Who Needs Therapy When You Can Listen To I Wanna Get Better By The Bleachers 50 Times In A Row Am I Right

I always thought it was funny that your player character in Pokemon is 10 years old. Like, yeah, they’re “anime ten” where they look at least 18 yadda yadda, but they’re still ten.

Imagine the people in the Pokemon League. These are fully grown adults, right? They’ve trained their entire lives to be the best trainers in their country. They’re the best of the best. And then a ten year old walks in. A high and mighty four foot tall ten year old with a big smile on their face walks in. They’ve never even seen a tity. They don’t know where babies come from. They’re ten.

How did this ten year old get in to your arena? Did they wander in here by mistake? They say they’re here to battle you. Aww, how cute. This kid wants to fight the big league trainers, so they snuck in to fight you. That’s cute and funny. You’ll tell the others about this next lunch break. You decide to humor the kid and accept their challenge. You toss out your level 50 Tyranitar. You and this Pokemon have spent decades together, you trained for ages to get it to Level 50. You’re the best trainer in the country.

The kid reaches on their belt and tosses a Master Ball. Wait, what? A Master Ball? How did that kid get a Master Ball? Out of the master ball pops…

God.

God popped out of the Master Ball. 

The very same God Pokemon that controls the flow of space, that you go to church and pray to every Sunday. 

This ten year old kid just pulled out a Master Ball and threw God at you. God is, in fact, Level 73. 

God shoots Hyper Beam at your life-long partner Tyranitar, causing it to evaporate in to dust. He’s fainted in one hit. The kid yawns.

The kid wipes your entire party of Pokemon, the Pokemon you spent most of your adult life training and caring for. You are stunned. You ask the trainer how long they’ve been doing this. They say “I started a couple of days ago.”

This kid is ten. 

How to make a dramatic entrance.

“you look tired, are you???“  “no, im just ugly”

x

what is it about capybaras that attracts groups of small animals to them? Its not just mammals either its like birds and turtles and frogs too

Gin and djinn are pronounced the same way. Both are spirits in a bottle.

they called them DIY, but they were difficult to do yourself, they called them lifehacks, but they didn't make anyone's life easier, they called them 5 minute crafts, but they took extended periods of time to do

now i propose they call them CTSO videos, which stands for "Check That Shit Out" videos. no expectations. no standards. "this dude just made a windmill out of old dog toys i can't do that!" no one asked you to. just watch him do his thing. Check That Shit Out. "somebody just covered a toothpick with 48 layers of flex seal spray to make it a giant toothpick and i don't have nearly enough time for that." who asked if you had time. you aren't doing it. Check That Shit Out. "why did i just watch a video of somebody line up 30 gummi bears and then melt them with a blowtorch and then dip the congealed mess into maple syrup and then put it inside their air conditioning unit?" oh there was absolutely no reason. they didn't need a reason to do that. Check That Shit Out