Sirius: Being Gay Isn't A Choice.

things you can do at any stage in life:

love yourself

have a fresh start

go back to school

recover

make new friends

fall in love

go to therapy

learn a skill

discover your passion

repair relationships

change the world

find a new hobby

be happy

it isn’t too late for you. you’ll be okay. there’s no time limit on happiness.

bad study/school habits to drop

like seriously, drop them asap. 

they’re toxic and prevent you from being productive and doing your best. change won’t come right away, but do your best to stop these bad habits.

comparing yourself to others. in anything, we tend to compare ourselves to others even though we know how unhealthy it is. stop comparing yourself to your friends and classmates because everyone works in different ways at different paces.

complaining. i get it. nobody wants to write multiple essays or do fifty math problems. it’s either you do it or you don’t. if you don’t do it, there’s nothing to complain about. if you do the assignment, why complain if you know you’ll finish it anyway ? complaining is counterproductive and honestly quite annoying.

being negative. “i’m gonna fail this test.” “i can’t do it.” everyone says these things to themselves, including me. sometimes i’ll say “i don’t understand anything” even though i’ve barely tried. speak your success into existence and put in the work. believe in yourself or at least accept the situation if you didn’t prepare enough so you can do your best.

cramming. if you know you have a test on friday, start studying a few days before. rather than spending a whole 3 hours studying the night prior, study in smaller increments several days beforehand. take your time to understand the concepts. cramming stresses the body by trying to force memorization which usually doesn’t end up well.

going out when you have homework. i get it. you want to hang out with your friends, but you really should get your work done. make an effort to finish most/all of your work before you go out. personally, the fact that i have work to do lingers in the back of my mind which lowkey stresses me when i’m trying to have fun. who wants that ?

procrastinating. you all know why you shouldn’t do it so there’s really nothing to say. it’s one of the worst habits to have, and i hope we can all work towards getting rid of it.

p.s. thank you to everyone who disagreed with my advice but gave me feedback in a polite way. i’ll keep editing slightly because i usually write these at the end of a long day so sometimes my intended meaning doesn’t get across to some people.

The best thing, Is that even now, when I’ve lost my home, and a few friends, my sense of direction, and my savings. I can still see the joy in life. I can still see the joy in finding an apartment with a small window so my dog can look outside and see when I get come, and the joy in helping my mother arrange empty bottles on her shelf for decorative purposes.  I can see the joy in studying to go back to school, or continuing to go to work. The best thing, is that even though times are tough, I can still see joy in everyday.

Excerpt from a Book I’ll Never Write, Perhaps the Best Thing (via sunflowerletters)

How can 30 minute change your life?

Hii. I found out this method recently and want to share it with you. It seems pretty easy, but it is really working. 

If you ask me what is the main reason of all failures I would answer — absence of patience. The reality is success takes time. And the bigger success takes more time. Richard Branson didn’t become a millionaire in one night. Madonna didn’t wake up being a queen of pop. David Beckham didn’t turn into the one of the best footballers in a few training.

However, there is a trick that working for everyone and every time. Most of the people know about it very well, but never use it. It’s called a 30-minute theory. 

Try to spend 30 minutes on something every day and once you get used to it make it 40 minutes, then 50 etc. One of the advantages of this method is it suits absolutely everyone. For example, you want to read more books. Find 30 minutes in your day on reading. Easy, isn’t? Therefore, in one year you can read almost 24 books.

Use 30 minutes every day to create a dream come true. Get more information about what you must interested in. Always wanted to learn Spanish? Or maybe want to know French? Do what you have always been putting off. In six months you will look back and remember what you have started with. You will be amazed how you succeed because of the 30 minutes in one day.

Don’t blame yourself if you deviate from schedule and missed a few days. Just go back to studying and continue where you stopped. Remember: you are doing more than a lot of people.

Be patient. Don’t expect the results on the next day. You need a time. The more ambitious goal you have, the more time you need.

P.S. Happy New Year to everyone !! I hope 2019 will bring all of you happiness, love, success and happy memories. 

P.S.S. I hope this was useful. And i also hope you will use it in your beginnings.   

Doing well is much easier said than done. The best tip I have is to just do the work. It’s going to suck, but there’s no secret other than doing the work. Though, there are ways to make doing the work easier!

I. Time Management

Have a planner to gain a general idea of your week.

Schedule your time for studying but also schedule time for breaks.

Every morning I check what needs to be done for the day.

I treat college as a 9-5 job with a lunch break. This may not work for everyone, but this thinking allows me to be done by 5, and I usually finish everything for the day by that time.

Take a break after you finish an assignment. Allow yourself to feel proud for finishing and give yourself a reward.

Break up projects into smaller parts, this is incredibly important. It’s easier to do an outline, then a few paragraphs rather than doing an entire essay at once.

It’s not time well used if you don’t focus on the task at hand. If you’re having trouble, get rid of distractions using apps that limit phone/internet usage.

Don’t waste time on techniques that don’t work for you. I don’t rewrite notes, it doesn’t help me study. Instead I do extra textbook problems or I watch a video on the topic. 

Sometimes it’s hard to motivate yourself to do the work, to study. Then just do a single problem, a single page or paragraph. Usually starting is the hardest part.

