LMFAOOOOO DUKE'S ONE 😭😭😭😭 Not Lying When I Say I Literally Burst Out Laughing

LMFAOOOOO DUKE'S ONE 😭😭😭😭 not lying when i say I literally burst out laughing

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

More Posts from Noazhere and Others

8 months ago
Naw Dude I Worked So Hard On This I'll Spam It Every Day If Its Necessary (lie Js Look At Them Theyre

Naw dude I worked so hard on this I'll spam it every day if its necessary (lie js look at them theyre so gay [one sided] your honor.)

Nah I Gotcha Ford Me Too, Me Too

Nah I gotcha Ford me too, me too

Nah I Gotcha Ford Me Too, Me Too

Make me happy and give me a like here on ig so I'll do more gravity falls related content 🗣


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3 months ago

i feel like a lot of Jason and Bruce's relationship can only be explained if you understand the depth of Jason's isolation while living with Bruce and the depths of codependency the dynamic fostered.

Unlike Jason's predecessor and his successors, Jason never had a superhero team. He wasn't deeply connected to the superhero community. He didn't really even have friends. His world was school, the manor, and Batman and Robin. Robin, being a piece of his identity and his first sense of belonging. Batman and Robin as a dynamic requires synchronicity and a lack of questioning. It's about doing what Batman says. Jason, who lived in constant fear of being abandoned again, or kicked out, did his damnedest to not step a toe out of line. Jason was looking for safety and a parent who loved him, and Bruce stepped into that role in a way Jason had never experienced before. (mind you, Bruce himself was dealing with the conflicts regarding his relationship with Dick and no longer have Dick's presence.)

When Bruce and Jason started to have tensions themselves over 'excessive force' and the Garzona's situation, that read to Jason like rejection. And rejection, in a codependent relationship is cause for severe alienation and isolation. Jason had zero people to turn to; and the single person he loved most in the world didn't trust him anymore. Bruce had ripped the little bit of emotional safety that Jason felt away. So Jason went to find a mother who might want him.

point is: Jason Todd can never leave Bruce Wayne. Not in the way his other siblings can. Bruce Wayne is the center of his universe, and the only person Jason ever fully trusted. Jason wrapped his identity into being loved by Bruce, into being the son of Bruce. Into being Batman's Robin. Which is why being replaced felt like confirmation of all of his worst fears. It's why nobody else seems to understand the depths of this betrayal the way Jason does. Jason thinks his relationship with Bruce is normal. He thinks that Tim has replaced Jason in this codependent bond. That Tim has somehow played the part better than Jason did.

It's why Red Hood can't ever move on without Bruce proving to him that he is worth killing the Joker for. It's why Jason keeps crawling back to the batfamily despite the constant cycle of abuse and conflict. Bruce is gravity, Bruce is the sun, and Jason's world revolves around him and what Bruce says about him. If Bruce says Jason isn't worth it, then he's not. If Bruce says Jason is, then he is. They're soOOoO "Love me like a god and I'll betray you like a man" "I bet on losing dogs" "i'm going to die in the universe you loved me in (before you decided you didn't)" "I was fifteen when you left and I have been fifteen ever since" "losing your faith in your parents feels like losing faith in your religion"

I Feel Like A Lot Of Jason And Bruce's Relationship Can Only Be Explained If You Understand The Depth

@prlssprfctn <- bless you for this panel <3

3 months ago

Some people are pointing out how out-of-touch Waid seems to be about social media in the new World's Finest: Teen Titans, but I would argue he’s not going far enough. This comic should be the spiritual successor to Bob "Leaping Lumpfish/Cool it Cats" Haney but for gen Z.

Here are some corrections I made to the first issue to make it more faithful to the original.

