My Dog Gave Me The Most Hopeful Look Only To Realize That The Sound Was Coming From My Phone

Happy 4th :)

me *talking to literally anyone*: it’s not that i hate you, it’s just that i hate everyone and you happen to fall into that group

I can’t believe I would have to start tagging spoilers for the show like the pjo book came out 10 years ago it’s old news that Luke was the villain move on

@aquietfather are you ok pal

I was visiting a friend of mine, staying over for the weekend, and realized I’d forgotten my toothpaste spoon. I asked my friend if they had a spare toothpaste spoon I could borrow, but they had no idea what a toothpaste spoon was. I tried to explain it to them, but they still didn’t understand, as they just stuck their toothbrush right into the bucket. They offered to loan me a tea spoon, but tea spoons don’t hold toothpaste the right way and aren’t as effective. It turned out their cat had a spare toothpaste spoon and I borrowed it, but it smelled slightly of sardines and made the brushing experience awkward.

I didn't know bucket toothpaste was only a thing here!

phil’s editing appreciation post <3

the accuracy tho

ITS YOU! IVE SEEN YOU ON EVERY SINGLE SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM THAT EXISTS

Despite the fact that I’m only on two?

mood

these guys

"kill yourself": overdone and unoriginal. amateurish, even. honestly more embarrassing for you than the person you say it to.

"if we were both shiny objects a crow would choose me over you": devastating. an insult that you'll never forget for as long as you live. there's no coming back from this one.

that moment when you’re all three

Three kinds of gay people