Why Not Let’s Try This Out

And that's that on that.

I watched the humans go into the rec room and lock the door behind them, just like they’ve done once a week for the last month. Captain said to let them have their space, but I couldn’t help but wonder what they did every week.

Tonight I would find out.

I waited until they’d been in there for 30 minutes or so before quietly approaching the door. I sat on the ground and tried to listen. It was very hard to hear anything.

And then something came through very clearly.

“I will stab you!”

“This doesn’t concern you.”

“Like hell it doesn’t concern me. That’s cheating!”

“If both parties agree to the trade, it’s not against the rules.”

“That’s not a real trade and you both know it!”

I discovered I was holding my breath when the humans quieted down and I let it out quite suddenly. Whatever was happening, they seemed distraught.

It was five minutes later when I could hear them again.

“You liar!”

“I didn’t lie.”

“You said you didn’t have any cards!”

“No, I said you weren’t getting any cards.”

“I rolled a seven, that means I get a card.”

“Then why didn’t you take one?”

The next sound was one of a human tackling another. I also heard something falling or breaking. I wasn’t sure. I knew I needed help.

I ran to get the Captain. He’s the only one the humans would listen to when they’re upset. It took some convincing to get him to follow me, but he finally unlocked the door.

It swung open to reveal five humans at a table, cards in hand, and a hexagonal board game on the table. I was confused.

“Derek, how is game night going?” Captain asked.

“Be better if Rosa would stop cheating with Joey,” Derek grumbled.

“I’m not the one who tossed the board to the ground like a toddler,” Rosa replied smugly.

“But, but I heard-“

“Let the humans have their fun. Game night is one of the few harmless activities they have,” the captain interrupted.

He shut the door, and sent me away. I went to bed dumbfounded at how violent the humans words were, and yet how calm they appeared at the table. Game night must be quite the ordeal.

Obi-Wan giving his Eeopie a treat everyday.

Obi-Wan buying back his stolen part and joking about having it cleaned but not getting mad and paying for it anyway.

Obi-Wan saving up his money to buy little Luke a toy starship.

Obi-Wan giving the clone trooper vet money

Obi-Wan buying Leia fun gloves even though they're on the run.

Obi-Wan realizing Leia is attached to the droid and instantly changing his tune.

BUT ALSO

The Jedi saving the Bartender.

Owen staying silent.

The girl giving Obi-Wan free spice.

Haja not only sending Obi-Wan to a ship to escape but also facing down an Inquisitor.

IS THIS SHOW ABOUT KINDNESS? I'M SO HAPPY.

A human and an alien meet at a single parent's support group. The human is caring for their now deceased partner's child, both aliens. The alien has adopted a human child. They'd planned to adopt the child together with a mate, but were, as humans put it, dumped the day after the adoption went through.

They share soft smiles and gentle looks from across the room at first. Then they bond over the complexities of interspecies families and child-raising over hot drinks like coffee and various kinds of tea. Without realizing it, they sit next to each other in the meetings. The alien's second set of tendrils wrap around the human's hand and arm. They have playdates with their children, and laugh as the two invent their own secret language, a combination of all the cosmic languages they know, and some they just made up.

One day, the two children run up to their parents. The human child is holding a ring made of grass and twigs. The alien child, a crown of wildflowers.

"Let's play wedding!" The human child says. "We'll read the books and you can get married!"

"It'll be official for once!" The alien child says.

The two parents are stunned. The alien parent takes the ring, and looks at the human parent.

"Would you like to?" They ask, their eyes full of hope. "Be my mate?"

The human parent takes the flower crown, the integral part of the culture around bondings in the alien's culture.

"I would love to," they say.

It was sad they had to stop going to the single parent's support group, but all their friends came to the two weddings they had. It was the new beginning they all deserved.

