I Think That People Only Like Me When They’re Sad. I Listen. I’m Empathic. They Realize That I’m

Reblog if you've been offended by the words of your own parents.

I want to know if I’m the only one.

Dating when you’re borderline is like going through 8 breakups in one day and the other person doesn’t even know

real love is not like the poetry. it is not i love you spat down each other’s throats or finding a reason to live again because you found this one person. It is so much simpler than that. real love is telling them to go back to sleep because it is still early and you know they need it, even if you want them to be awake with you. It’s realizing it won’t always be easy but still choosing them every day and wanting to be the very best for them. that’s it, it’s not as deep as you think.

4am

whenever i say “i need constant reassurance” people always assume like okay, a couple times a few months, no bitch i mean like every hour of the day

“I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other; for those were some of the best times of my life.”

—

hey, it’s okay to be bitter.

bad things happened to you. you’re allowed to be bitter. you’re allowed to be angry. and you’re allowed to mourn–in whatever form that may take. it’s not wrong to be bitter. it’s not wrong to be bitter. 

feelings bitter does not make you a bad person.

moderation is important. you deserve to feel things, and you deserve to go through the grieving process. bitterness is unhealthy when we don’t know how to process it and move on. give yourself permission to feel ugly things, but keep in mind that this is just one step, and that ultimately its purpose is to allow you to move forward. it is easy to get lost in anger, but be careful not linger. you’re allowed to feel negative things, but please let it be as a stepping stone in your recovery, not a detour.

you owe it to yourself. 

you deserve recovery. you deserve good things.

As someone who has been living with severe suicidal ideation my entire life I wanna tell you all something, you don’t have to stay alive for yourself. People will say it’s a bad idea to live for external things because they’re temporary, and it’s true living for yourself is ideal but if you’re not to that point yet that’s ok too. 

I’ve lived for my dog for the past 4 years, before that I lived for my snakes, before that I lived for my cat. You can live for whatever needs you and whatever matters to you. Live for your best friend, live for your plants, live for your pets, live for your animal crossing town. Live for whatever keeps you alive and the day will come when you can live for yourself.

Sometimes I need everyone around me to validate that what I went through was in fact traumatic because I might feel like it wasn’t bad enough to still be so affected by it.

And that’s really fucked up.

“Nothing is harder than trying to find a reasonable answer to why my grades are falling. Nothing has been harder to me than trying to find a way to explain why I have no motivation. Don’t talk to me about challenging until you can sit in your room with everything you need to succeed but not feel the motivation to do any of it. I feel nothing and I don’t know how to stop it. Nothing has been harder for me than trying to force myself to care. I don’t know how to be what you want. I’m just trying to get through one day at a time. I can’t just change how I feel. I can’t just make it go away. It’s always going to be there. So I’m sorry I’m not succeeding. I’m sorry I’m not good enough. But you know what? I don’t think i ever will be. Because what you want is someone without scars and without pain. You want a daughter who doesn’t struggle and just does the right thing. That’s not me. I can’t just be perfect. I’m fighting this battle everyday to not put a blade to my skin, to not crash the car, to keep on living. But it’s not getting better and I dont know how to tell you in a way that you will understand”

— A second letter to my mom for the reasons why