ME

HELP @yandere-writer-momo WE ARE WATCHING TANGLED AND I CAN’T HELP BUT BE REMINDED OF ONE OF MY FAVORITE FICS BY YOU. I’m dying XD. Ps: ITS A SING-A-LONG I’m dying lol.

When you’re at the beginning of coloring your art but you remember that the customer asked for a full body shot

Er… well..

This post got another note so you know the drill!

”Well maybe if you had accepted my confession, all of these people wouldn’t have had to die.”

Found this on https://www.tumblr.com/multiglory18 ! Day 1 - Favorite anime opening song

Hmmm. I think my favorite anime opening is from Death Note season 1. The intro starts very strong, and hooks you. Plus it’s very catchy along with graphics that don’t have an excess amount of color that would burn your eyes out. It also mellows out then builds up again, and is a very danceable song.

Ps: Working on a yandere back rooms monster that may not be done today cause I have family over. I really appreciate all of y’all showing me such support for the content I post. Also, I finally set up my ask box lol, so thank you for sitting through me with that. I hope you have a good day and enjoy the eclipse!

I do apologize for not posting again yesterday. I ended up using my free time to watch all of the music freaks and was going to post this night, but my friends ended up going out to dinner with me so I stayed out till like 11 pm lol. So because I ended up not having time yesterday, I'll do another double post today! :D

Today, on Saturday April 13 2024, I'm going to tell you guys my favorite female anime character. Though I can't mention one without mentioning the other, and they both happen to be from the same band. Yes, band is right because the two happen to be Ena Shinonome and Kanade Yosikai from project sekai!

Growing up, I had my parents divorce at an early age of 5. I can't really remember much, but it still is a sort of trauma for me. But that's not the only trauma I have. At an age of 12, I ended up getting mental hospitalized, also causing me to miss Valentines day.

So you may be wondering, what does this all have to do with the two anime characters?

Well growing up, not only did I have mentally abusive parents but I had around five to six mental disorders. (Dont worry my mom has stopped and my dad and I are working on things.) I won't reveal them because I don't fell comfortable since I've already told you guys so much personal information, so please don't ask me as that won’t end up well.

Anyway, I’m still trying to find my gender and place in the world, but that's not the point.

One of my friends has called N25 (my favorite group) an emo band before and I think that's one of the worst insults you could give them.

All of them have very meaningful and lore built backgrounds even though I may not have a full understanding of Mizukis.

But, my adoration for Kanade came before Ena actually.

It's very obvious that she's with depression, but she still tries very hard to get past it. Her work for a song to save Mafuyuu is honestly heartwarming. Throughout the story she shows strength and even in the story called “(something) discord”, she fights to save Mafuyuu so N25 doesn't lose her forever.

Her strength has been an inspiration for me, since I was hospitalized for being suicidal and self harming. During that time, I couldn't see my family which was honestly one of the biggest wounds someone could inflict on me. Sometimes I feel like her songs are meant to save me too.

Even though she doesn't actually “write” the songs because they're all covers, all of the songs are imbeded with deep lyrics. The one I think I can relate to most is “Bitter Choco Decoration” sung by everyone in Nightcord. Though the whole band is in a deep spot in my heart, because there songs are something I can grasp onto and they give me hope and perseverance to continue living.

And even when they're all not doing deep things and just hanging out, its still fun to watch there silly antics. Ena and Mizukis banter are fun to watch, it's nice to see Mafuyuu getting a much needed break, and overall there group interactions.

Plus Kanade is really pretty. (Looks are always a contrubiter to my simp qualifications lol.)

Now to Ena. Kanade isn't the only one whos strength inspires me. For example, some of my favorite events have these Ena cards:

(Idk this event :’))

On this black canvas I paint.

Also, I love the event where she teaches Honami how-to draw and paint.

Lets start with the first event that I don't remember, but it's one where Mizuki is the main person you follow. The picture is from where they talk on the rooftop, and Ena tells Mizuki that she can vent to her when she's ready, and that Ena won't push her. To me this shows how kind Ena is because she's demonstrating that she's here for Mizuki. She went up to the rooftop, and didn't stop in the story at all to support Mizuki, and made sure she knew she was supported and loved even if she didn’t feel like she could tell anyone. 

Even though there in highschool, this is an amazing amount of maturity. It sure how kind she is, caring for her friend and being able to tell when something is off. My friend was wrong when she called N25 an emo band. What they really are is a group of friends who have gone through tough things, and they try to support each other throughout life. It's something one could really admire, and consider there family that isn't there by-blood-related-family.

