James: Hey Remus I Need Some Advice-

i am the most obnoxious person i know

Harry: Draco.

Harry: why is the outside of the flat painted in rainbow colours

Harry: Other people live here too

Draco: It’s pride month Harry! Gotta get in the spirit!

Harry: Does it come off?

Draco:…

Draco: It’s 20gayteen it’s pride year Harry! It doesn’t need to come off

Harry: That’s a no then

“What do you meAN YOU PANICKED? WE’VE BEEN DATING FOR SEVEN MONTHS”

“...sorry - I love you too you know”

*mumbles* “idiot”

Everyone stop what you’re doing and let’s talk about this:

honestly people, do rp and write on this, pleaseeee.

Lily: this is what I want to be wearing when my husband dies under mysterious circumstances.

Sirius: yes. Exactly. Standing out on a balcony that overlooks the sea, smoking a long cigarette and the police come to question me and I say “what are you implying officer? I loved my husband!”

Lily: *nodding* yes, yes. I offer them fresh tea in the cups that just happen to be set up waiting for them.

Sirius: nah, fuck the tea. I’m drinking a Cosmo. And I have a pet pig and I casually mention that pigs can devour a human body in under an hour…

Lily: not sure about the pig, but I have a rose garden and I mention how good fertilizer helps them grow.

Sirius: ah yes, and we walk down a beautiful staircase, our perfectly manicured hands running down the ornate banister.

Lily: of course. No other way to do it.

James:….

Remus:….

Lily:…

Sirius:…

Remus: ….pig needs to be in a matching robe.

James: and a flower crown made of roses

Lily: they’re right.

Sirius: yes… Too bad they have to die.

((Based on a conversation with @iforgotthesardines about this robe:

draco’s first hour watching baking shows: wow, these people are quite good

draco on his 23rd hour in a row: idc how good her fondant is, if kathy doesnt add more buttercream to that mixture her consistency is going to be all off

harry, trying to work: malfoy you have never baked in your ENTIRE BLOODY LIFE

a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay

Harry: Draaaa-cooo?... Have you got any spare pain potions?

Draco: *Squinting suspiciously* ... Why?

Harry: My leg hurts...

Draco:

Draco: So what you're telling me-

Harry: Here we go-

Draco: -Is that when I said that trying to skateboard like a muggle, with no practice, on concrete-

Harry: It was asphalt-

Draco: Was a bad idea...

Harry: It was something I'd always wanted to do as a child!

Draco: And then not take anything after you inevitably crashed and landed in a crumpled heap on the floor-

Harry: It wasn't that bad!

Draco: And that it would hurt later-

Harry: It didn't feel too bad at the time!

Draco: I was right!

Harry:

Harry: Look, I'm sorry, alright? What do you want from me?!

Draco: *Grinning smugly* Nothing, darling. Nothing at all!

To Be Written

Source: Steven Ingels

Harry Potter and the Year he thought it was Snape but it was Quirrel Harry Potter and the Year he thought it was Draco but it was Ginny Harry Potter and the Year he thought it was Sirius but it was Wormtail Harry Potter and the Year he thought it was Karkaroff but it was Moody/Crouch Jr Harry Potter and the Year everyone knew it was that b*tch Umbridge Harry Potter and the Year it actually did turn out to be Snape Harry Potter and the Year it turned out to be Harry all along.

I know it don’t work like that but shhhhhhh, hear me out

Harry Potter AU where they put fidelius charm on Harry himself. Because voldy can’t kill him if he can’t figure out that our boi exists