Collected

I want...

I want to rail. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to yell out horrible things about him and make him feel as useless and broken as I do.

I want his arms around me. I want him to stroke my hair and tell me it will be okay. I want to believe it will be okay. I want to be safe. And secure.

But no one hears my wants as they fall directly into the blackness which was once my heart.

Time again to box it all up. Put it away. Pretend I don’t feel. Time to lose myself in mundanity. Hide from passion. Give up on hope.

I keep typing out all my feelings to you Then I remember I’m not allowed anymore

His possession wrapped around me like a warm coat, shielding me in a way it felt like only he could from my own frozen heart

Leap of Faith can be an expensive ride,  though well worth it I just wish I were worth the price   of admission to you

I miss you You miss me Yet we keep missing each other

Most of the time I don’t even know what today is Then certain dates roll around that I can’t forget

I am a believer Always wanting To believe In the good in people In something bigger That promises made Are promises kept

It took a long time And immeasurable disappointment To become this distrustful But I’m really not

On the inside I still believe In you

And I believe You will break my heart Again