Sir Is Your Spine Ok.

This is some fanart I made for my favorite yandere writer, @yandere-writer-momo! She’s great at describing scenes so you can envision them and every time a story of hers end, I’m really upset cause I always want to read more! I don’t think my art does one of my favorite stories of hers, build-a-yandere justice, so I definitely recommend going to read all of her stories and following her!

The artwork is completely mine though, as I busted out some of my own art supplies that’s been buried away in a dark corner. I also used some of my friends markers, which surprised me by not bleeding through the page. You’re NOT allowed to claim this artwork or any other pieces that I’ve made as your own, as my hard work on this piece would be completely overlooked. You can always ask me if it’s ok to use my artwork and then, IF I GIVE PERMISSION, it’s allowed. Thank you for respecting my rules about my artwork.

@zzzenmui what art supplies do you use?

I want to smile at these days, because surely it’s meaningless here anyway

-Once you’re gone you’re lost forever_

     ₊๋ chapter two-࣭🎀

I woke up, feeling drowsy yet… purified. The mattress pressed against my back reminded me that I was in my room, and not falling. How I felt before I woke up and returned to reality.

I pressed fingers to my temple, trying to regain my sense of touch as I tried to repeat the words he said. I parted my lips and softly uttered them to the air, as if I was a doctor telling someone the side effects of their medicine.

“One to numb the hurt, two to ease the pain. Three to clear my mind, forget all my hate…” I trailed off, rubbing my forehead. 

What did he say next? I thought, trying to reach into the depths of my brain. I had forgotten the rest, yet I only remembered one more sentence he had said.

“Several weeks ahead, you’ll be fine again.”

And that was all the promise I needed to convince myself to continue taking them. Yet even that, I wasn’t sure was 100% what I wanted.

I aroused myself from my groggy state, walking as best as I could to my desk. I only had one thought on my mind, that I needed to hide the pills. I swiped them up into my hands and began searching my room, looking for an ample spot to hide them in. After all, I was lucky enough that my parents hadn’t checked in on me during my… nap, if you could call me that.

I hid them under a pile of clothes in my closet, my hazy vision barely letting me do even that. I still felt tired, so I left my closet, leaving the door open which is quite not like me. I was only able to make it half way before I laid down on my floor, my eyelids slowly descending until I was trapped in a veil of darkness. 

My eyes slowly blinked open, and I found myself in my room, but something felt… off. I pinched the skin on my right arm, and ended up feeling no pain. A dream… I thought, removing my fingers from my arm as I looked up, noticing that my desk in the corner was covered in medicine. 

Each pill was different colors, promising something different. Tiny paper cards promised different results, whether it was to cure my anxiety, ease my longing for companionship, or even help increase my self esteem so I wouldn’t have such degrading thoughts about myself anymore.

I started walking to my desk, a small part nagging at me. Telling me not to go near them, because drugs would only make my life much, much worse.

Yet like I had said, it was a small part of me and ended up getting overpowered by my sheer willpower as I started to down the pills like I starved child at a banquet. My mind felt blank, only focusing on the task at hand as one pill slid down my throat, then another, then another, then another…

My skin felt cold and at this point I wasn’t sure if it was due to how dead inside I felt, or my bodies natural heating. All of a sudden the door to my room was busted open, and two people covered in white clothing holding a stretcher came over. I was placed on it but I continued to guild down the pills in my mouths and hands as my body felt light and numb.

I was soon taken outside and dumped into an ambulance, being sped away from my home. This dream was so vivid, I was questioning if this was a dream at all. After all, my body was so numb I probably couldn’t tell if this was real just from sensations alone. 

As I laid on the bed inside, my brain felt numb but on cloud nine, and I couldn’t stop giggling. Along with that, I couldn’t stop fantasizing about self-medicating. Thoughts that I never have had before.

Soon though, the vehicle came to a stop and the doors were opened as I was hauled out. I was shaking slightly, as if I was a shivering cat while I was pulled through the double doors and into a hospital. I was labeled as “emergency care” by the staff before I was gently placed on a cot, and they hurried away after. 

I could only laugh at the fact. Emergency care? Why? I was just fine! I laid there, still shaking as I heard machines beeping in the background. I was still clutching a pile of multi-colored pills as my head was placed against the pillow and I felt unaware even of my own body. But as my body was trembling, a pill slipped from my hands and fell off the cot, landing on the floor without a sound. 

