Don’t Play With My Emotions

i hate looking ugly the first time i meet someone like wait i can do better than this i swear

*lightning strikes in front of me in public* 

a girl: that was so scary!! 

me: *shakes head* was just a cheap jump scare.. not true horror

driving past your old elementary school like

yall ever miss your own energy?? like damn wtf happened to me??

just discovered a neat trick. if you make brownies but dont cut them, you can eat the whole slab and say you only ate 1 brownie

life goal? glad you asked. i take up jogging. eventually i start running. day and night. nonstop grind until i hardly break a sweat. i train a little more each day until my stamina is at its maximum possible limit. i start uploading videos of myself running to youtube. people all over the world are mesmerized by my speed and talent. i catch the attention of usain bolt, the fastest runner in the world. he offers to train me, to unlock my full potential as a runner as i lack professional experience. once he starts training me, i learn the ropes of competitive professional running. under his guidance, i am unstoppable. i start entering in local tournaments and leave my competitors in the dust. i win tournament after tournament until i make it into the olympics. here’s where the twist comes in. i throw the race on purpose. i take dead last. after the olympics, i go back to running in regional and eventually national tournaments. i win again and again. finally, i make i to the olympics again. i throw the race again. i build up a reputation as a runner who thrives until she makes it to the olympics. i repeat this cycle of tournament > olympics several times. finally, once more, i make my way to the olympics. i’ve built up my reputation to the point that everyone knows who i am. all eyes are on me. finally, it’s my time to shine. as the gun goes off and the race begins, i naruto run to the finish line and take gold. this was all a lot funnier in my head.

Guy wanted me to make him a queen-size blanket.

Scultped model of the Spirited Away Bathhouse.

"At least you love me." I say to my pet as I hold them against my chest as they try to get away

🤔🤔🤔