Some People Are Pointing Out How Out-of-touch Waid Seems To Be About Social Media In The New World's
Some People Are Pointing Out How Out-of-touch Waid Seems To Be About Social Media In The New World's

Some People Are Pointing Out How Out-of-touch Waid Seems To Be About Social Media In The New World's
Some People Are Pointing Out How Out-of-touch Waid Seems To Be About Social Media In The New World's
Some People Are Pointing Out How Out-of-touch Waid Seems To Be About Social Media In The New World's
Some People Are Pointing Out How Out-of-touch Waid Seems To Be About Social Media In The New World's
Some People Are Pointing Out How Out-of-touch Waid Seems To Be About Social Media In The New World's
11 months ago
Hey At The End A Friend Helped Me W The Issue... I Just Made Them Bigger And Thats All Haha. I Like How

Hey at the end a friend helped me w the issue... I just made them bigger and thats all haha. I like how it looks tho, hope u like it too


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2 months ago

hc that jason todd has an instagram/youtube/tiktok account called gatsbyreviews (named after jay gatsby) where he posts reviews of various fictional media (mostly books). thing is, he always gives the reviews in the tone of a pissed-off drill sergeant explaining something for the third time to a particularly bone-headed group of rookies. so even when the review is positive, he sounds like he's passionately defending it in court. he does all his videos in a hoodie and sunglasses, so his identity isn't clear (especially since any viewers who could have recognized him somehow would know he's, y'know, dead) but the visible scars on the lower half of his face are an endless source of intrigue to people in the comments. someone once asked how tall he was, and he responded with a video of him silently stacking up books until the pile matched his height, then standing next to the pile for several seconds before playing jenga with it and eventually knocking it over, as jenga usually ends up going. another youtuber uses the books to find jason's height (the guy in question is real, his name is shane fanx and he's known as the asian height guy) and when it's revealed that he's fucking 6'3 all his viewers start losing their minds. they talk more than ever about this massive, scarred man with the biteable thighs and passion for literature. he gains thousands of followers overnight, people are thirsting in his comments, and jason's just like "hey wtf have i gotten myself into"

on the bright side, he stops thinking he's the ugliest member of the family. after all, when hundreds or thousands of random people on the internet are thirsting over you without seeing your full face, it's hard to keep thinking you're hideous.


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3 months ago
I Know Its Been 5 Plus Years And Enough People Have Talked About This Enough But I Cannot Physically

i know its been 5 plus years and enough people have talked about this enough but i cannot physically refrain from clawing my eyes out every time i come across this panel. Truly one of the most ridiculous things tom king has ever written (and the list is huge). Like why is this character who is almost in his thirties comparing himself to his brothers who are atleast 5 to 12 years younger than him? Of all the things he could have an identity crisis about they actually made him lose his mind over what type of robin am I? Not parents dying in front of a whole ass audience or withstanding the demands of being the perfect soldier in batman's crusade or having to put up with the pressure of being a leader other heroes look up to or his friends and family dying all the time, and man i could go on and on. I assure you he is not losing any sleep over where he stands with a bunch of people he cares for very deeply and ultimately thinks of as kids.

6 months ago
image

“Are you here all night?” Jason asked, “or are you planning to, you know, be a human? I think those go home sometimes.”

High above Jason’s head, a swarm of bats entered the cave, winding among the stalactites and screeching a kind of garbled response.

Dick, however, said nothing. He remained bent over one of the long tables on the cavern floor, examining a map Jason could barely see from his own seat a short distance behind, ignoring Jason and his sarcasm both. 

Jason didn’t enjoy being ignored. 

Fine. 

“I have some tasks you could take over,” he suggested, in his least helpful voice, “if you’re in the market for an excuse to keep working. I know you make those sometimes.”

Nothing.

“I have some weapons to clean, if you want to do that. You could type out all my old cases, if that works, because I only have the originals and those are hard to work with.”

Still nothing.

“Take out the trash?” Jason tried. “Wash the dishes? I put a load of laundry in a couple of hours ago, but there’s a wool jacket in the mix, so be careful what you put in the dryer.”

image

Dick didn’t move. Jason was enjoying himself now.

“Write a sonnet? Map the White House?” Jason held up a finger Dick couldn’t see, like he had just remembered something interesting. “I think there’s a library on 8th that exploded a few days back, so if you could just grab the rubble from the street and rebuild it by hand, that would be great.”

No reaction. 

