People Keep Posting ‘what’s REALLY In Your Food’ Articles Like I’m Gonna Stop Eating Whatever

Me On Chopped

Judges: she's just, she's just shoving food into her jacket, she's literally just here to steal food,

Watch: George Takei sends a message in Spanish about how we can defeat Trump

Terry was born in a Papa Johns

A the barber shop

Barber: would like a haircut

Me: yes I would love A hair cut

Barber: haha classic joke

*barber then realizes my entire head of hair is just one single long peice of hair of wrapped around my noggin

Barber: y did u do this

Me: so I could make this post

Barber: you could've just said that you had but you didn't have to do it in real life

Me: but I've been working on this post for years

Here’s the orbital period of our solar system’s 8 major planets (how long it takes each to travel around the sun). Their size is to scale and their speed is accurate relative to Earth’s. The repetition of each GIF is proportional to their orbital period. Mercury takes less than 3 months to zoom around Sol, Neptune takes nearly 165 years.  

Bae: come over

Me: I can’t I’m raising scuttlebugs

Bae: I’m at QPU syncing speed

Me:

The moral of Rudolph the Red nose reindeer is that no one likes you unless you’re useful.