My Mom: What Do You Have There.... Me Next To A New Born Dragon That's Almost As Tall As Me: *sipping

I feel like it fails and only makes him freak more people out

Me: .... I'm happy to have you back but.... WTF?!

You buried your poor pet a couple of weeks ago. One morning, as you walk out the front door - there it is, back from the dead, sitting on your doorstep - quite rotten, and impossibly alive. Rather, un-alive. It seems happy to see you.

Someone pay for her therapy. I believe she needs it

just realized i didn't put my wrapped here. erm im showing off

Ranger: Mikachu, we talked about this. Me: Bitch I grew up in America, I got fucking murder weapons everywhere.

“You have my sword” said the Ranger. “And my Bow” said the elf. “And my axe” said the dwarf. “And all of my guns” said the American.

This is me for real

Me: I'll get the contract ready...

You’re a demon. One day, you’re summoned into a living room, and an exhausted woman quickly rambles about needing to get to work and being unable to find a sitter before flying out the door. Now, you stand in your summoning circle, a toddler staring wide eyed at you.

Me: Rui sweetie, just go make some spider webs okay?

KNY Incorrect quotes#45 The Baby

Rui: Why does Y/n call you baby girl?*Looks at Kokushibo*

Kokushibo, blushing: We don't need to talk about this

Rui: And they call you their sugar baby?*Looks at Gyutaro*

Gyutaro, getting redder: K-kid please-

Rui*Looking at Muzan* And why do they call you puss-

Muzan, close to passing out: LET'S STOP TALKING PLEASE-

Rui:???

Rui gonna be curious about these funny nicknames...

yo gang ur likes r public (i dont really care just. yk 👍)

Just fixed it! And I swear to fucking god if you say anything about what you saw I will tell everyone in the girl's locker room you simp for fiction characters...... LOVE YOU BESTIE >30

OH GREAT RABBIT! TELL US! WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE US TO DO!!!

sorry guys this blog is officially run by my rabbit, he claimed it as his own along with my computer. goodbye.

. . . Guilty!!!!

reblog if you're a writer but would rather drink straight cyanide than show any of your family members your work