Neglect Is Abuse. It Has The Same Effect On You. Being Last On The Priority List Of People “have Other

“I don’t miss you precisely. I miss having something to do on Friday nights, and someone’s arms to crawl into. I miss being a part of an us. And that’s an awful reason to hold on - being so afraid of being with yourself that you’ll give yourself to anyone else. We always hurt more than we healed and yet, I still find myself missing you. Loneliness takes us places that love doesn’t.”

— L.A.L. || Loneliness takes us places that love doesn’t

Just a friendly reminder that the brain of those who have suffered trauma is physically different than a “normal brain”. Trauma and abuse has a severe, long-term psychological and neurological effect. This is why you have difficulty concentrating, why you have trouble sleeping, why you can’t seem to stay focused, why you cry at the drop of the hat, why you’re not satisfied with yourself, why you think everything is your fault, why you think you’re toxic, why you’re full of regret and you don’t know why.

And get this. When you experienced this trauma, no matter how long it happened or how many times, your brain instantaneously made judgments about the world, your sense of self, and others. This is why you’re paranoid. Why you trust no one. Why you perceive things to exist that aren’t true in reality. It’s why people say you’re crazy, over-dramatic, or too emotional.

You may not heal in a day, but know this: it is not your fault. Your brain is responding to trauma.

“How to tell if somebody is genuinely interested in you: If you removed all of your effort from the equation would any communication remain between you? If not, there is nothing there and you deserve better.”

— Beau Taplin

ADVICE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY:

wait until it gets dark and make tea or coffee or hot chocolate, or if it’s too hot outside make yourself a healthy smoothie with your favorite things in it at any point during the day

put on your favorite underwear, it helps, trust me, it’s an old family secret (i’m not kidding)

if you have a pet, play the “how many things can i stick on you until you move or get mad” game (bonus points if they fall asleep, extra bonus points if a family member sees you and tells you to quit it, extra double ultra points if they join in)

rip a peice of paper into as many little pieces as you can

go to animeseason.com and click “random anime” until you see one that looks completely ridiculous (or actually good) and watch the first episode. repeat if it sucked or if you get bored halfway through

spend at least an hour making a music playlist for how you feel right now and save it for now or when you feel a bad mood rise again

curl up in bed and cover yourself with blankets and pillows and put in music and just lay there for a while (sleeping is also good)

eat everything

drink lots of water

it’s okay bad moods don’t last forever!!!!!! i promise!!! you will be yourself soon and there are people who love you very much, don’t be afraid to reach out to them

you are lovely

eat lots of bananas

“I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other; for those were some of the best times of my life.”

—

“I am yours, when the sun sets to the west and I am yours, when the birds migrate to the east. I am yours, when the winds of change go north and I am yours, when the feathers of hope glide south. I am yours, everywhere you choose to wander and I am yours when you’re lost in the crowd feeling sonder. I am yours.”

— j.d

It frustrates me so much that I’m not allowed to talk about my trauma’s to anyone from my family. Only because it puts them in bad lighting. But no shit they are being put in bad lighting. They are the reasons i have some of these trauma’s. They should have thought about this before traumatizing me, right? Not my fault that they look bad when I talk about the things they did to me that made me struggling with these trauma’s.

“You make me feel drunk. Warm, fuzzy, and a little sad.”

— L.S.

Don’t ever date someone with a mental illness if you’re not ready to work through it with them.

If the person you’re crushing on suffers from panic attacks- of any level- and you are there when they have one and you don’t want to “deal with it.”  Do them the favor and leave.  Because there will be days when they can’t breathe and if you won’t hold them or grab them a water or tell them its okay or whatever they need than you are not the one.  If you don’t take their attacks seriously, you are not the one.  This is a real illness.  It can ruin a persons life.  

If the person you’re starting to have feelings for suffers from anxiety, you need to expect that you’ll experience at least one, if not more, while you’re with them. These are not a joke.  We can not calm down.  And if we tell you we don’t know why were are anxious, we really don’t.  Were not lying.  We don’t know why our brain is like this but we can promise you that we are freaking the fuck out.  Ask us what we need.  Be there please.  If this is something you don’t want to “make time for” walk away from this now.

If the person you just started talking to suffers from depression, expect to hold them during breakdowns.  Sometimes we will be sad and cry a lot and not even know why. Certain days you might have to force us out of bed.  Other days you might find us sitting on the bathroom floor with a blank empty stare.  We feel empty.  We feel worthless.  We feel sad.  Pick us up, tell us were worthy, help us be a little bit better.  Don’t leave us anywhere alone, were really scared.  If you can’t handle this because its “too much pressure” please please don’t get involved with us, we don’t like feeling like were a burden.

If the person you’re thinking about dating deals with bipolar disorder, don’t just tell them to take medication.  Don’t tell us we have a problem when we’ve started an hour long fight over you saying a word wrong to us.  We want to stop yelling as well.  We don’t even know why were so mad, and now were crying, and you’re looking at us like were crazy.  Were not taking our medication because we want to be okay without it.  Just let us calm down then try and talk to us.  As hard as it seems for you, its even harder for us.  Were experiencing something because we think we want to but at the same time trying to stop it.  If we have a manic episode we will be very tired afterward and very upset.  Tell us you aren’t mad because what ever we said, we didn’t mean it, and we will overthink it forever.  We hate ourselves but don’t want you to hate us too.  If this is too crazy for you, we understand, just be our friend then.  We don’t want to take our shit out on you but we will, so if you are going to react really badly it’d be better to just not put yourself in the position. 

—–

These aren’t the only illnesses but these are the ones that I live with and suffer from on a daily basis.  It is so important that you help people through these things and stand with them 110%. Spread awareness of these things.

I want this.

I want us.

I want you.

Forever.