Most People Think Of Harassment As A “moment.” But It’s What Happens After — The Isolation, The

Fish outta water....

We need more walkable cities. I am so tired of my transportation turning to aquatic life. It’s so inconvenient.

The majority of sexual harassment cases involve some kind of complication.

Maybe you dated the person, flirted with them, or had sex with them before. 

Maybe you knew or suspected that they had a history of being inappropriate with others. 

Maybe you’ve always looked up to this person, considered them a friend, a mentor, or someone who’s helped you a lot in the past. 

Maybe it’s happened more than once. 

Maybe when it happened you didn’t know how to react so you didn’t say anything. 

Maybe after it happened you acted overly nice to the person or reassured them it wasn’t a big deal. 

Maybe the person isn’t the kind of person we think a harasser is: they’re someone really respected in society or more attractive than you or physically smaller or female. So you or others have a hard time believing that person could hurt you. 

Maybe you really like the person for other reasons and feel torn about seeing them as someone who’s hurt you. 

It’s important to know that it’s not unusual if your situation feels more complicated.

In fact, that is the more common situation. 

“You’re overreacting.” Me, about to liberate the galaxy AND the breakroom.

You’re not weak for staying silent. You’re calculating risk in a world that punishes honesty.

If you're considering going public read this.

It wasn't a secret. It was a system.

Tree swallows.

Birds around New York city. 1942.

Internet Archive

born in the wrong skin, not wrong for me. wrong for them. targets, not flesh.

Career change (nervous breakdown optional)

Feels like a Friday post. But you can on Saturday too if you want.

Either way, you want to chase the hat.

NGL leaving my job after was terrifying.

No backup plan and no health benefits. Just me, a spiked nervous system, a trashcan LinkedIn bio I abandoned circa 2017 with honours.

I spent the first two weeks crying, I did that. Then reorganizing my fridge, using a lot of Windex around the house, checking my email like a raccoon checking dumpster locks. Nothing came. And sigh.

No word from HR. But the world didn’t end. My old boss didn’t send an apology or even a passive-aggressive emoji. Just hot red radish silencio ad absurdum. For a while.

And then something weird happened.

I started sleeping again. My shoulders unclenched for the first time in six years. One day I laughed. Can you / I believe it? Like really laughed. And it was not a coping mechanism sliding into an entropic spat of sob sobs.

It turns out walking away from a place that gaslights you into thinking you were the problem can be the best career move you have ever made.

I’m still broke and scared and still always figuring it out. But at least now when I cry, it’s not because I’m being slowly turned into spirals of flesh-coloured chaff in the old pencil grinder gig 'conomy, know what I mean?

Anyways, freedom’s weird. I think I want to hesitatingly and forcefully recommend it.

Some people won’t believe you until you break. Break anyway, if you need to. You don’t owe anyone your composure.

"...if you're feeling blue and blue is you

that's no thing at all to run from or to..."

-someone smart

Stars in full bloom.

Occasionally you may also just need to lick a 9V to jolt yourself out of the funk.