I love how he has no fear-

He just fuckin stares down Krell

And this, ladies, gentlemen, and my nonbinary folks, is why he's an Arc Trooper

he definitely was thinking about shooting him right then and there-

@same-heart-same-blood

Humans are weird: Nerf Wars

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

Alien: Friend human, why do you keep that plastic ballistic toy beside your desk? Human: *Hefts nerf pistol* I was unprepared once…..never again. ——————————– Alien: Does everyone have these plastic ballistic toys? Human: They do, but each department has their own favorite. Human: You can actually tell a person’s job depending on what nerf gun they have. Alien: Really? ——————————– Human: Most of the clerks and desk junkies have pistols. Alien: Why is that? Human: Most nerf wars often start here and they need to pivot quickly if they are in the middle of a task. ——————————— Human: Janitors use shotgun nerf guns and hide them in their carts. Human: They like sneaking up on people and shooting point blank. Alien: Isn’t that excessive? Human: They clean the bathrooms, their revenge is justified. ——————————– Human: The IT department are the most dangerous, you should avoid going near there in the middle of a nerf war. Alien: How dangerous can they be? Human: They like to booby trap everything. Alien: That doesn’t sound so bad. Human: You ever try to go to the bathroom only to set off a nerf grenade? Human: My body was covered in warts for weeks. ———————————- Alien: What kind of nerf guns do executives have? Human: Well, assuming they’re not total assholes, you’ll have one of two kinds of executives. Human: First ones are those that splurge on the giant rapid firing nerf guns that cost, like, $500. Alien: What’s the other type? Human: They buy nerf sniper rifles and take pot shots at people from across the office. Alien: Seems like you could all gang up on them. Human: If we they do they start firing us. Alien: That doesn’t sound fair. Human: Hence being assholes. ———————————- Alien: How does one start a nerf war? Human: Observe. Human: *Pulls out nerf pistol, shoots random officer worker.* Human 2: WTF? Human: Steve shot you. *Points at random other office worker* Human 2: *Pulls out pistol and shoots steve* Steve: *gets hit, roars, grabs nerf rifle and starts firing wildly* Office: *Everyone reaches for nerf gun and starts firing* Alien: How are you humans so easily triggered to violence? Human: *Pulls out pistol and shoots Alien* Alien: YOU SON OF A B- Alien: *Picks up human and throws him across office* ————————————- *Middle of office nerf war* Alien: *Dashes between cover* Alien: I need to get to the copy room! Human: You won’t make it ten feet! Human: *Points down towards copy room, sees deployed tripod with belt fed ammunition.* Alien: Where did that come from?! *Dodges stream of darts* Human: *Loads clip* Todd from accounting brought it up Alien: *Shouts from cover* That’s not fair Todd! Todd: Eat my dick! *Begins firing wildly* ————————————- Alien: Is there a reason a majority of nerf guns look like real firearms? Human: Oh that. Human: That’s just the military attempting to plant subliminal messages into children to get them to associate having fun with holding a gun, therefore making them more likely to enlist into the military. Alien: My gods, that’s awful! Human: I wouldn’t worry; lately it has about as much of a success rate as the military making video games for kids. Alien: Do they work? Human: They fail so badly they turn everyone who plays them into hippies. ————————————– Alien: Moring D- *Sees coworker* Alien: by the gods what is that!? Human: *Hefts giant rocket sized nerf* Human: I call it the “Pink Slip”. Alien: I don’t think they’ll let you use that inside. Human: Hence the name. —————————————- Alien: Isn’t this barbaric? Human: You should have seen it when we were using nerf swords and shields. Human: We built castle walls out of used soda cans for protection and drawbridges made out of sticky notes.

Fox has caf rants after every Galatic Senate meeting. His favorite senators and (mostly) him talk (rant) about how much they hate Palpatine. But it’s mainly just Fox downing 16 cups of caf while outlining even detail about what makes Palpatine the worst person to ever exist in the galaxy while the senators nod and agree. By the end, everyone’s convinced he’s going to leave the room and go shoot Palpatine on the spot, and to be honest, none of them would stop him. They might even come to watch the show

Cross and Tech are the siblings who give eachother the most shit let’s be real

Was a plo koon warmup initially as suggested by @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life when I encountered this dialogue idea from @totallycorrectjediorderquotes and it went overboard from there! The “Protocol” number is indeed a reference to something in star wars, so I’m curious to see if anyone figures it out!