Anyone Else Get In That Place Where You Kinda Feel Like Crying But No Tears Are Coming Out, And Your

stop believing that you ran out of time to shape yourself into who you want to be! stop believing that its ruined! stop believing you don’t have potential! you are not a fixed being! you have endless opportunities to grow.

“I’m numb and I’m tired. Too much has happened today. I feel as if I’d been out in a pounding rain for forty-eight hours without an umbrella or a coat. I’m soaked to the skin with emotion.”

— Ray Bradbury

95% of my personality is worrying I do everything wrong and that I will inevitably be abandoned because my traumatised ass is too much and simultaneously not enough

have you ever been so lonely you could hardly function

For the TUMBLR NSFW PURGE

I’m pretty sure everyone knows what I’m talking about but Tumblr staff released an update saying that blogs flagged as nsfw will be banned on December 17th, 2018. Nudity, genetalia, or “"female presenting nipples”“ are all considered forms of posts that can get you banned. People are calling this the Tumblr purge and everyone is freaking out. Tumblr has been flagging accounts under the radar as well SO:

If you don’t know about your blog being flagged or are worried about someone else, if you go on this site postlimit.com you will be able to search your blog name to see if you’ve been flagged for being nsfw. Your icon will be blurred out and there is a section (that I highlighted in blue) that will tell you whether or not staff considers you nsfw. You can ask for an appeal, however at this point and considering how in the rules and guidelines ED related blogs are not allowed I would be careful. Tumblr staff might be drawn to your blog if you ask for an appeal and just might straight ban you before December 17th even hits. But, if you’re desperate and don’t care because you’ll be banned anyways, go ahead and try, it might be worth a shot.

Here is what you’ll find if you scroll down after typing in your blog name or someone else’s:

If your blog is marked to be banned by d17, your icon will be blurred and there will be a red ‘yes’ by the explicit section! However, remember you can appeal.

!!PLEASE REBLOG AND BOOST THIS POST FOR EVERYONE IN THE COMMUNITY! STAY SAFE AND MIGRATE!!!

As someone who has been living with severe suicidal ideation my entire life I wanna tell you all something, you don’t have to stay alive for yourself. People will say it’s a bad idea to live for external things because they’re temporary, and it’s true living for yourself is ideal but if you’re not to that point yet that’s ok too. 

I’ve lived for my dog for the past 4 years, before that I lived for my snakes, before that I lived for my cat. You can live for whatever needs you and whatever matters to you. Live for your best friend, live for your plants, live for your pets, live for your animal crossing town. Live for whatever keeps you alive and the day will come when you can live for yourself.

Neglect is abuse. It has the same effect on you. Being last on the priority list of people “have other things to worry about” is not how you grow up into an emotionally healthy person. You will accept being ignored and neglected because it’s whats expected of you. You will be grateful for crumbs of attention and seek for no more, no matter what. You will grow up dealing with every problem alone and learning to not reach out, not ask for help, not take away a second of someone’s precious time for your problems that surely couldn’t matter.

You learn to be quiet and invisible and to not show signs of pain. You learn to blame yourself for not speaking out, for suffering alone, as if you’re doing it on purpose. You learn to cope with being insignificant, because when you’re neglected, that’s a given. Surely, if you were of any importance, someone would care enough to notice, to talk to you, to see if anything’s wrong. To see if you’re drowning in depression and dissociating from the amount of pain you’re in. Surely, what you’re going thru would matter to someone.  

People who don’t care to give you attention are not people who love you and care for you. They don’t raise you, they don’t even learn who you are. And it’s only a matter of time before you fall into resignation and learn that being ignored and sent to the gates of hell to deal with demons all by yourself, is how your life will be. And the more dangerous part – if someone gives you predatory attention, if someone finds something they can use within you, something they can tear away for their own purposes – it will feel welcome, it will make you feel like finally, you’re good for something. Finally, someone is looking at you. You’ll welcome people who use and hurt you, because even that is better than to be completely and utterly abandoned and ignored by the world. Neglect will make you welcome abusers in your life, not only without caution, but with gratitude that even for a moment, you’re not feeling neglected anymore.

Can we please stop associating being a good person with how much you're willing to suffer in silence for other people? You can be a kind person and still say "no, I don't have the time/energy to help you with that." You can be a kind person and still say "this makes me uncomfortable, please stop." You can be a kind person and still say "I disagree and here's why." You can be kind and still say "I'm not okay with this." Being kind is about treating people with kindness and respect, not about being the human equivalent of a doormat!

“Now I know I’ve got a heart because it is breaking.”

—

L. Frank Baum