Prosecution: Your Honor, The Defendant Has Been Scamming People Into Buying Fake “immortality Elixirs”

Prosecution: Your Honor, The Defendant Has Been Scamming People Into Buying Fake “immortality Elixirs”

Prosecution: Your honor, the defendant has been scamming people into buying fake “immortality elixirs” for years!

Defense: Objection! Your honor, the defense requests the prosecution specify exactly how many years?

Prosecution: Gladly, your honor. As you can see from the arrest records submitted into evidence, the defendant has had the audacity to continue committing this felony for 148 years!

Judge: I’m sorry, did I hear that correctly? The defendant has been selling immortality elixirs for 148 years?!

Prosecution: Yes, your honor, the earliest documented arrest was in 1886.

Judge: It’s 2014.

Prosecution: Yes, your honor.

Judge: And you don’t see anything weird about that? Anything at all?

Defense: In light of this stupidity, the defense demands the immediate release of my client followed by a drop of all charges and would like to file a lawsuit against the arresting officer for slander.

Judge: Yes. Right. Bailiff, please release the defendant. Oh, and bring me any of the elixirs taken into evidence.

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4 years ago

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meirl


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4 years ago
image

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4 years ago

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4 years ago

Now this is a beauty pageant I would watch!

Petition to add a “guns and horses and body paint” category to Miss Universe

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4 years ago

I also have the need to entertain you and will constantly ask if you want anything if you come to my home because “being a good host” was drilled into me from birth

paradoxf0x - Here Lies My Brain Vomit

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3 years ago

The average human body contains enough bones to make an entire skeleton


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paradoxf0x - Here Lies My Brain Vomit
Here Lies My Brain Vomit

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