Now the one where Ena teaches Honami how to paint is registered in my favorite stories. It's on the light-hearted side, where you can see Honami, Ena, and Emu, hangout and see there fun and warm-hearted interactions. 

Through the storyline you can see Honamis insecurity with her art, and anxiousness to painting on the wall of a kindergarten. It's a fear I can understand, as every human is worried if being made fun of, yet even though Honami is a stranger, Ena agrees to help her out and even meet in person.

Throughout helping Honami at Emus house, Ena is worried about changing Honamis art style because everyone paints in a different way. It's because beauty and art has its own style, and she doesn't want to change here because it's unique. So instead, she teaches her how to assemble basic shapes into animals and it works, but when Ena goes home, she still wonders if that was the right thing to do.

This shows how much she appreciates others things, even if something may not look understandable from first glance. And I say first glance because she ends up looking at it more, and eventually makes out Honamis drawing of what she first sent to Ena - an elephant. 

So when Emu and Honami are finally painting the kindergarten wall, Ena rushes back over just when Honami is finding a girl getting upset for being bullied for having the same style of art that Honami had. So Ena walks over to the girl and points out the parts of the animal to the others, and even suggests things the girl can add.

She also encourages Honami to draw how she normally does, because now she sees that it isn't just blobs of paint or whatever, it's something if you squint hard at it. So even though the kids laugh at Honami, Ena continues to encourage it and even paints on the wall with everyone!

This shows how she encourages people and helps defend others. This adds even more qualities to the other kind type of person she is. But that isn't the main reasons why she has a deep place in my heart. 

It's a reccouring thing where Ena tries to encourage Mafuyuu to break free or stand up against her mom, providing Mafuyuu a bit of strongwill. I've gone back into the log and even screenshoted some of her quotes to Mafuyuu, because they were really inspirational to me. Especially since even though my friends say I'm like Mizuki, I feel like Mafuyuu sometimes. Her quotes help me feel like no everything is lost, and that there's hope yet, just like Nightcords songs.

Also in the event “this black canvas I paint” I feel really bad for Ena. She is trying to be like her dad who's a famous artist but he's said things like “you'll never be a great artist” and what not that brings her spirits down. Hearing that from a parent can be extremely hurtful, especially since she has a really harsh art teacher. So harsh in fact that she gave up, but she eventually does gi back because she wants to get better at art.

And her going back eventually produces the card where she's crying in the classroom, one that makes me feel sad for her every time I look at it. Though she continues and eventually her art teacher takes her aside and tells her that she actually has a really good talent for art, and that she's always welcome.

Despite the pain and people telling her no, she continues on being persistence and pursuing her dreams. It's an admirable trait, and I feel that her and I are the same in a way. Both trying to improve and worrying about our art, even getting some harsh feedback that brings our spirits down. After all, my dad is one of those brutally honest people, and there are many times in my life where I wish that I had Ena and Kanades bravery.

They both are strong and beautiful women despite there circumstances, helping each other and friends and pushing forward on steadfast resolves. They both and their songs have set many foundations for parts of me to build on, and have been inspirations and things for me to cling onto when I'm in a bad mood. I truly do not have enough words on how I appreciate both, and will continue to love them until the day I die. These reasons are why that if you ever seen my profile on colorful stage, I not only have both an Ena and Kanade card in my main party, but also there fan and partner titles in my status. I wish both of them as much blessings as they've given me <3.

*Cough cough.* Everyone ignore how long that was and I'm going to move on to question six, asking me what anime I've watched that in ashamed I enjoyed. 

Honestly, there isn't really any. There are certainly some games I've enjoyed that I'm ashamed to admit that I had, but if I had to say an anime, I'd say No Game No Life. I like it because I also want to live in a game world like they do, but am ashamed because the anime also contains nudity and sexual stuff sometimes.

I even have a memory where I brought a book from the series to school where I didn't look through the photos, and oh boy did I regret it. And I still do today, so much so that I'm never bringing it to school again. 

I pulled it out to read and one of my friends caught the sight of a character um… not wearing clothes. So my friends quickly stole it and looked through the pages. It wasn't pretty but it was especially embarrassing since they were loud enough to let the whole class know.

And let's just say, naked wolf man is a joke thats been stuck against me for a while. And that I've also learned an important lesson to check books before I go to school. Never again will something like that happen. Hopefully.