No! I thought, my heart racing as a burst of energy was sent to my left arm so I could reach out and grab it. But even though my brain commanded my arm to go forward, it didn’t, and it ended up staying in place. No no no! Frantic thoughts pounded against my skull as I stared at the pill capsule on the floor with wide eyes. Not my blood! Not my lifeline! I desperately tried to break out of whatever was restraining me in place, but to no avail did I move.

All of a sudden I sat up suddenly, sweating and panting. I did a double take of my surroundings and realized I was back in my room, awake. I clutched my head in my hands, taking deep breaths to calm myself down. Yet it didn’t work, nothing did. 

So I went to my only relief, the pills. 

I stood up and walked with a sway back into my closet and dug up my pills from there hiding spot. I dropped a few in my mouth then swallowed. I felt my anxiety be eased, and I pushed the lid back down sealing the container then I left the closet again - this time closing the door behind me. 

I laid in bed and felt that magical feeling take me again and I fell into a deep sleep that would make you suspicious if I had told you I had just sprung away afraid to die earlier. And that’s how my days basically went, taking pills to ease the pain. Yet that was just day one, and it got ALOT worse after that…

:/ (Me who has no idea what this means lmao)

 -Once you’re gone, you’re lost forever_

       🍮🎀𓈒 ˚ ⋆ chapter one ⋆ ˚ 𓈒🎀🍮

Walks were always an enjoyable thing for me. Not because I learned to love it while walking with my grandma and mom, (ok maybe a tiny bit). But because it gave me an excuse to not be home, and be in the dazzling nature of the woods. So instead of asking the teachers for D-slips, I can walk along a dirt trail as sunlight pours through the leaves.

The birds were chirping in the distance, a sound that I had a habit of hating in the morning. I continued walking until I saw a fallen log on the ground, something I’ve seen a million of times in the forest. But I caught a glimpse of motion in the corner of my right eye and I turned, only to meet the gaze of an old man.

He had a soft smile on his face and was waving at me. He had a beard and was holding a picnic basket in his right hand with a cane in his left hand. His skin was pale, probably because he didn’t get out much. After all, no retirement homes were located near here, making these walks more isolated then this trail already was.

I walked up to him, his gentle eyes blinking slowly as I got closer and closer. He didn’t seem threatening, and if he was, the worst damage he could do at this point was wack me with his cane. And I had almost broken all of my fingers at once before.

“Hello there young man,” The old man greeted me with his sunken smile, putting his arm down when I got close. “Could you spare me a second to share a meal with this old man?”

I figured it couldn’t hurt, he seemed sweet and polite even though he was a stranger. Plus, an old man couldn’t do much malicious things. After all he was too old to do something like lug a body, and he’d already lived out his life.

“Sure, I found an old log, so we can just eat there.” I told him, helping him make his way back down the direction I came from. “Here, right this way.”

Once he sat down on the log, the old man placed his picnic basket on the ground, grabbing the lid and flipping it open. Inside there was three sandwiches, some watermelon, apple slices, and some beef jerky. He grabbed a slice of watermelon and began nibbling on it as I grabbed a sandwich, the lettuce a bright green compared to the shades of grass below it.

Overall, the man and I had a nice conversation, even though he looked as old as oak. The food wasn’t that bad either, and our conversations made me forget about the anxiety I had of how my parents would react when I got home. Just for a little while though.

“You know, you’re a really kind person, but I can see it in your eyes. You’ve been hurt a couple times.” He randomly pointed out as we swatted away at the few bugs around us. “But I’ve got the perfect antidote to cure a heart of stone.” 

He reached into his clothing pocket and pulled out a blue bottle of medicine, containing tiny red pills. With the combinations of colors, they looked purple. But if you squinted hard enough to see past their color facade, you could see what was truly underneath. The color red.

“This stuff can do wonders, take you to nirvana, make you a better man,” The man said, his smile turning into a grin. He packed up his picnic basket and started walking off, but before he did he turned around and told me something.

“One to numb the hurt, two to ease the pain. Three to clear your mind, forget all the hate. Take as I advised, not more than prescribed. Several weeks ahead, you'll be fine again.” And that was his last words until he turned around and continued walking away, eventually going out of sight.

After that I went home feeling confused. Sure, the words that he had repeated were stuck in my head, but that didn’t explain much. What were these pills made out of? Why did he have these? Who was that man? And the more deadlier question…. what would happen if I overdosed?

