Me: *sees Them With Blood* Beasty #1: You Taught Us Well! Me: I JUST READ YOU A MURDER MYSTERY! I DIDN'T

We know for a fact he'd wear it and think it's awesome...

No thoughts. Just Ryusui in an outfit with hip holes

Not exactly what I had in mind but the vision is there. I just need the hip holes 🧍‍♀️

Me: Do you really want to know? Alien: YES! Me: Okay.... *starts to talk about things wrong with the human race* And that's only what I know! Alien: *to her commander* Commander.... please make a therapy session for the entire planet Earth...

“Remember, if you die in the simulation-” “Yeah, yeah, we know, you die in real life.” “What? No! You need to reset the simulation with this terminal! What is WRONG with you humans?!”

Depends on if it was Owl post with my letter from Hogwarts or not

what would you do if there were a post right in front of you

I'm guess it's your birthday?

I LOVE BIRTHDAYS

you were BORN and you made it through ANOTHER YEAR and I'm excited for you so I'm gonna give you a gift that I think you'll like and you're gonna eat something delicious!!!!!! like cake or spaghetti or whatever, you get to choose!!!! birthdays fucking rule!!!!!!!!!!!

It's the brand. This one is a "Lifesavers" I think. They do have holes in them usually but I can't clearly read the name

My mint at church tonight doesn't have a hole

Why?

𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎

*takes the clothes he hands me* "Gramps did you really have to wait that long? I mean I could've killed that thing years ago if you wanted me too" "Well my darling granddaughter, I just liked fooling everyone, so let me have that. Now, you know where the holy water is?"

"Yes Gramps. How much longer do I have before I have to get that demon out of you?" "About half an hour. Not talking for so many years made him a bit lazy, so he has to get ready again to control my body"

Your grandfather has been nonverbal all your life due to a stroke. When you are finally old enough to care for him, after everyone leaves he focuses on you and says “Finally, lets get started”

@chromeeeeeeeeee

LOOK AT THIS! XD

Most-used word in each US state.

My brain is so fucking confused...

I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside...

BITCH I'M TOUCHING

“These specimens have been conditioned for contact. They’re safe. But if you see them in the wild, DO NOT approach. It’s very dangerous.” “Why? Are they aggressive?” “No, they’re extremely friendly and very playful. That’s why it’s dangerous.”