If People Who Touch Or Poke Superman Can Make Impressions In His Skin (I Just Watched The Bath Scene

Solas, you absolute trash man. You goof. You dweeb.

See this? The lute in his hideout under the Lady of Glory statue? See what’s at the top there…?

This homeless loser bought a lute with his own fucking face on it. He wanted to get caught so fucking badly he walked into a store and either picked this shit out or worse, had it custom made. This’s the medieval equivalent of Vanilla Ice getting his own face tattooed on his back. I hate him.

(He’s one of my favorite fictional characters ever)

Okay, hear me out. The Lord of the Rings…but they’re allowed to use curse words…

“They have a fucking cave troll...”

“I cannot jump the distance! You’ll have to fucking toss me!”

“Merry! It’s Frodo fucking Baggins!”

“Gods damn it…a Balrog of fucking Morgoth.”

“Fool of a fucking Took.”

“Bitch, please. I am no man.”

“Peregrin Took, you little shit!”

“By nightfall, these hills will be crawling with fucking orcs.”

“I think I’ve fucking broken something.”

“Your bodyguard?” “His fucking gardener.”

“I would cut off your head, you little shit, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.”

“You’re late…you look fucking terrible.”

“And for you Frodo Baggins…Elrond’s father in a fucking bottle.”

“PO-FUCKING-TA-TOES!”

So...let’s talk about Hela, shall we?

We all know that she’s basically a version of Baldur. Odin’s first born, perfect golden son. The blessed child of Odin and Frigg, but I’m thinking Frigga in the MCU never would’ve allowed Hela to grow up the way she did...

My theory is that Hela is the daughter of Odin and Freya, who was likely Odin’s first wife in the MCU who died at some point before Hela was locked away and he met Frigga, etc. I think that Freya loved her “perfect daughter” so much that he cursed her the same way she did Baldur in Norse Mythology. Making him immune to all things with only a single loophole left out, being mistletoe.

Odin likely would’ve made up the loophole just in case, because he was obviously paranoid about everything down to his own children’s intentions. Though, because of his love for her, he chose mistletoe because of its poisonous nature. If he suspected any sign of madness, or she committed an atrocity, he could’ve just poisoned her food or drink and let her die peacefully in her sleep. A merciful death to spare himself the act of having to kill her with his own hands, but when she inevitably grew bloodthirsty, he still couldn’t kill his own child (just as he couldn’t kill Loki) and locked her away in a prison all her own (much like how Loki was locked away in Mythology with Sigyn protecting him from the venom dripping serpent.)

My thoughts on what might’ve happened to her if she were poisoned could go one of two ways. She either would’ve died as any human would, or the spell keeping her invulnerable would’ve been broken and she quite possibly would’ve reverted to the “perfect golden child” that Freya was trying to protect. Meaning, blonde like Odin with creamy skin rather than pale and quite possibly less insane, because she would finally be able to feel again. Pain, anguish, all of it. She’d be normal just like every other Asgardian for the first time since she was a small child and it would be quite the humbling shock to go from this:

To this:

Because of one teeny, tiny little plant probably mentioned in Human legend in the MCU by Odin as a warning, should she ever return/escape upon his death or for some other reason.

Just thought this might be an interesting idea for any of you out there trying to figure out how to write a Hela x Reader fic without getting stuck.

Burn...

[ Maccready disliked that ]

So…I had a dream after seeing this picture on Tumblr. I don’t usually remember my dreams, but damn, it was fucking emotional. So just imagine with me…share my pain…

***

Garrus storms into the Med Bay where you, innocent, Y/n Shepard are out cold, being rushed to the Main Fleet on the Normandy after saving the universe. Now you were the last Shepard…

“Kaidan! Where’s Y/n?!” Garrus shouts, Kaidan is standing by your side. You were a member of the crew, a Lieutenant like James…very close to everyone.

You had been there since the start. Supporting everyone, doing your best to help Shepard- your older brother- even going with him to Cerberus to stop the collectors when you found out he was alive. Even Jack and Javik liked you.

But things went badly on the final mission…

“Garrus, please-” Kaidan tried to speak, tears in his eyes.

“No!” Garrus cut him off. “Where is Shepard?! He has to be okay! He’s always okay!!!” Garrus shouted viciously.

“What could I do, Garrus?! She ran after Shepard! I got cut off from them! What could I have done?!?” Kaidan shouted back, truly wanting to know…because he didn’t.

Both of them cared about you, more than they would admit…now maybe never being able to get the chance. It killed them inside.

“He-…he’s not dead!” Garrus stammered before walking up and grabbing Kaidan by the shirt. “Y/n isn’t dying either! She won’t-…” Garrus couldn’t even function to get words out at that point, going to a low-toned, but heavy, loud and guttural growl. He was too frustrated to think straight.

“Y/n said so, Garrus! If I could have, I would have saved him. Shepard gave his life for the universe, we can’t-…we can’t be selfish…Y/n just lost the last of her family…” Kaidan said grimly, his voice trailing off in hurt.

“Selfish…? You wanna know what’s selfish…? The fact that you didn’t protect Y/n like we promised to do! No matter who she picked!” Garrus barked and Joker came walking in, hoping to check on you, EDI flying with autopilot.

He came just in time to jump between Garrus and Kaidan before they could lunge at each other, practically foaming at the mouths with rage.

“Guys! You’re gonna wake her up and she’ll be pissed! Now shut.up! Y/n wouldn’t want this-” Joker stopped talking when all three heard a small sob.

The room was silent enough for a pin to drop and echo…

They all looked to you. You lay on one of the metal tables, your hair a mess, pooled around your head, your armor was ruined, ash and blood smeared the right side of your face where you had hit the ground at one point. You held your right hand over your mouth, tears streaming from the corners of your eyes, staring up at the ceiling as you tried to muffle your own sobs of grief.

“Y/n…?” Kaidan asked.

You sniffled and gasped in pain when a hard sob came. “A-all of you…g-get out…” You whispered coarsely, trying to find your voice.

“What?” Garrus asked in shock.

You snapped. “I-I said: G-GET OUT!!!” You screamed, your biotics causing loose objects- tools, pens, medicine bottles, papers- to go flying about the room.

They didn’t hesitate, knowing that if they stayed, they were dead, or worse, your wounds would get worse…

They left you alone in your grief…for now…

***

My pain is horrible isn’t it? I had this dream a few weeks ago, suffering from the immense feels that I get from ME 3. I literally woke up that morning and wanted to apologize to those characters. FICTIONAL CHARACTERS!!! I cried…

It was not a good day after that ;-;

Poor kid (4mth old wire haired pointer) had absolutely no concept of time whenever she napped on her big brother (a 90lbs akita, aka living furnace) and she is now, as of a few days ago, 2yrs old

I love the genre of picture “animal that clearly just woke up from a fat nap”

I have so many and my sister listens! Don't know if I'd still be writing my novel without her. Love you, Dani!

When you're in a dormant fandom just sittin and watchin other fandoms float on by on the breeze of trash

Coming into a fandom late

What a beautiful, angry little noodle...

Literally gonna be my life

via Dorkly