Becoming An Adult Cheat Sheet!

i keep seeing misinformation about this, so: queerplatonic relationships do not have a set definition. the name comes from the idea that it's "queering" the platonic relationship, tailoring it to the individual relationships' own desires. it isn't necessarily romance lite, but it also isn't necessarily whatever definition you want to impose on it. the point of queering the platonic relationship is to break away from strict allonormative views on friendship, romance, and sex, not to make a new categorical box to fit in.

the answer to "what is a qpr?" is "whatever you want it to be." sometimes that is romance lite. sometimes it's a deeply committed friendship. sometimes it's friends who have a sexual relationship. sometimes it's based on an entirely different mode of attraction. sometimes it's fluid and impossible to put into words. it's whatever you want it to be. it's queer.

One of the bats has to go undercover as a patient of a particularly suspect new and upcoming therapist. Bruce already has a backstory fleshed out and a cover identity, but that's no fun now is it.

Dick: Okay, the bat council is now in session. First things first-

Steph: I'm the realest.

Jason: Shut the fuck up.

Dick: No, no arguing. We're here on a MISSION.

Tim: That's right, a very important mission.

Dick: One of us has to go undercover as Dr. Hoffman's patient. But why? Why are we seeking therapy?

Tim: Wrong answers only. If any of you get too real, Dick can and will find you a real therapist.

Dick: And Tim, no superhero related answers. Bernard's PowerPoint nights give you too much of an advantage.

Tim: You're just jealous I know that Batman is actually a tulpa.

Jason: You shut the fuck up too.

---

Dick: Okay, I'll go first to get the obvious answer out of the way. I'm going because I'm secretly Batman, BUT I'm not here about that. I just have incredibly selective amnesia and can't remember the code to the Batmobile.

Jason: Oh that one's good. Let me think.

Steph: Hoffman is a man, right?

Dick: Right.

Steph: Easy, I'll claim womanly problems. Maybe get prescribed a vibrator.

Tim: *wheezes*

Dick: Ok Gotham's in the dark ages of psychology but not THAT much.

Steph: Spoilsport. Fine, I'm Batman's long lost twin sister.

Duke: Come on, we can't all go to therapy because of Batman.

Jason: I don't know, I feel like all of us should go to therapy because of Batman.

Cass: I'll go because I'm Batman.

Jason: I'd vote for you.

Duke: I think I would go because Metropolis isn't real.

Tim: Like, the whole city is-

Duke: It's a conspiracy. The government wants us to think there's this wonderful city where nothing bad ever happens and an actual alien from space saves the day. Tries to make us buy into some utopian bullshit.

Tim: Hoffman's just going to drive you there.

Duke: Ha! He's not getting ME to a secondary location. He might be in on it.

Steph: Compelling, definitely compelling. I nominate Duke's for first place.

Jason: Don't jump the gun.

Tim: Yeah, you haven't heard ours.

Steph: Well? Let's hear it then.

Tim: I'm an alien spy, sent here to study humans. Only I'm not doing well because I was taken in by rich people and they act weirder than me. I want to know what it means to be human, but whenever I look around all I see is how to make a good margarita. It makes me... sad.

Steph: That's no good. We said wrong answers only.

Jason: Solid four out of ten.

Tim: Fuck off.

Jason: I think I would go because I was convinced I was the second coming of Jesus which is all fine and good, but my whole family is Jewish so it's making things a little awkward at the dinner table.

Steph: You did come back from the dead.

Jason: I did and I'll tell him that. Took a little longer than three days this time, though.

Tim: Okay, I'll be honest. Jason and Duke's are the best.

Dick: Hold on- Damian, do you have an answer?

Damian: Of course. And not one so foolish.

Duke: Well?

Damian: Well, my whole family is comprised of vigilantes and I'm under a lot of stress to be one as well and continue the family tradition. I will of course swear him to secrecy and avoid naming any vigilantes by name.

Dick: ...

Jason: This is what I'm talking about. This is exactly what I'm-

Dick: Yes, okay. Game's over. All of you are getting psych referrals in your inbox by the morning.

Steph: What about-

Dick: Duke won.

Barbara: So where's this dog I keep hearing so much about?

Dick: Oh, he's right here.

Wally:

Jason: That's a grown-ass man.

Dick: Yeah he's a little old but hey, who said you can't teach old dogs new tricks. Ready? Watch this. Speak.

Wally: 'Sup bro.

Dick: Good boy!

Kory: Yeah he just spoke English. That's a grown— that's an actual human being.

Dick: Yeah, yeah I guess he kinda does have like that human-like personality.

Jason: 'Cause it's a fucking dude.

Kyle: I feel like we're drastically overlooking the fact that this is just a guy on all fours that you... keep in your house? Or...?

Dick: He's actually a rescue. Did I mention that?

Barbara: What does that even mean in this context?

Dick: It's a shame. I found him out wandering the streets all by himself one night so I took him in.

Wally: I was walking to class one day and he just grabbed me.

Barbara: Okay, what's your name, dude?

Dick: I call him Snowball.

Wally: It's actually Wally.

