To Anyone Who’s Still Carrying It

The majority of sexual harassment cases involve some kind of complication.

Maybe you dated the person, flirted with them, or had sex with them before. 

Maybe you knew or suspected that they had a history of being inappropriate with others. 

Maybe you’ve always looked up to this person, considered them a friend, a mentor, or someone who’s helped you a lot in the past. 

Maybe it’s happened more than once. 

Maybe when it happened you didn’t know how to react so you didn’t say anything. 

Maybe after it happened you acted overly nice to the person or reassured them it wasn’t a big deal. 

Maybe the person isn’t the kind of person we think a harasser is: they’re someone really respected in society or more attractive than you or physically smaller or female. So you or others have a hard time believing that person could hurt you. 

Maybe you really like the person for other reasons and feel torn about seeing them as someone who’s hurt you. 

It’s important to know that it’s not unusual if your situation feels more complicated.

In fact, that is the more common situation. 

You get punished twice — once for what happened, and again for how you react.

“So much of coming to terms with hard things from the past seems to be about believing our own accounts, having our memories confirmed by those who were there and honoured by those who weren’t.” — Sarah Polley, Run Towards the Danger

Say it with me now:

You owe your employer NOTHING.

How Abusive Workplaces Mirror Abusive Relationships 

Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.

-Carl Jung

most people

who are harassed at work

never file a complaint.

not because they don’t care but

because they’re scared it’ll make

everything worse.