She Nothing On My Nothing Til I Nothing. Celibacy

it seems a little fucked up that bodies don't have a little reset button that you can press with a toothpick or something that unclenches your jaw resets your headache loosens your muscles takes away all the aches and pains someone's gotta get on that i think

grocery stores don't love you they want to see harm come to you and if you spend too long in one you will not return the same

im the worlds most

the thing about the cybertruck being marketed towards people who are afraid theyll get shot driving through a city is that no other vehicle on the market psychologically invites violence and bullets as strongly as the cybertruck does. you see a cybertruck and you wanna empty an m16 into it

octopus 2022 wrapped

this year you disguised yourself as:

coral 10023 times

ocean floor 8064 times

coconut shell 244 times

various fish 196 times

scuba divers long lost wife 12 times

im not christian but i do believe in the power of prayer. for this reason i keep a little homonculus in a dog crate under my bed which i have raised as a devout catholic. whenever i want something in my life to change i poke him with a stick and he clasps his grubby little paws together and starts chanting in latin. his prayers always go through because he has never known sin

so is no one going to talk about how bdubs, my lovely minecraft builder content creator, genuinely considered sending joel a pipe bomb

start saying "im gonna kill somebody" instead of "im gonna kms" to introduce a positive, pro-active mindset ☺️

Someone hit me with their car and I got isekai'd to a world that's really similar to my old one except in this one my collarbone is mysteriously broken