JK Rowling: I Shall Name Him My Villain Voldemort. It Is French For “fleeing From Death”, Indicative

Whenever Hagrid finally decides to retire as Care of Magical Creatures professor you can bet your last knut that Charlie Weasley flies back to England the following week excitedly waving his resume and recommendation letters from no less than two Scamanders and the Minister of Magic, Hermione Granger.

James: Hey Remus I need some advice-

Remus, immediately: Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips to add, you measure that shit with your heart

James: Right, Okay…. See I actually had something else in mind..

remus lupin’s patronus is a wolf are you SHITTING me

like can you imagine him doing it for the first time and finally succeeding and it’s a fucking wolf and all his classmates are like “oh that’s cool” and meanwhile he walks over and kicks a desk

Everything changed in third year. It really should have been insignificant in the grander scheme of things. Magic was real, Harry was the Boy Who Lived, and He Who Must Not be Named was back. There were so many more important things to think about. So why was Harry so hung up on the fact that Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were in love? Or how Harry accidentally fell in love with Draco Malfoy. (And it might have been the best thing that ever happened to him ... or the worst)

The most unrealistic thing about Hogwarts is there is no overt petty drama?? There are like 5 kids per year who have to live together for SEVEN YEARS and they can do MAGIC. You can’t tell me the muffliato charm wasn’t used to talk mad shit about people. How many witches hexed their best friend’s dress robes to always be one size too small because they were fighting? And you expect me to believe that people ACTUALLY stayed in bed during curfew instead of flying through the Scottish highlands? Also the castle is designed to ruin your fucking life. Can you imagine being drunk on the moving staircases?? That’s an entire mythology of student stories in and of itself. I’m just saying, when I was in high school someone locked and duct taped a car alarm into a locker and then set it off for two hours straight and I’m 95% sure he wasn’t even a wizard

What if instead of gilly weed Harry had showed up to the black lake challenge in muggle scuba gear like “like where’s your advanced magic now bitches? Got me a free fishing knife with this thing”

that’s friendship, babes! x/x

Hermione smugly presenting the findings of the international symposium that declared Pluto not a planet as final proof that astrology is made up.

But it turns out that’s what’s been throwing off everyone’s readings so a lot of divination quickly starts becoming more refined and accurate when they take that into account.

Hermione is hailed as a divination savant and that’s what she’s most known in the history books for.

Scared potter

So imagine Draco and harry getting together and then there’s this running joke (that harry says he hates but actually loves) of Draco saying “scared potter” at EVERY CHANCE HE HAS.

So like:

Harry opening a letter

“scared potter?”

About to tell Ron there dating

“scared potter?”

Making out in Harry’s dorm

“scared potter?”

Crossing road

“scared potter?”

About to take a shot

“scared potter?”

About to walk down a flight of stairs

“scared potter?”

About to eat a sandwich

“scared potter?”

EVERY CHANCE!

And one day Harry seems to be hesitate to say something and Draco just there like “scared potter?” Automatically

And Harry just smirks and says “yeah” and gets down on one knee.

muggle 1: hey, do you ever hear from that kid in primary school with the weird name…hermione, that was it.

muggle 2: nah she kinda dropped off the radar a while back

muggle 2: weird thing though, her parents moved to australia for a bit and stopped talking about her

muggle 1: what?

muggle 2: yeah, like, my mum’s friends with her mum, and they just moved one day? hermione wasn’t with them, though, and they stopped mentioning her at all

muggle 1: didn’t she go to some fancy boarding school? i bet she’s, like, training to be a spy

muggle 2: dude, you’re so full of shit