“Whatever,” said Jason, “I’m out of here. Get some sleep maybe? I know the whole work-to-outrun-despair routine is your ‘thing,’ or whatever, but it never looks good on you. Have you considered—”

Jason cut himself off as Dick finally turned away from the table. Looking him in the eye, Jason felt suddenly and inexplicably afraid. 

“Go on,” said Dick, quietly.

Seguir leyendo

5 months ago

obsessed with like, Jason who absolutely refuses to reconcile with the bats. he wants no part in that family and will not talk to them under any circumstances. but he's legally dead with no friends and sometimes he gets sick of being completely by himself and wants to have company. so.

Bruce: hey Alfred have you seen my-

*comes into kitchen to see Alfred calmly preparing dinner while Jason Todd, Killer Red Hood, silently does paperwork while sat on the corner of the kitchen counter*

Bruce:

Bruce: uh-

Tim, doing homework at the table: don't mention it. if you acknowledge him he'll leave. he just likes being around people sometimes.

the bats have to start treating him like a stray cat, letting him go to them and acting completely unbothered by his presence because if they even make eye contact with Jason he'll jump out the window and they 1. won't see him for a month and 2. will start to see a lot more murders cropping up around gotham.

eventually it gets to the point where Dick will come to dinner to see the rest of the family wordlessly ignoring the brick shithouse of a man who is just sat on the floor of the dining area reading a book and he has to just. take a breath and pretend Jason isn't there. calmly stepping around him without acknowledging him. Alfred will silently place a plate of food by the guys elbow while speaking to Damian about school. When they decide to move from the table to the tv room for a movie night none of them can even look around when they hear him eventually follow just to sit in the corner of this room instead.

Bruce: I'm concerned, this is abnormal for Jason. what if he's been drugged with something? or he's trying to gain sensitive information?

Damian: actually he used to do this a lot after he came out of the Lazarus pit. he liked to sit in and watch me train, and occasionally we'd find him sat by grandfathers feet while he ran meetings. Mother says it's important to let him settle, because it's likely that he's simply craving human intimacy on his own terms for once.

Bruce, crying: oh

Jason still refuses to say a word to any of them unless it's in costume, and even then it's the same old 'i'm not your son! i'm not one of you! fuck off!' shtick like normal. they just have to accept him sneaking into the house every now and then too.

one time Tim needs Red Hoods info on a case he's working and since Jason's been sat on the floor against the wall of the bat cave for the past 45 minutes just. staring into space and vibing. he risks sliding the file across the floor towards him before pointedly turning back to the batcomputer, the info he needs marked clearly. five minutes later it's wordlessly slid back, info filled out and Jason refusing to acknowledge Tim's existence again. it's the only way he'll communicate with them.

after a while it gets to the point where Jason will straight up go to bludhaven and break into Dicks apartment just to silently sit in the corner of the room and Be Around A Familiar Person. Tim comes back from his lunch brake at WE to find him sat on the edge of his desk, working through a case. They work in silence for the rest of the day and when Tim leaves Jason just follows. They get a batburger together but the second Tim slips up and asks how his day was he's off like a shot. Damian regularly eats lunch at school on the roof while Jason plays mario kart on a DSI next to him. Batman will be 4 hours into a solo stake out when civilian Jason will silently slide up next to him with a crossword. they never talk. Jason still makes it clear that he's pissed at Bruce. Bruce doesn't know what else to do but let him be and hope eventually, with enough time, things will progress even further.

Dick, whispering so Jason won't pick up on the fact that he's being perceived: are you sure this is normal

Damian: is anything about any of us normal

Tim: he's got a point. at least we know Jason's watching us. I did this shit all the time before I was Robin, and none of you ever noticed me.

Dick:

Tim: sometimes its comforting to be in the same room as people you're familiar with, even if you can't handle interacting with them.

Dick, crying: ok


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7 months ago

Yk what I find really funny?, the batfamily and danny phantom's crossovers fics, I fr don't know where did it come from, and I haven't give 'em a chance, but in general it's so hilarious this cracked colab lmfaoo

Can I just know,,, why?


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noazhere - Noazhere
Noazhere

I draw, sometimes — eng/esp/pt — they/he !! Commissions Open !!

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