I Have My Cat And My Blanket (god It's Really Starting To Be Long... It's Like My Torso Long!!)

no one talks about how annoying it is to have glasses and headphones on...

Like I have some new headphones (yay, I bought some Bose, such a great noise cancelling !), but I'm also starting to wear my glasses all the time (the right thing to do you could tell me and... yeah, absolutely). And so now, I have to chose between not having headaches because of noise around me, or having headaches because my glasses !! are pushing into my head when I'm wearing my headphones... Life sucks sometimes...

But the headphones are really great, I do recommend them to anyone who absolutely hates having noise around them while listening to music ! and they are really, really comfy.

Don't worry, I’ll always be with you

When people are just ✨mad✨

straight men are on something else

Quand quelqu'un est nouveau aux messages Tumblr.....

favorite word?

Hi, um... I'm a historian, but I hate antique history, but I love the word Peloponnese...

Oups ? Just got my paycheck, and was already planning on buying things there.... My limit was 160, SO IM GOOD! THEY CAN TAKE MY MONEY (they have so much of it... I have 2 hoodies, 2 t-shirts already, payed for 4 places in 2 different concerts.... Yeaaaaaaah)

Fire In These Hills

“Why are you like this ?”

I turn towards the voice.

“I don’t know. I never knew.” I sigh. “I guess I was always this way.” I hear them hum.

“But why ?”

I don’t know how to answer. Why am I the way I am ? That’s the question of my life. I’m insecure, I never know what I want, I don’t really understand other people. Yeah. I’m weird. And the worse ? I know that. And I know that people look at me weirdly because of it. But here I am. Still here, after 20 years of this.

“I don’t know.”

There’s no one with me. I know I’m imagining this voice. I know I’m trying to cope with everything going on in my life. I had to change everything. My friends. Where I live. How I live. So, I don’t have time to ask myself why. And yet, here we are. I’m imagining a voice to answer that very question. Right now, I just want to go back home, and let myself not think. Let myself be myself. But I can’t. I’m stuck here, and I’m sick. I can feel my body temperature rise. And I just want to go home…

“You must have a reason ?”

I sigh again. Do I ? Do I need a reason to be myself ? To be weird ? I don’t think so. But if I need to find one ? Well, I would say that it all came from my childhood. The way my parents treated me. Telling me they treated my brother and I the same way. What kind of bullshit is this ? Some big ones. They never treated us the same. Every time he’s sick, or hurt, or doesn’t like to do something ? Well, let strong and younger brother do the work, right ? Yeah well that only works for some time, before crumbling down.

“I told you. I don’t know.”

And that is true. I was always kind of like this. I could blame the ADHD, the autism. But in reality, I know it must actually be the anxiety.

“Are you sure ?”

I close my eyes. I know a part of it.

“I… I miss them. They’re not gone, but gone at the same time. They… They take so much out of me. I don’t know why, but they sometimes make me feel like I’m not worth it. That, maybe I’m not enough. Or maybe I’m too much. I put so much efforts. I put so much effort in everything. They know it. I feel so powerfully. And yet I am let yearning for scratch. Am I not worth a bit of effort ? Is our friendship this easily forgotten ?”

I start to feel my eyes water. There’s a fire in my soul now.

“Would you like more ?”

Would I like more ? I want more ! I need more ! I’m not just a kid who’s insecure now, I’m a young adult, constructing myself. I need my best friend around. Even if it’s just a few messages here and there. But I have to yearn for scratch. And I feel like I’m going to have enough of scratch.

“Of course I’d like more. I’d love more. I need more. But how could I be so selfish, right ?”

“I know.”

“I’m so tired. Can I please come home ?”

This feeling. I’m exhausted. But kind of in the good way. I am shaking like a leaf. Home. My home is the people I love. I feel at home with them.

“If you can. If they will let you.”

It’s true. I could come home to my friend. If they let me one day. If they open the door once more. I keep a sob. I won’t cry for something that might be nothing. I’m shaking so much. I can’t feel the world. I need my home. I need my friends. I know myself. I don’t trust myself.

But after everything you’re here with me still. Or at least I hope you’re still with me. I feel like I don’t know you anymore. I feel like we’re growing farther apart, when you were once my rock. I feel like I’m not strong enough to just suck it up as usual. I need you. I need my friend. I need my best friend.

