Me, Pulling My Weighted Blanket Back Onto The Bed Because It Had Fallen Off Halfway Through The Night

The first thing that has ever made me believe I could actually be loveable as an autistic person was a dating sim where it turns out that the guy you’re dating has autism.

I cried.

Kiara and Kovu from Lion King 2 were peak romance. They made each other want to be better and they did. 10/10 show-stopping incredible. "In a perfect world, one we've never known, we would never need to face the world alone. They can have the world; we'll create our own" like okay?????? Coming out here slamming me in the face with such poetry????

I am doing this because I can

nice

When is it my turn to live in a small apartment in a big city where I'm friends with all the neighbors and with the baker and the grocery store owners who I get to talk to on my weekly shopping trips, where everything is within walking distance, and where I can spend hours at a coffee shop to write and I'm friends with the regulars and the workers. I want to look out my window at night and revel in the city lights, knowing that there is an infinite amount of possibilities waiting for me whenever I'm ready to grab them.

When will I get to be the sexy villain that lounges on an ornate throne, smirking evilly in a way that makes the protagonist’s mouth go dry as they start to question what they’re willing to risk for a single touch, and at the end I leave my empire to be with the protagonist but I never leave my evil ways behind and they still accept me for it because I want to live in that world

Thought I would share my depressing parody of “Gone Forever” by Three Days Grace because I’m actually a little proud of how it turned out. Trigger warning for depression. (I’m okay now in case anyone is worried.)

Don’t know what’s going on.

Don’t know why I’m wrong.

Feels like a hundred years my

Ambition has been gone.

And I stay up all night

With these bloodshot eyes

While these walls surround me;

Where’s the meaning of my life?

I’d feel so much better

If I were gone forever.

I tell myself you wouldn’t miss me at all.

It’s not lying, denying, that you’d feel so much better if I were

To be gone forever.

Wish feelings were more clear.

So do you need me here?

While I’m in dark surroundings,

D’you wish I’d disappear?

And I try hard to find

The reasons in my mind.

Until the morning comes I’ll

Just want to end my life.

Would you feel much better

If I were gone forever?

Tell yourself you wouldn't miss me at all.

Be lying, denying, that you’d feel so much better if I were

To be gone forever.

First time thoughts screamed at me

I tried hard not to leave.

I need to know it can get so much better.

I hope that you’d miss me.

I hope you make me see.

“Don’t be gone forever.”

Wish feelings were more clear.

I wish you’d need me here.

While I’m in dark surroundings,

Don’t let me disappear.

I want to feel better.

Don’t want to leave forever.

I tell myself that I would miss you all.

I’m not lying, denying, that I just want it better;

Now don’t let it be forever.

And now I want forever.

Don’t let me end forever.

One of my best friends will no longer be my coworker, so that means that now more than ever I cannot tell her that I love her, because her leaving means most of our interactions will be through texts, which means it will be easier to idolise and create my own image of her. The bad news is, I was talking about love languages with her and said I wanted to spend money on her because “money is my love language”, and then she said she loved me “too” and then I realised I inadvertently told her I loved her so anyway life was a mistake

My friend wasn’t texting me back for three days when she usually only takes two hours at most, so I was getting worried about her and kind of low-key figured well maybe she got tired of you, but then she got in touch and told me that her phone wasn’t working and that she didn’t want me to worry, and then she said that she missed me because she wasn’t able to respond to my texts, and that just made me smile a lot.

Edit: It turns out she wasn’t getting my texts at all, BUT THE POINT STILL STANDS SHE WAS STILL MISSING ME AND I STARTED MISSING HER TOO

I saw fanart of Mr. Will You Do the Fandango and now I can’t breathe I’m simping too hard

Aro story time

So my friend who I am not interested in asked me to prom and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I said yes. Prom happened, it was okay, kind of awkward, but I found some of my friends at the dance and hung out with them. Doorstep time, he confessed that he had feelings for me, and in an attempt to reject him kindly, I think I accidentally led him on. Because I told him, “You know I identify as aromantic, so I could never like you back in that way,” and then I got worried about his response so I said, “but I’ve always said I could see myself marrying a best friend.” And then we hugged and I kissed him on the cheek, but I don’t even see him as a best friend?? And I still don’t know what to do about that even a year later because he moved away for work and he comes back in like a week but I don’t want to talk to him really because I'm scared he’ll ask me on a date help