Optimisticsouldeer - Untitled

"just put yourself out there" what if I scared. what then.

So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.

Clone Wars Headcannons

All over the place but yeah enjoy

Ahsoka will let her men test out pick up lines before shore leave and give them tips on how to better pick up girls

Ahsoka picked up her eye rolling habit from Wolffe

Fives and Echo refer to Rex as “oh captain my captain” (Rex is very annoyed)

Clone troopers sleep better when they cuddle up with someone

Anakin has given Ahsoka and many of his men heart attacks when he randomly removes his prosthetic hand

There are painted line of the Resolutes floor near the medical bays to mark how far troopers have made it when they attempt to escape the medics

This usually ends with the medics full body tackling their vod and occasionally their Jedi

Hardcase has the furthest mark with Fives very near behind him

Much to Wolffe’s dismay young animals love to imprint of him during campaigns, he says he hates it but Sinker once saw Wolffe carrying around a baby loth cat wrapped in one of his blankets

Rex is a natural blonde due to a mutation and I will die on this hill

Fox and Wolffe have the highest spice tolerance of their batch and their brothers are very concerned for them

Based on the scene in the Umbara arc where Tup is hanging onto the gunship handle with 2 hands, he is a very nervous flier

Ahsoka noticed that Tup was a nervous flier and now tries to get on the same ships as him to help keep him calm

The 501st has different tallies up throughout the barracks for random things like ‘how many times the general loses his lightsaber’, ‘best quotes for the week’, etc

Clone troopers speak mando’a, kaminoan, and basic fluently

Rex always wins arm wrestling contests, even against Anakin

Ahsoka learned how to play sabacc from the Wolf Pack and has been banned from playing in most 501st circles because she always wins

The CCs have the ability to sleep with their eyes open and Wolffe and Fox actively chose to do so to creep everyone else out

Cody has broken his wrists and his shins from fist fighting droids but he continues to do it

Many troopers in the 501st have also attempted to fist fight droids but quickly stopped when the medics refused to treat them

Anakin has also attempted to fist fight droids and damaged his cybernetic hand enough that he had to get a new one

Ahsoka purrs when she sleeps close to other people 

Hardcase almost cried when he first heard Ahsoka purr because he thought it was cutest damn thing

Capture the flag is the 501st’s favorite down time activity

Cody has hidden drugs in Obi-Wan’s tea to make him sleep which Obi-Wan was rather offended by but continued to accept all tea given to him by his commander

Ahsoka set up a projector in the rec room and on hyper space trips she plays holomovies so her men can be ‘cultured’ 

Ahsoka is good friends with Padme and Riyo Chuchi and regularly gets together with them for girls nights

Rex has gotten a tattoo while drunk but Cody is the only one that knows about it

Ahsoka found out when her men’s birthday or decanting days are and makes sure to wish them a happy birthday

Ponds, Bly, and Fox were very confused when they received a transmission from Rex, Cody, and Wolffe’s vod’ika wishing them a happy birthday

Sometimes i feel like younger queer kids are getting a bit to bold with openly talking to people they don’t know In The Context Of:

More than once i have had a younger/same age queer person come up to me in public settings and say something about “finding other gays” or clearly clocking me as nonbinary and I’m like :)))))))) hey buddy I’m here with my conservative parents can you fucking not out me :))))))))

Just say you like my outfit or hair and move on, fuck even tell me you like my shoelaces. Don’t call me gay and limp your wrist at me when you don’t even know me? Especially when there’s a bunch of ppl around?

:-(

(id in alt)

a lonely orchestra 🎻🎶 my piece for the @opflowerszine flower meanings below cut

Keep reading

spent all day yesterday reading about alex aster and lightlark and it's so funny that she has 'follow your dreams 🥰' in her bio when the only reason she got published was her enormous wealth and privilege and connections and she really thinks that 6 figure deals and 7 figure movie deals can happen to anyone else as long as they work hard not to mention the excessive level of bragging in her tiktoks that comes across as tone deaf

all this hype is completely manufactured, none of this is organic, and, as she keeps saying in the tiktoks, all it took was one tiktok to catapult her to stardom. she does not talk about her writing process or her characters or Anything about writing at all, it's just all about her success and how she was rejected 'countless times' before tiktok. which imo really goes to show you the kind of product you can expect. and reading excerpts from the book, maybe there's a reason she was rejected for so long

all this bragging and nothing to back it up with.... embarrassing.

the only video that matters

@ thesingulardave on tiktok

since yall wanted to know if hannibal went to super mega hell too 😔✌️✨

Part 1 -> here

inspo

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