How NaNoWriMo Started: *a Good Balance Between Action And Dialogue, Exposition Done In A Natural Way*

Me, very much aromantic: It would be awesome to be one of the hunters of Artemis.

Coworker: But then you’d never be able to get married and have kids!

Me:

Coworker:

Me: IT WOULD BE AWESOME TO BE—

My brother is so annoying, I'll be like "Here's my new idea for a story! It's just vibes right now lol 😆" and he'll be like "See?!?!?! You can't write any of this because there's no plot!!!1!!1!!! THAT'S why your story sounds so awful!!!! You need to know exactly where the story is going and you have NO CLUE what you're doing!! Who are the characters???? What are their arcs???? How does this all connect????? If you don't already know that, then you CAN'T write this and have it turn out good!!"

Brother stfu I created this last night how do you expect me to have a fully fleshed out narrative when it's still in development

okay but the harmonies in “I Need to Know” from Island Princess???? are so beautiful??? I’m seriously about to cry rn the male singer’s voice is so pretty and he’s harmonizing so well like oh my goodness

My brother told me that he doesn't like talking to others but that he's fine with talking to me because I'm the only person he knows that plays Genshin, but what will he do when he's no longer interested in the game? Will he stop coming by my room? Will he stop texting me memes? Will he stop asking if I want to hear the latest leaks? Will I only see him during dinner when he's home for a break, and then never again?

Interests wane in severity. I know this. How much longer will my brother be friendly before he no longer needs me around to listen to him?

I rewatched Phantom of the Opera today (25th Anniversary) and now I kinda want to write an xReader AU fanfic where Idia is the Phantom. I don't know who Raoul is, but I'm considering Azul. Feeling a little silly, I might just try it.

I've decided that Neuvillette should be Edmond. If he’s going to live for a long time anyways, he might as well get over Wriothesley now.

Not sure who the other characters will be yet.

WRIOLETTE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO AU

I HAVE NO DETAILS BUT TRUST ME THE VIBES ARE THERE

Why I Can’t Bring Myself to Tell My Friends I Love Them

I used to tell my friends that I loved them all the time. If I saw them doing something I thought was cute, or if they made an awesome joke, or if they tried their hardest on something, or when I would get the occasional rush of gratitude for them, I would tell them. Love was meant to be expressed when they were still there to receive it, and love was meant for everyone. I wanted everyone to know that love was meant to be given liberally.

Back when my ex best friend cared about me, she was so supportive. She would tell me that there was good in the world and there were things to be living for, and she would always be so happy and in love with life. She was a small person, with a round face and the warmest hugs, and she would tell me that I was worth it. That I was worth loving, that I was amazing, that I made her life better. My second new best friend does that too. She does all of that. They’re different people, but in terms of what they provide me they’re nearly the same, and in terms of appearance, they look similar. And that scares me because there’s a reason my ex best friend is no longer my friend, and to see the same feelings start for someone similar is terrifying.

When I finally acknowledged my first best friend after moving on from the last one, I noticed she was giving me everything my ex best friend couldn’t, but I was resigned to the idea that she wasn’t as verbally or physically affectionate. I still love that best friend, but those are my love languages, and I don’t usually get them from other people. And then my second best friend came into my life and gave me exactly what I wanted and needed that was missing from my first best friend. But now there’s a problem. Because my first best friend isn’t very verbally affectionate, she probably wouldn’t like it if I told her I love her, and even if she did, I would be opening up to her too much and that might push her away. My second best friend would absolutely love it if I told her I loved her, but I’m too worried that I’ll put all my energy into that friendship only to slowly realise that I’m not getting anything back.

I want to love them. I do love them. And I always thought it was a cliché motivation when a character was like “I’ve been hurt before and I don’t want to be hurt again”, but that is exactly how I feel and I couldn’t even trust my second best friend when she told me that she would always care about me because that’s what I told my ex best friend and now I hate her with a burning passion. I hate songs like “Night Changes” or “The One That Got Away” because they remind me that something you think will be infinite could end within a moment, and I hate reading fanfics where characters end up far away from each other with no possible way of regaining the relationship they had before and/or in canon because that’s the truth of life. People will come and go and you can’t do anything about it. Love is never going to be enough if it’s only going one way. Life isn’t a show where everything comes full circle; there are going to be loose ends and regrets and there will be no consolation or closure and everyone leaves eventually no matter how much you or they care. I love my best friends now but if I admit it to them then it solidifies the idea that there’s something to lose, and I can’t stand that. I don’t want to be hurt again. Despite how genuine my best friends may be right now, there will be a day where they don’t care. I don’t want to reach that day. I don’t want it to continue to that point. I don’t want to tell them I love them.

Just ate a strawberry and had the flavor still lingering in my mouth. As I walked out of the kitchen I was like, "Woah, that was strawberry flavored!"

I will point out the most obvious things like it’s a novelty.

"Wow, Dad, Uncle looks so much like you!"

"That’s because he's my brother."

"Yeah. And he LOOKS it."

Or

"Wow, *voice actor* really sounds like *character*!"

"He voices him."

"Yeah, and he sounds like him too! :)"

Me: (does something)

Someone: (jokingly) What’s wrong with you?

Me, unable to understand the odd and bitter feeling I suddenly have: (jokingly) Everything.

Me, later that night, out loud, to myself: I’m autistic and was raised to hate myself for it, thanks for asking.

Maybe I would actually eat if I didn’t have to change out of my pajamas before going upstairs.