Actual Conversation I Had With My Mom

hello everyone, god has tried to kill me once again, but as everyone knows dumbasses can’t die

only 10 minutes? i could go a whole 24 and more and let me tell you i’d be doing more than just surviving

Survive for 10 Minutes with a Werewolf.

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thank you so much! I didn’t realize at all, I appreciate you for letting me know! <3

I’m back from the dead and unfortunately did not receive head

lmao imagine being touch starved *i say bawling my fucking eyes out after being called ‘Superstar’*

i really just wanna be a goose and hiss at people and bite small children

I think I’m gonna start gaslighting people into thinking I’m a figment of their imagination then just disappear into the woods never to be seen again

I’m gonna start getting peoples numbers only for the purpose of taking random pictures of them and sending them to their phones they could be shitting they could be fucking they could be in the safety of their home, I don’t care I’m getting that picture and it IS going to be sent to them.

just remembered that time when i was like 5 or 6 when i told my babysitter i was allergic to peanut butter so none of the other kids could have it. this worked for like a year and a half before my mom caught out. (context: i hate peanuts and peanut butter with a passion)

when people piss me off i like to think to myself ‘you have no bitches, you have no life, you’re existence is full endless of strife. you’re also just a dick.’