People? Caring For Me? Loving Me? Sticking Around? Sounds Fake Must Be After Something

// Lolth shows up on my dash, and that fledgling Drizzt muse in my head immediately gets loud again. xD

CONCERNING NERE, THE ABOVE, AND THE UNDERDARK // @neredoesnotfail

Unless he has a very good reason to go about in the daytime--responsibilities or someone that he tends to be around who keeps a daytime schedule--Nere will absolutely become a nocturnal being if he stays Above following the events of the game as he decides that he thoroughly hates the sun and the brightness of daytime. Honestly, the sky in general quietly terrifies him the first time he's Above (and, y'know, in his right mind to where he can really pay attention to it). He's used to the "ceiling" of the Underdark, no matter how far up it may go. Being Above and there being just vast amounts of nothingness overhead is kind of a terrifying prospect. He absolutely ended up with some variation of agoraphobia and he was definitely feeling it for a while until he grows more accustomed to it. Even some time after the fact, it still occasionally catches him if he thinks about it. It isn't quite full-blown panic attack levels, but more of a slight tightness to chest and higher awareness sort of thing. [ And if the vast open nothingness of space overhead freaks him out, just imagine his reaction the first time the clouds open up in a total downpour. Drops falling from rocks overhead in the Underdark? Sure. Fine. Water POURING DOWN from the sky? Absolutely horrifying the first time it happened. ] He really never does get fully used to it---the weather, the general brightness, and, specifically, THE SUN---and I think, to some degree or other, he will always miss the Underdark, regardless of the pain and suffering he experienced there. Certainly, he reaches the conclusion that Lolth and the culture he grew up in are Not Great [it takes time, but when the difference of how he is treated is like the night to the day, it happens faster than one might expect, once he decides it's genuine], but the Underdark was and is still where he considers to be home. [ In the case of the self-contained verses and the story I'll never write, I do think that Asha's wonder at the stars makes an impression on him. He likes to hear her talk about the constellations and to tell the stories of them. If there's anything good about the sky, it's the stars, and that is about as far as he'll go. ] Best case scenario? Someone take him to the Arcane Tower and let him make a place for himself there. No bad memories like from Grymforge. Not even close to Menzoberranzan. And it certainly isn't like Lenore will be using it ever again. And he does still want to learn magic, so he would have plenty of space to do so, and, while he learns, the ability to protect against people who already use magic as well. It's really one of the only places in the Underdark that he might feel relatively safe.

I always forget what day it is and invariably find myself reminded to stay off the dash. 😂

Alright! Took some time tonight to move over my drow multimuse to a sideblog. In the process, I changed some of their names to better align with the stories that have developed and as well as with my growing understanding of drow within the greater d&d context.

@morethanthedarkness -> @hopefromthedark

[ I still have not decided if Drizzt is going to receive his own blog or if he'll be on that multi, but I'll definitely post one way or the other once I do know. ]

Here is another diatribe intended for my roleplay blog:

This is a small essay that I originally typed on this post, but I didn't want to bog down the actual dash game post, so here we go, with the points numbered for easier reference.

♜ WHICH CHESS PIECE ARE YOU? ♖

White Rook

You are a White Rook. (1) As a piece that can move inwards and outwards, you're a master of self-reflection. (2) You know what needs to be done and when to do it. (3) You're a protector, and would willingly take someone's place in danger in a heartbeat because you know you can handle the pressure. (4) But even castle walls crumble. For all your chivalry and fortitude, everything must come to an end. Will you be there to see the final stages of the war? Or will you have already been discarded in the battle?

To clarify, I answered this one as though it was after being freed from the Absolute and that had been traveling with a good-inclined group of adventurers for the events of the game. And all of this would absolutely apply, though one wouldn't think so, at first, but that will be for another post. I had started explaining here and it turned into a mini-essay.

As a piece that can move inwards and outwards, you're a master of self-reflection. When not delusional due to the influence of the Absolute, Nere is his own worst critic. He remembers everything he has ever done wrong or 'failed' in his entire life. He is extremely harsh with himself and even perceived failings. His whole insistence on "Nere. Does Not. Fail." boils down to him nearly having a meltdown over Trauma [ Within my own personal storyline, this is also because the last thing he remembers his older brother saying to him before he never saw him again was, "I'm sorry that I failed you." ].

You know what needs to be done and when to do it. He is a very logical and strategic person. Though I had to mess up his INT stat a bit for the companion version so his main stats [ STR, DEX, CON ] could be right, he is also quite intelligent, and he has used it to great effect to remain alive. My version of Nere--based upon his canon stats and feats--was essentially a gladiator prior to escaping from that life only to wind up a fighter for another group. He was definitely a Battle Master fighter, always using his brain in conjunction with his impressive strength and build.