Coming to terms with the fact that your kid has a Death Note obsession is when you open the door to your kids room and see them wearing a Light Yagami wig, reading the Death Note musical script, and with a Light Yagami cutout in the background and you continue to speak to them normally reminding them to get there medicine. Meanwhile you question nothing because you know that that’s what they’ve been internalizing this whole time.

-Once you’re gone you’re lost forever_

     ₊๋ chapter two-࣭🎀

I woke up, feeling drowsy yet… purified. The mattress pressed against my back reminded me that I was in my room, and not falling. How I felt before I woke up and returned to reality.

I pressed fingers to my temple, trying to regain my sense of touch as I tried to repeat the words he said. I parted my lips and softly uttered them to the air, as if I was a doctor telling someone the side effects of their medicine.

“One to numb the hurt, two to ease the pain. Three to clear my mind, forget all my hate…” I trailed off, rubbing my forehead. 

What did he say next? I thought, trying to reach into the depths of my brain. I had forgotten the rest, yet I only remembered one more sentence he had said.

“Several weeks ahead, you’ll be fine again.”

And that was all the promise I needed to convince myself to continue taking them. Yet even that, I wasn’t sure was 100% what I wanted.

I aroused myself from my groggy state, walking as best as I could to my desk. I only had one thought on my mind, that I needed to hide the pills. I swiped them up into my hands and began searching my room, looking for an ample spot to hide them in. After all, I was lucky enough that my parents hadn’t checked in on me during my… nap, if you could call me that.

I hid them under a pile of clothes in my closet, my hazy vision barely letting me do even that. I still felt tired, so I left my closet, leaving the door open which is quite not like me. I was only able to make it half way before I laid down on my floor, my eyelids slowly descending until I was trapped in a veil of darkness. 

My eyes slowly blinked open, and I found myself in my room, but something felt… off. I pinched the skin on my right arm, and ended up feeling no pain. A dream… I thought, removing my fingers from my arm as I looked up, noticing that my desk in the corner was covered in medicine. 

Each pill was different colors, promising something different. Tiny paper cards promised different results, whether it was to cure my anxiety, ease my longing for companionship, or even help increase my self esteem so I wouldn’t have such degrading thoughts about myself anymore.

I started walking to my desk, a small part nagging at me. Telling me not to go near them, because drugs would only make my life much, much worse.

Yet like I had said, it was a small part of me and ended up getting overpowered by my sheer willpower as I started to down the pills like I starved child at a banquet. My mind felt blank, only focusing on the task at hand as one pill slid down my throat, then another, then another, then another…

My skin felt cold and at this point I wasn’t sure if it was due to how dead inside I felt, or my bodies natural heating. All of a sudden the door to my room was busted open, and two people covered in white clothing holding a stretcher came over. I was placed on it but I continued to guild down the pills in my mouths and hands as my body felt light and numb.

I was soon taken outside and dumped into an ambulance, being sped away from my home. This dream was so vivid, I was questioning if this was a dream at all. After all, my body was so numb I probably couldn’t tell if this was real just from sensations alone. 

As I laid on the bed inside, my brain felt numb but on cloud nine, and I couldn’t stop giggling. Along with that, I couldn’t stop fantasizing about self-medicating. Thoughts that I never have had before.

Soon though, the vehicle came to a stop and the doors were opened as I was hauled out. I was shaking slightly, as if I was a shivering cat while I was pulled through the double doors and into a hospital. I was labeled as “emergency care” by the staff before I was gently placed on a cot, and they hurried away after. 

I could only laugh at the fact. Emergency care? Why? I was just fine! I laid there, still shaking as I heard machines beeping in the background. I was still clutching a pile of multi-colored pills as my head was placed against the pillow and I felt unaware even of my own body. But as my body was trembling, a pill slipped from my hands and fell off the cot, landing on the floor without a sound. 

No! I thought, my heart racing as a burst of energy was sent to my left arm so I could reach out and grab it. But even though my brain commanded my arm to go forward, it didn’t, and it ended up staying in place. No no no! Frantic thoughts pounded against my skull as I stared at the pill capsule on the floor with wide eyes. Not my blood! Not my lifeline! I desperately tried to break out of whatever was restraining me in place, but to no avail did I move.

All of a sudden I sat up suddenly, sweating and panting. I did a double take of my surroundings and realized I was back in my room, awake. I clutched my head in my hands, taking deep breaths to calm myself down. Yet it didn’t work, nothing did. 

So I went to my only relief, the pills. 