I swung the front door open then proceeded to head to my room which was on the second floor. It was a modest room, containing nothing much past a bed and a white desk, except a few trinkets and odds and ends from friends.

I put the bottle on the smooth surface of my desk, glad to be in an isolated room away from my family. I flopped onto my bed, wishing I had some new manga to read as I stared at the ceiling. Walls of just straight words wasn’t something for me, especially since I was one of those learners better with pictures. Whatever those are called.

I also hated being alone with my own thoughts, which caused my thoughts to drift around different topics in my head until it landed on one. The medicine, if you could even call it that and not “creepy drugs and old man gave me.” I sat up on my bed, unable to detour my thoughts away from it since my curiosity had apparently been gnawing at me the whole time. I swung my feet off the bed, the carpeted floor brushing up against the bottom of my foot as I stood up fully, walking over to my desk before I plopped onto my desk chair.

I grabbed the bottle with my right hand, using my thumb to easily flick the lid open. It fit into the palm of my hand easily, like it was made for me. I raised it to my lip, only having one thought in that moment, “what do I have to lose?” Before I poured a few into my mouth, swallowing them easily even though I didn’t have water.

I closed the cap and put it back on the sturdy table before I leaned back on my chair. It felt as if I was touching the clouds, feeling their airy softness against my skin as they brushed by me. I felt like I was bathing in the sky, the pure blue becoming blankets that enveloped me, folding over and over again. My eyes started to close as I drifted off to sleep, my heart feeling at peace. Yet before I fell asleep I felt an odd sensation. One akin to riding on a magic broom - or a carpet ride that was taking me to somewhere unknown.

(Story inspired by six pills and demon mode)

not dead, just last weekend did a huge double show and have been staying up late for self care. So have an image :)

I noticed by art skill had been falling a bit so I tried drawing a cover of one of the books I had. I’m not sure if I’ll color it yet tbh.

Found this on https://www.tumblr.com/multiglory18 ! Day 1 - Favorite anime opening song

Hmmm. I think my favorite anime opening is from Death Note season 1. The intro starts very strong, and hooks you. Plus it’s very catchy along with graphics that don’t have an excess amount of color that would burn your eyes out. It also mellows out then builds up again, and is a very danceable song.

Ps: Working on a yandere back rooms monster that may not be done today cause I have family over. I really appreciate all of y’all showing me such support for the content I post. Also, I finally set up my ask box lol, so thank you for sitting through me with that. I hope you have a good day and enjoy the eclipse!

FINALLY

I have been making this illustration of an original card for my friend (whose name had been blacked out.) She’s from wonderlands x showtime, and I’m absolutely crying inside that I’m going to have to make another one of these but at least it wouldn’t have as many people anymore. Part of the reason why I haven’t been posting as much :’)

Funny prompt idea I thought of this morning.

[Character 1] and [character 2] are at [character 3’s house]. [Character 2] keeps thinking that [character 1] is sending them signs that they need help, causing [character 2] to over analyze everything [character 1] is doing. When really, [character 1] is just enjoy themself because [character 3] is their friend that they’re just hanging out with with [character 2]. Meanwhile though [character 2] is now set to “save” [character 1] from [character 3] and by authors choice may kill [character 3].

You can take this prompt to describe the reactions the characters have, or make it a silly haha moment. Also if you use this prompt in a story feel free to tag me in it because I’d love to see it and give advice!

Ps: Woke up to my activity having 24 notifications?!?! :0 Thank you guys so much I’m glad you like this silly little bean.

Continuing This Cause I Missed Yesterday

Hi guys! I’m sorry I didn’t do this yesterday, my account was glitching but now that I can get back in I’ll do two today to make up for yesterday, so lets go!

My earliest memory of watching anime has to be Sword Art Online, or as abbreviated, SAO. It has a lot of lore attached to it as they transfer to other games and what not, but the basis starts with the characters in a game called… you guessed it, Sword Art Online.

This game with 100,000 or 10,000 players ends up trapping them inside by the developer, Akihiko Kayaba. He traps them inside by making their headsets send electronic waves if they die, or the headset pulls off, killing them. It’s a great anime, and I highly recommend watching it.

Also along with it being my first anime, it’s also my first anime-joined-fandom, what a coincidence. It’s like my childhood show, and will always have a special place in my heart, and a small place in my wallet. (I buy many comics of it.)