You're a protector, and would willingly take someone's place in danger in a heartbeat because you know you can handle the pressure. This part probably seems the most questionable at face value, but consider it like this: To have been treated as he was for the entirety of his life... only to then be treated well by people who have absolutely no obligation to him? Who, by all rights, could have simply killed him and walked away, never having to think of him again? All of that [misplaced/misled] devotion previously given to the matriarchs and the Weaver, didn't just vanish. Were he to find people worthy of it, he would absolutely risk his life if it saved theirs. While he absolutely hated his circumstances within the society of Lolth-sworn and thought that he could be so much More, he is absolutely geared towards wholehearted, soul-crushing devotion, as he was still devoted to 'the Weaver' before the Absolute stole him away, despite everything he had suffered. And when the Absolute does get him, he is just as devoted to this 'new deity'. "I have been entrusted with a sacred mission. I cannot fail," he says if you tell him that he can report his own failures, clearly both proud that he had been given such a mission and prideful that someone would say he failed. And then this conversation can occur if you kill all of the duergar before freeing Nere [ hint: killing the duergar first is also how you save both the gnomes--aside from the one that is now cutscene locked to die who wasn't originally--as well as Nere ]: Tav: I was abducted by mind flayers. That was when I began to hear the Absolute. Nere, "I don't understand... I've been following those... wretched beasts?" If you CAST DETECT THOUGHTS you can get: It cannot be. Have I betrayed Lolth for an imposter? Tav: Your faith in Lolth faltered. It is not too late to reclaim it. Nere, genuinely sounding so disappointed in himself, "Was I so weak as to betray the Weaver? ... I will take word to the Order of Soul Spiders. They must know of the Absolute threat." You can also choose to convince him to abandon the Absolute and RUN. That's what I choose and it has, thus far, kept him from getting zombie-fied later. Tav: You don't have to. Run - abandon the Absolute. "Perhaps you're right.. Perhaps I should. Dying for a cause is one thing, but for a mindflayer? For filth like that? ... No. I owe you a debt, it seems. You've saved me from worse than the duergar. Take this - a personal blessing. I pray we don't meet again."

He is very committed, up to and including being willing to "die for a cause". That is how Lolth-sworn drow--particularly the males--are taught to be, and it is hard-wired. It would be a very difficult thing to change.

Really, the only difference from Lolth to the Absolute to the player party, is whether or not the people he would lay down his life for in the player party are worthy of it, unlike those who were the focus of his earlier devotion.

send 🛑 to clean blood off of my muse after they protected yours.

add + to reverse so receiver is the one cleaning blood off sender.

"I have no quarrel with any of her mercenary pets so long as they do not overstep their bounds—or presume to think that, because they are many and I am one, I would be easy prey that they might further their standing in the camp."

Of course, even as Nere stares across to where the drow mercenaries sit together within their own space, two of them glance his way as they whisper amongst themselves. He has no doubt that they are having a similar discussion about what they might do if he should try anything against them.

Such is the way of the Underdark.

Not that it matters to him now...

Whatever the mercenaries might choose when all is said and done, he may never return to the Underdark, no matter how his light-sensitive eyes might strenuously protest the damnable sunlight of the Above.

"... If it is an agreement of non-hostility that you seek from me, I give you my word that I shall not be the aggressor. However, if any should intend me harm, I shall not hesitate to put a permanent end to such ill-conceived endeavors."

{@neredoesnotfail liked for a short starter}

"If we cannot trust each other, we're dead, no matter what we choose." Their little group's most recent additions all seemed terribly suspicious of each other, but surely none of them were foolish enough to play the traitor's part, dooming themselves along with everyone else.

Headache and Migraines

Requested by anon!

"God, my head hurts."

"There's a vice around my skull."

"It feels like someone's sitting on my face. Not in a fun way."

"It's too bright in here, I need to lay down."

"I feel sick and dizzy, I'm sorry."

"Everything is spinning, I feel like I'm going to throw up."

"You cannot imagine how bad this feels."

"Of course I'm squinting, it's so bright in here."

"It's not just a headache, it's awful."

"Imagine a rope made of ice cubes tightening around your brain."

"It hurts so bad."

"Yes, I'm crying! I'm sorry! It hurts!"

"Can you hold me so I can't see anything?"

"Can you bring me a blanket?"

"I can't stand up, I'm too dizzy..."

"You look really pale, are you sure you're okay?"

"Alright, hey, let me - cover your eyes -"

"I'm going to turn the light on, is that okay..?"

"Lay down here, alright, just - rest."

"I never realised that it felt this bad..."

"This is what happens when you refuse to take care of yourself."

"Whoa, hey - okay - okay, let's get you lying down."

"You can't keep pushing through this."

"You barely look like you can stand."

"You're allowed to take a break, you know..."

me [coming to terms with a truth about myself]: hm..................................................... unfortunate

At the slur, the totally unabashed vitriol of the ignorant or perhaps the willfully stupid, Nere's own expression darkens as the sky before a storm, crimson eyes flashing dangerously as they narrow. Drawing up to his full height, he lowers his head to make a point of looking down at the other.

"You are the one who should show caution, fool. What-ever your alleged power, it would be a difficult feat indeed to cast your paltry spells with neither tongue nor hands."

LORROAKAN'S SELF-IMPORTANT expression darkened, hazel eyes narrowing.

"Careful, underelf," he hissed, his tone dripping with venom. The way he spat the word carried all the disdain he harbored for their kind ——cave-dwelling savages, as far as he was concerned. "Lest I decide to end your pitiful existence."

He raised his chin, arrogance shielding his ire. "...Consider yourself fortunate that we have need of you intact," he sneered, gesturing dismissively in the drow's direction. Taunting. Smug. "Deluded and, ah, confused as you are, there is still a chance — however slim — that you might prove useful."