Genius Idea:

There should be a lock button on photo apps so that when I show my conservative parents a picture, they can't accidentally swipe to see all the gay fanart right next to it.

Me: (does something)

Someone: (jokingly) What’s wrong with you?

Me, unable to understand the odd and bitter feeling I suddenly have: (jokingly) Everything.

Me, later that night, out loud, to myself: I’m autistic and was raised to hate myself for it, thanks for asking.

Someone find me a cute man that adores me and thinks I’m his world so that I can show him all the affection he deserves and all his friends will be so happy he’s found someone.

Ooh, that’s a good AU idea right there. Someone’s probably made it, so now I must go and find it. If not, I shall make it in my own head.

MY ENTIRE SHORT MXTX LIFE I THOUGHT THE GUY IN WHITE ON THE COVER WAS WEI WUXIAN BUT IT’S NOT MY LIFE IS A LIE IT WAS LAN WANGJI THE WHOLE TIME

While the plot of Barbie Princess Charm School (2011) is often criticized on the seemingly ridiculous method of assigning the scholarship via lottery, this in actuality works as a larger allegory for the world of higher academia: Madame Privet states that only 27% of the “lottery girls” graduate, and Blair, who comes from a lower class background, suffers, in addition to social ostracization on account of her socio-economic background, a learning curve, as she struggles with concepts that the other girls, who were all raised to be princesses, take for granted. We can presume, then, that the other girls who graduated were very likely from socio-economic backgrounds that encouraged them to receive training ahead of time in, for example, etiquette, history, geography, etc., giving them a distinct advantage in the system while disadvantaging girls from lower class backgrounds. The only means for students such as Blair to gain social mobility is via a mentor based system, in which a teacher, such as Madame Privet, personally oversees their education. While the scholarship maintains the illusion of equality, therefore, there is no equity in the system. We might compare this to the modern American academic system, which overwhelmingly claims to be merit-based while also overwhelmingly privileging students who can, for example, pay for extensive testing or an expensive undergraduate or MA degree. Furthermore, the emphasis on letters of recommendation puts an overwhelming pressure on students to maintain a good relationship with their supervisors which can in fact hide abusive power dynamics. In this essay I will….

I so love (no I don't) how my older brother told my little brother that if they had been in the same grade, that my little brother would have absolutely been in my older brother's friend group. And then my older brother also told me that he hates being associated with me. So I think I have a reason to be upset by our relationship.

"The day before there were another 23 victims. He's killing one off, every hour on the hour."

Okay but time is a social construct. Time is relative. How does the Death Note know what time it is? Which clock is it going off of? If I take it into a spaceship, fly off into another sphere of gravity, and ask for the death to occur at 6, is it going off the spaceship's time or Earth's time? How does it know???

My dad is the funniest guy in the entire world and everyone needs to acknowledge this right now

Me, very much aromantic: It would be awesome to be one of the hunters of Artemis.

Coworker: But then you’d never be able to get married and have kids!

Me:

Coworker:

Me: IT WOULD BE AWESOME TO BE—

Astarion IS Shrek 2