You’ve Heard Of Manic Pixie Dream Girl, Now Introducing:

I’m gonna need you to perform a full memory wipe before leaving, thanks

if we break up u have to return your keys and all knowledge of my personality traits & netflix queue

Anyone else feels like they overshare everything with others and at the very same time haven’t opened up at all to anyone

I get this ALL the time

seriously you guys, make up your mind

neurotypicals: why are you so weird? you’re really weird

me: I’m autistic

neurotypicals: but then why are you so normal? you’re really normal

Kate McKinnon is the new relatable gay meme, I don’t make the rules

Unrealistic scenario: “these ancient runes roughly translate to: abandon hope all ye who enter”   “huh I wonder what that could mean”

Better scenario: “the runes basically say ‘you enter you die’”  “well now we HAVE to go in”

America is a theme park and Florida is the zoo

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

My dad, a bodybuilder desperately begging: please stop skipping leg day

Me, a trans guy with beefy thicc goth mommy legs: no

Tag yourself I’m fuck it let’s sign up for basket weaving

i don’t want to be the best at anything. that would be stressful & wouldn’t leave room for much else

i would like to be reasonably good at a handful of things. but mostly i want to enjoy doing things, and to find fulfillment in doing them. the level of “skill” I reach is very much secondary.

Also, I like that the myth specifically states Medusa turns any man who looks at her eyes into stone, because when I first heard it my brain automatically decided Medusa was a lesbian and I’ve just had that in my brain for so long that it’s canon now

if medusa wears sunglasses do u not turn to stone

Life is a stage play and everyone has a script but me