The Younger Generations Aren’t Here To Mess Around

A bunch of kids messing with a ouija board: we call upon the spirits!

The ghost of a teenager who died in 2002: *snikering* Bro, I’m gonna tell them I’m a Victorian royal murdered by my husband.

His buddy, laughing: Yo, tell them you never got revenge so now you’re gonna murder them instead.

The ghost: Oh, hell yeah! Classic man!

the issue w/ ouija boards is that ghosts are LIARS and RELISH in your sorrows 

AKA any deer seen in the Midwest while drunk

A deer that seems to be following you.

One of, perhaps the funniest conversations I’ve ever had:

Me: *explains double incision top surgery and why nipple grafts are necessary*

My dear friend, a cis woman: So do you get to choose whose nipples they are?

Me:

My friend:

Me:

Me: No honey, they’re my nipples. I do get to keep my nipples, they just borrow them for a minute.

My friend, absolutely delighted at this news: Oh! That’s good! I think it’d be a bit weird to have someone else’s nipples!

I didn’t ask “what?” because I didn’t hear you, my brain still runs on internet explorer and the information hasn’t loaded yet

Porch Swinging Spirit: A Hauntingly Peaceful Scene.

You like a girl with a lot of personality, you say?

meirl

Step 3: Repeat

Hypotheses

I was drawing a bunch of pentagrams in my notebook during math class because I was bored and I think I drew 150 pentagrams in total before a devilish-looking guy wearing a red suit broke down the door of the classroom and yelled “wHAT the fUCK do you wANT?!”

Now I can’t stop thinking of a vampire politely knocking on the bedroom window of a house whispering “can I come in please?”

I was thinking about how vampires need permission to enter a home and then immediately thought: Damn, vampires would make really bad house burglars.