II. Studying & Learning

Be present during class by asking questions and answering problems.

Use phone-locking apps like Forest if you need to to stay focused on the class.

Skim lecture notes ahead of time. You don’t need to take notes on them, the professor will tell you what’s important.

It’s ok if your notes aren’t pretty as long as they’re functional.

Practice problems until you can’t get them wrong.

Try to teach the material to someone else. This will show holes in your understanding. Pretend to teach if you don’t have a friend in the same class.

If you need, study in the library. Honestly, studying at my desk in my dorm has worked just fine for me though.

Do the homework, there’s no way around it. This is probably the biggest tip here. Do the work.

Actually do the homework, don’t just copy answers. Understand the answers. You can’t copy on a test.

Speaking of tests, do as many practice tests as you can find. Once the real test comes around, you won’t be as nervous and it should feel familiar.

Nice pens and notebooks aren’t required. However, spend a dollar and get a pen that writes well enough that you’re not wasting time during class getting it to work. (I’ve been through this)

Do the extra credit. There’s no reason not to, and your grade will thank you.

Go to tutoring, not everyone knows everything. You might even make a new friend since most tutors at my school are also students!

Realistically, you don’t need to do every reading assignment as long as you know what your professor tests on. If you don’t have the time, its fine to only skim the assignment.

Make study groups. If you don’t have a friend in the class, it’s as easy as asking “want to work on the homework together?” In my experience, most people are happy to work with you.

Go to your professors office hours if you need help. Your professors are a valuable resource.

Ask your friends for feedback, I do this all the time.

III. Treat Yourself

Sleep and eat well. Coffee is not a breakfast.

Please, don’t force yourself to cram a subject overnight. This is where time management comes into play.

An over-stressed student is a bad student, but a little bit of stress is healthy.

Find what motivates you. Personally, I wish to become a researcher so I work hard towards that goal to get into a good grad. school.

You don’t have to join a club. I’m not in one, and my social life is just fine since I spend time playing games with friends at night.

But join a club if you want, even for a single day. You might meet some friends.

Really do whatever you want with regards to your social life. Do what’s comfortable for you.

If you need it, colleges have a therapist that you can make an appointment with.

At 17, I was a depressed teenager who self harmed and wondered about just how painful it could possibly be to end my life.

Right now, I’m laying on the couch, and I can hear my husband reading our four year old a bedtime story using silly voices.

Life gets better. Make sure you’re there to see it.

picture it now. the life you want to have. the smells, the colors, the people. the smiles and the accomplishments. where you’ll live, where you’ll relax, where you’ll study or meet new people or just discover. allow yourself to dream, and aim high. disappointment is a part of life, and whenever someone succeeded, they allowed themselves to dream, to expect, and then to fail. and then try all over again, until it worked out.

so your last semester wasn’t great.

we’ve all been there fam. in fact my previous semester was not great either – i got kicked out of my university’s honor program. You need a 3.5 cumulative GPA to stay in, and because of a lot of different circumstances, I finished out with a 3.48 – which is, frankly, better than i deserved. But this semester I’m gonna get a 4.0 and reapply. So here’s how ya do it. 

1. have a good first day. 

a big mistake is to go balls-to-the-wall discipline on your first day. Fuckin… relax, dude. Wake up as early as you need to be ready, but don’t push yourself to be up at 5am or anything like that. Set our your stuff the night before so you can have an easy morning. Treat yourself to a good breakfast or just get that fast food you’ve been craving for lunch. It’s really important not to stress yourself out too much, especially after your last semester kinda sucked, and it’s VERY important not to let yourself automatically associate school with negative emotions like fear and stress, because that will paralyze you down the line when things get more difficult closer to exam season, etc. 

2. don’t be afraid to drop

when going to all your new classes, really seriously evaluate your ability to succeed in a class with that time slot/professor/etc. last semester I had a quantitative reasoning class that was part of our core curriculum – the professor was NOT good at their job, did not teach us the material, and frankly showing up to that class was a waste of my time. What i SHOULD have done was DROP THE DAMN CLASS the first week, and taken it the next semester with a better professor. 

3. limit other activities at first

your first couple weeks of the new semester, cut back on other activities. I’m really active in political stuff going on around my city, and i’m on a leadership team for an organization that does that kind of stuff. I’ve let the team know that I’m not going to be participating, going to meetings, or ANYTHING for the next two weeks while my semester gets started. The reasons for this are many – it helps you get used to the pace of all your classes without being stressed out by other things, it helps you reorganize your priorities and put school first, and it also helps you build credit with your professors, so down the line if you’re having problems (like ‘oh SHIT i forgot this homework’ or ‘FUCK i don’t understand this project i need an extension’) they’ll be more likely to help you out, because they know you’ve been putting the effort in. 

4. try out something new organizationally

if you’re like me, keeping track of assignments is really difficult. I lose papers all the damn time. So this semester I’ve bought one of those accordion file thingies – so I can keep all my papers in one place, while still having them separate and organized. Just remember, the strategy is only one part, but you’re responsible for sticking to it and making it work. 

so there ya have it, friends. you’re ready to start this ‘recovery semester’ off with a bang. you can do it, and so can I!