Damn Girl, You’re One Fine Hipster, Cause You Can Really Make Those Hips Stir.

Dwight Schrute Valentine’s cards

What pickup line would you recommend to get me a girlfriend at Christmas?

How about:* Shouldn’t you be sitting on top of the tree, Angel? - or -* Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas?—Just some ideas! Hope it works outXoxo - Grace

don’t stick your tongue out at me unless you’re gonna use it

You don’t need to give me a spoonful of sugar to make me go down. ;)

I like men like I like my coffee…

I don’t like coffee

“I was recently diagnosed with a rare disease called cryoaudiovascularia. It prohibits proper blood flow to the ears, causing them to slowly freeze and fall off, slowly spreading to the inner ear and finally to the brain. There is no known cure, except one. My ears need to be constantly warmed, and the only known material soft enough is the inner thighs of a pretty girl. So I need you to sit on my face for medical reasons.”

- Source

Heh, you think my writing’s great - you should feel what I can do with my tongue.

Oko ninjah (things lesbians say)

U WNANA FUKCINGN GO?? ????? grab an icecream together or something because u are attractive

THESE ARE SO GOOD

Cult Film Valentine’s day cards!