Me:"What The Actual Fuck. WHY?!"

Bro I need someone like this for my talkative ass.

Me: Return it My mom: What?!- no I can't retu- Me: It is ugly. Where is it's tail? Why is it screaming? It stinky. Return it.

You are a siren, a rather young one. Today your mother, the leader of your pod, introduced an unfamiliar little squishy pink thing to you as your little sibling.

Me:BUT SHE HAS BIG EARS AND SHARP TEETH! I DON'T CARE THAT SHE'S A WOLF ! I CARE BECUASE YOU NEED FUCKING GLASSES!!

You’re pretty sure your brother’s wife is a talking wolf in a dress, but he simply refuses to believe you.

We shouldn't need stuff like this! We don't need to prove you are valid when you ARE valid! Who said you weren't?! I'LL KILL 'EM!!!!

REBLOG IF YOUR BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE FOR AROMANTIC PEOPLE AND IF YOU THINK THEY ARE VALID

I am Aromantic but i wanna see how ppl think we are valid

Me: Do you really want to know? Alien: YES! Me: Okay.... *starts to talk about things wrong with the human race* And that's only what I know! Alien: *to her commander* Commander.... please make a therapy session for the entire planet Earth...

“Remember, if you die in the simulation-” “Yeah, yeah, we know, you die in real life.” “What? No! You need to reset the simulation with this terminal! What is WRONG with you humans?!”

If I ever become over 100 years old and I'm not as iconic as these ladies, smack me

legends

You heard me.

“These specimens have been conditioned for contact. They’re safe. But if you see them in the wild, DO NOT approach. It’s very dangerous.” “Why? Are they aggressive?” “No, they’re extremely friendly and very playful. That’s why it’s dangerous.”

That kid is going places. And I wish to follow

"I wish I could.... But let me tell you this, not everyone tries to fit into that box. A lot of us are able to grow out of that box, and shove it somewhere else. Making sure, we don't ever fit in it again...."

“You humans confuse me. You try so very hard to be as boring as everybody else, and, when some gifted soul is born that has some small degree of uniqueness to it, you beat and break it until it fits into a dull little box that you can understand. Explain this to me, if you please.”

Me: Is it wearing my heels Demon: *nods* Me: FOR FUCKS SAKE! I JUST BOUGHT THOSE!

You wake up to find your sleep paralysis demon holding you tight in fear, tears in eyes. “There’s a monster in the closet”, it says.