinating boy? "Oh, it's so, so hard to be me." "Picking lint off the sofa?!" "It's so hard to kill humans." "I can feel their feelings as I drain them." You sat on your hands and put your ear to the wind. "Everyone I know wronged me." Okay. Okay, let's wake the boy up and let's try you. "I'm the vampire Armand and my daddy vampire groomed me into a little BITCH!" "My brother he tossed himself off a roof!" "Vampires who murdered my daddy made me pretend I didn't have a dick for 240 years." "My sister buried me alive. My daughter was my sister was my throw pillow. Well, he wouldn't look at me kindly. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat." I talked shit about him the whole time. So what?! THE NAME!! The name! Unuttered in our home for 23 years, said over and over again until it was pounding in my brain like a hammer. Our problems aren't about him. And you threw her name around just for cover, but it always circled back to him. I loved her. But SHE didn't love YOU. Not like he did, not like I have. I know. I know! Yes! I know. Thank you for saying it. It's all creeping back. Paris and the, uh, what, what, what? But there's... all of it coming back. There's, uh, Paris. Paris. Can you hear that? Can you hear that, hm? Can you hear her? She's calling me.

I dearly love the trope in Devil’s Minion fics where Daniel’s daughters find Armand in his apartment and are immediately concerned that their father is some old creep dating a guy in his twenties. It’s never not funny.

But I started thinking how Armand might view this reaction.

He obviously expected it. To outsiders, his companionship with Daniel looks strange. But I can see him being oddly touched by their sincere concern for him. It would stick with him after they’d left and he wouldn’t immediately know why.

Then later it might hit him: so few people throughout his existence have noticed his age and tried to protect him. Noticed his age, yes, but it was never about keeping him safe. Quite the opposite, and he was much younger then.

Daniel would not harm him, could not harm him, like he’s been harmed before, but so few had ever attempted to intervene when Arun or Amadeo had been repeatedly hurt, if anyone had at all. Daniel could never do to him what had been done in the past, but even the casual worry and judgement from his girls leaves Armand with a sort of ache in his soul he can’t articulate.

There’s also the chance he wouldn’t realise why he felt like that at all. He’s not had the ability to unpack any of his trauma. He’s stuck in it, so the feeling, initially touching, turns to the usual emptiness that feels like a permanent part of him, except it’s deeper than it normally is. He doesn’t know that the feeling is actually a wistful longing for his previous selves to have felt even an ounce of that concern for his wellbeing.

Daniel is a needy bastard who needs to have Armand in every single way possible.

Uhhh the turning, or something, listen i just think Daniel has bitten Armand back when he was trying to murder him 👍

its not hatesex its fundamentally worse. they’re in real true love.

Delainey Hayles as Claudia in INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE | SEASON 2

Waiting for a response

Furry disco noir..?