Roy: Okay so this is like some type of kink thing?

Wally: No he genuinely thinks I'm a dog.

Kory: Okay, even then, why are YOU going along with this?

Wally: Free rent, free food.

Kory: Still, dude, that can't be—

Wally: 401k matching, pension plan, dental coverage.

Roy: You get dental coverage?

Wally: Let me tell you, my canines have never looked so good.

Kyle:

Barbara:

Kory:

Jason:

Roy: Meow.

Dick: Daddy's little kitten.

Jason, leaving: Okay, fuck that.

Despite it all, I can tell… you have a good heart. 

CW for Mentions of Sexual Assult

There is a part of Jason Todd’s violent streak that authors have always either totally missed or skimmed over when it comes to his original (Batman 1940-) Robin run and that is his very specific triggers revolving around sexual assult. Post-crisis Jason’s Robin run was vaguely 20 issues long (and Starlin didn’t like child sidekick characters so his involvement in those issues is limited) but there was a very clear character path Jason was on which is “good kid plagued by the past” which totally makes sense given his background.

In the whole run there are only two recallable outburst which are not sex assult related. The first against Two Face, when Jason found out his dad had been murdered (and Bruce hid it from him for over six months ouch) but by the end of the issue Jay had calmed down and saves Dent’s life in the end. The other I see referenced is the issue where he throws Scarecrow into his own fear toxin because he thought he should taste his own medicine which is a bit reckless, but rather than leaving him for the cops he takes him to the cave for treatment (I always viewed this outburst as more plot convient than a show of Jason’s recklessness essentially since Bruce does something similar later in the issue). But other than those literally all of Jason’s outbursts are against sexual predators.

We have Jason fighting a pimp who had been threatening a prostitute directly before this

Then in the dumpster slasher serial killer storyline (Someone every couple weeks is killing pretty blonde women and dumping them in dumpsters, Bruce struggles greatly with this case and it spans a couple issues) before Batman can even arrest the killer a woman (who’s sister was murdered) revenge kills the murder and we have this reaction from Jason

Then the most famous example of Jason (possibility) pushing a man to his death. That issue started out with Jay breaking into a penthouse apartment because he heard screaming and he finds a woman named Gloria whos been sexually assaulted by Felipe Garzonas. They take Gloria to the police station but won’t arrest Felipe because he has diplomatic immunity. Later they get Felipe on a drug charge so in retribution (specifically against Robin) he calls Gloria and threatens her right there in the police department. Jason rushes over to see if she’s okay but it was too late. Batman’s solution to this is getting Felipe deported back to his country but Jason doesn’t find that an adequate solution and goes after Felipe himself - Felipe falls to his death and we’re forever left to wonder if Jason pushed him or if he slipped and Jay just let him fall.

Directly after this is the Death in the Family storyline - which starts out with Jason jumping into breaking up a child porn operation before Batman’s ok (Batman was waiting for police backup for some reason idk) but he throws Jason the photographer

Basically it drives me crazy to hear about how wild, unpredictable, and crazy Robin Jason was by current authors because he wasn’t. He was basically the most predictable person who had very obvious triggers, and honesty it’s just another thing they missed about Jason’s character. Even if he isn’t a victim of assult (at least he’s never been confirmed to be one) his hatred and disgust of it is validating to victims (myself included). Robin Jason is relatable to not just assult victims but people with trauma who have trouble dealing with their trauma and to have that be disregarded as him being a bad egg is infuriating. Jason Todd is a hero. His Robin is a hero. But before he was a hero he was a victim and he understands that anger and desperation that comes with it. That is what I want to see from authors. I don’t want them to forget about these outbursts or turn them into something far worse because they think Jason is bad for this. I want to see it addressed and talked about. Jason is such an interesting character and his mindset is barely ever touched by cannon.

He isn’t Bruce and Dick his life wasn’t ruined by one single night, it was so many things, and it was never really good to start. He wasn’t them, he didn’t need a cape (at least not right then) he needed some kind therapy and help. Which Bruce realizes way too late.

If Jason’s Robin run hadn’t been cut short then who knows what could have happened. His story could have been about personal growth and over coming your demons but instead we got a dead kid and decades of slandering a really good story about mental health. Worst things worst as good as Jason’s triggers and reactions tell a story about him, I don’t even think Starlin did it on purpose. He wanted fans to hate Robin, and somehow beating up predators was his way of doing that. Even so I love Jay’s Robin run it’s cathartic (until the end then it just hurts) in a way, and I wish there was a focus on Jason and his unaddressed trauma rather than making him out to be something bad.

i need people to know that labels aren't mandatory.

Use all the microlabels you want. Go wild.

But at the same time, if you don't feel like going down that rabbit hole, just using the umbrella-term of whatever the hell you identify with is perfectly fine too. Some people don't want to be any more specific and that's totally valid :)

THE YELL I LET OUT. pov: u attempt to sneak ur gf in

Grief.

You ever see art of a character you love, and it's like, "You didn't make a bad piece but you didn't capture what makes this character themself."

Like, it's fine art, it looks nice or whatever, but that's NOT the character you love