I stood up and walked with a sway back into my closet and dug up my pills from there hiding spot. I dropped a few in my mouth then swallowed. I felt my anxiety be eased, and I pushed the lid back down sealing the container then I left the closet again - this time closing the door behind me. 

I laid in bed and felt that magical feeling take me again and I fell into a deep sleep that would make you suspicious if I had told you I had just sprung away afraid to die earlier. And that’s how my days basically went, taking pills to ease the pain. Yet that was just day one, and it got ALOT worse after that…

Got 👏 my 👏 schedule 👏 back 👏 on 👏track 👏 with 👏 the 👏 anime 👏 challenge 👏 before 👏 my 👏 posting 👏 gets 👏 drop 👏 kicked 👏 again 👏

Might post some Yan content soon, cause I have no other ideas lol.

Out of all the thirty days today’s day specifically is my favorite sports anime. I’ve only gotten invested in Haikyuu!!! And heard a bit about Blue Lock. So, because of this, Haikyuu is my favorite sports anime.

But it isn’t totally because it’s pretty much the only anime I’ve ever seen thats sports-related. But like any good anime, they build interesting characters and have suspenseful moments. You can get really hooked onto the lore and the people, being inspired to go out and play volleyball just by reading it!

The banters are funny too and can really add depth to the characters. I also love how they educate you a bit on volleyball. I’ve always wanted to be a volleyball, and this helps me fuel my motivation too even though I don’t have a team or what not to play with, and I’ll likely forget them. 

Overall this is a great anime and I highly recommend watching it and all of the action.

Name: I’m not going to give anyone my real name, so just call me Chalen! (The name of my Tokyo Ghoul Oc.)

Gender: They/them/he/him

Fav color: Pink, purple, and maybe white and black?

Likes: Death Note, Komi can’t communicate, Villains Are Destined to Die, Project Sekai,Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, Outerplane, Epic Seven,Sword Art Online,etc.

Hobbies: Writing, mindlessly scrolling Tumblr 😃, grinding in games like Project Sekai, and art.

Hi I’m Chalen, someone with a notes app and a limited amount of storage that gets smaller each day.

I write a lot of fan-fictions, because I’m swimming deep in the 100000000 fandoms I’m in :D. Just like my fanfics, I also take asks and requests for my art as long as it’s not any of the following:

Stories:

Pedophila

Racism

Any sort of homophobia 

Discrimination of any kind

Incest

Art:

Nudity

^ These may be added too if I feel the need too! ^

This is a blog that will probably be full of many random things. For instance I’ve thought about going more into depth about the human and what drives us cause I’ve been reading books like that, or trying to answer the hard questions Death Note poses.

One of the most important parts of my blog is that:

⚠️ MY MESSAGES DO NOT WORK AT ALL⚠️ 

I appreciate seeing the little number go up by my messages, and imaging who may be messaging me, but it’s also sort of frustrating. I know that not all of you may not know about my technical issues with my messages, but it makes me sad that I can’t see what you guys are sending.

Instead, you guys are free to drop stuff off in my asks, and you have a 99% chance of responding to you! After all, I check Tumblr maybe with a minimum of once a day, so your ask has a high chance of being seen! (Seriously you could probably even send me your Starbucks order and I’d respond with something like “yum yum did you get me anything.)

I will do art and lore for your Oc too by the way! Like one of my favorite writers, @yandere-writer-momo says. “If there is a specific original character you have in your head that you’d like to come to life, just let me know. I’ll do my best to make it.”

This is the end of my intro for right now, and I hope you have a good day and know you are loved!

(Potential kofi here?)

Master list:

https://www.tumblr.com/magnificentdreamlandblizzard/746884220471869440/haha-i-wrote-a-long-story-while-bored-it?source=share   (A draft that got pretty long in my notes so I decided to post it)

Once you’re gone you’re lost forever:

https://www.tumblr.com/magnificentdreamlandblizzard/745248401755602944/once-youre-gone-youre-lost-forever?source=share     (1)

https://www.tumblr.com/magnificentdreamlandblizzard/745288124249341952/once-youre-gone-youre-lost-forever?source=share       (2)

https://www.tumblr.com/magnificentdreamlandblizzard/747052042724442112/once-youre-gone-youre-lost-forever?source=share (3)

https://www.tumblr.com/magnificentdreamlandblizzard/747052212866433024/once-youre-gone-youre-lost-forever?source=share (4 and might be changed)

@zzzenmui what art supplies do you use?

I want to smile at these days, because surely it’s meaningless here anyway