“So why do I feel like they’ve abandoned me ?”

“I cannot tell you.”

Right. ‘cause that’s just the little voice in my head making me go through my emotions. I take a deep breath, still shaking. My body is so full of emotions. I can’t handle them. I don’t know how to handle them. That’s why I need my friends. That’s why it hurts so deeply.

I feel like I might wreck this home. Do I really want to let go of all those years ? Fuck no. Am I ready to wreck this home ? Fuck no. Will I have to ? Maybe. And that’s what hurts the most !

“I really just want to come home. I really just want to go home. But right now, I don’t know where home is.”

“You’ll find home where you need it.”

I know that. But I don’t want to. I want the comfort of my home. I want the comfort that my friend still wants to talk to me. I want the comfort I felt younger. I want the innocence of those quiet moments. I want to feel that again. Is that to much to ask for ? Am I really worth all that ? Everyone tells me that, yes I do. But am I strong enough to believe them ?

“I don’t think that I’m strong enough.”

“You’ll find the strength to face it. You’ve faced much more.”

Maybe. But maybe that’s my limit. Is it ? I don’t even know if I hope it is. I just want to come home. I think I’ve lost the will.

I'm watching the Sonic Movie with a friend...

So now, Tom is Chad. Just to say, that's not my idea 😂

Reading Justice League unlimited :

can we talk about the way they drew John Constantine ? Like, yeah, I know he's one of my DC blorbo, BUT STILL ????

Did they really had to draw him so well ?????? Hot damn

Batman Ninja : Let's talk about it

Oh man, I really need to write that rent. -just to say, i just finished watching it, it is currently 11:50pm, i am very tired. BUT !

I have issues with that movie.

First of all, what the fuck ???? What is this Feodal Japan ????

Ok, now that this history inacurracy is out, let me focus on the rest.

Why do they all sound so bland, except Joker and Harley Quinn (who laugh all the time, they should not me counted). Like ? Wtf ??? Batman voice has no depth, Red Robin is -in my opinion- to high, wtf is going on with Robin voice ??? The only ones that fit -still in my opinion, this all post is my opinion, but read 'till the end- are, as I said Joker, Harley Quinn, Nightwing and Red Hood. The rest ? Bland.

Next on the list : what did they do to Damian ?????? WHY IS HE LAUGHING LIKE THIS ??? WHERE DID THEY PUT HIM ?? He is the son of Batman -Bruce Wayne ! The dude who has so many issues with emotions !-, the grandson of Ra's Al Ghul -The Demon's Head, leader of the LoA !!-. Why. Is. He. Laughing. Like. An. Idiot. Everytime. We. See. Him ?? Like, ok, they put the fact that he likes animals, that fine, but the rest ? Sorry, but that's not Damian. We have a new Robin, and his identity is a true mistery to me.

Anyway : Mechas ??? REALLY ??? Yeah, JAPAN, we got it. -honnestly, it was kinda fun, but.... yeah, not for a Batman movie for me....

I have to think now, so it's becoming lesser problems. Maybe unpopular opinion, but the animation style isn't really my cup of tea... But I'm very picky about that so yeah...

Oh yeah ! Poison Ivy. In nearly all recent comics -that I read !-, she isn't really a villain. Yeah, she's no hero either. But a super villain who associates with Joker ? Yeah, not really. They could've taken Scarecrow though.

I think that's about all for the rent, Imma give my full opinion on the movie. It was honnestly pretty good, not rewatch material, but pretty good. Probably because I was really tired, but I enjoyed it. The moment with the monkey army ? put down my glasses and laughed. It's pretty fun, has a good message -Batman is so much more than his gadget and his technology damn it !-, so if you're a Batman fan ? Maybe give it a go. We have nearly the whole Batfamily, a thing you don't really find elsewhere (dcamu, my beloved, why do you not have Tim, Jason, Steph, Cass, Duke, AND IM FORGETTING SO MANY MORE !)

So yeah, maybe give it a go. And just so you know, there is a 2. I will watch it, probably tomorrow (maybe today, depending on when I'm actually posting this, probably in class tomorrow morining), and I'll probably give my opinion once again :)