I Find Bigots Very Interesting And When I'm Looking Through Their "arguments" They Almost Always Use

I find bigots very interesting and when I'm looking through their "arguments" they almost always use the same tactics.

After much research, I've found that these tactics can be broken down into a few simple, easy steps for maximum brain atrophy. But why should I hoard such information to myself?

Without further ado, here's my guide to arguing like an absolute moron!

Before anything else, first decide what your topic of the day will be. Gender and/or sexuality? Racial and/or social injustice? The more complex and nuanced the subject the better! Because...

Your next step is to completely simplify any opposing arguments to a few simple words and straw man arguments. Who cares about context or varied perspectives when you can just create the thing you want to argue with?

With that decided, you will now deploy a tried and true classic used by toddlers for centuries. Using your chosen straw man, pick a word within the arguement and ask for it's definition. When it is given (by yourself of course, not by someone else) then pick a word within the definition you have just given yourself and ask for another definition. You can do this up to five or six times depending on how experienced you are in bullshittery. This tactic works especially well when arguing against trangender and/or gender nonconforming people's rights to live.

An added benefit when doing this is that much like when a young child does this with their parent, anyone who was at first willing to interact with you will grow tired of reading your post and move on. This leaves your position unchallenged.

Speaking of defending yourself, try to throw some statistics into your arguement. Including data shows that you've done your research and adds credibility to your position. Can't find the data your looking for from credible resources and studies? Not a problem. Most people who will interact with your post won't have the correct information in their back pocket ready to use.

On the rare occasion that someone takes the time to find conflicting statistics and information to prove you wrong...what a nerd. Hit them with one of these "🤓" and move the fuck on.

Lastly, you must be prepared to defend yourself from the inevitable one or two comments who disagree with you once your opinion breaches containment. You'll be on your own here since the ten or so people who liked your post won't always come to your defense. Now, nothing screams "I'm not defensive and I can totally back up my claims!" like putting "lol", "lmao", and "😂" after every insult aimed at your attacker.

Another tactic that has the same results is taking the time to write out just how much you don't care about their opinion. Trust me, this works every time and asserts your dominance over the situation.

Bonus points are given throughout all of this if you're able to weave casual (or not so casual) slurs throughout your argument. You will be talking about very serous topics, so make sure you make it crystal clear to your audience where you stand. But, and this important, do NOT let anyone take a similar tone with you. You are a blameless victim to any attacks that come your way as a result to the things you post. All you're doing is stating an opinion, right? Surely nobody's getting HURT by the things you say, do, and believe.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this post. I promise that if you follow these instructions to the letter, you too will finally have the attention you so desperatly crave. As the old saying goes: "all publicity is good publicity", and no one knows that better than the average TERF, racist, misogynist, and overall disgusting and worthless human being.