So Apparently I'm Most Like Donnie??? No Idea How, Like Yeah I'm Tall And Smart And Want A Bonk Stick

Hand over the Texas hc's 🔫🥰

*not forcing ofc!! <3*

HIII!!! I wanted to get this done sooner but had to transition my brain from "OUTSIDE WOOOO" to "Sit yo ass down BOI" so this took a little...oops? BUT here ya go!!!

Texas-

*Slaps on back of the head* Oh this bad boy can fit SO much trauma

He has a human family but boy is he not human, he’s closer to human than Jersey and Maryland but whatever he is sure ain’t human

LOVES Transformers, the movies, shows, comics, all of it (whata nerd)

He’s very easy to become friends with so long as you give him the chance and you’re not at The Table

He’s a lovable dumbass and if one cannot handle that then one shall not be friends with sir cowboy

Surprisingly friends with New Jersey, they got closer after teaching each other how to cook certain things (Brisket and Pizza)

Adores cuddles, whether he’s big spoon or little spoon, he love ‘em

Is decently good friends with California, they may not agree on everything but the two been slowly learning that you don’t have to be friends with just those that share your same views and beliefs (a hard lesson for both to understand)

Oh you best believe this boy has become super best friends with Alberta, how could he not!? They are literally Walmart him!!

Used to go into the rivers near his home to dive for treasure, almost always found guns, so much so that he had to stop as his collection was a bit too big to take care of them all (he gave some to other states over time)

Oh wait yeah *clears throat* ✨~Guns~✨ 

He loves bats, thinks they are the most adorable little weirdos in the world and will do ANYTHING to protect them

Oh does he love to dance, will always find a victim someone to dance with, somehow always ends up being Oklahoma

He doesn’t really understand hockey but he’s trying (the southern states with teams are making sure of that) and he does understand why it’s popular, it’s the ✨~violence~✨

He will get what he wants, one way or another, no matter how long it takes and if he only has what he wants for a minute or two, he will get it.

Random: whats your favorite TMNT intro song

me: the rise of the TMNT intro song

random: that’s such a basic answer

me: FINE YOU WANT A REAL ANSWER, THIS

if this doesn’t play at my funeral I’m not dieing

I usually try and keep hockey off this account but I am begging you all to never drink and drive.

It’s not just yourself and those in the car you are putting at risk. It’s the people in the cars around you, the people biking near you, the people walking on the sidewalk, the people waiting for the bus.

Don’t drink and drive. Have someone come pick you up or call an Uber.

The risk is not worth it.

My heart goes out to Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau’s family and friends.

Hey, look at this, a thingy tell y'all that the fancy ask box be open. That's correct folks, you, YES you, can send in asks about whatever, whether it be a drawing request or headcanon request, and I would be contractually obligated to answer them.

So please, SEND THEM IN!!!

Eeee thank youuuu!!!

Listen I ain’t gonna say that pollution is a problem, but I am going to say that we got so FUCKED by the Canadian wild fires, like it was real bad air and stuff. So when in doubt, blame Canada (or the West when that’s all on fire, seriously it allll just comes over here).

Wasn’t alive but 2001 sucked for like everyone duh, the sad thing is that a lot of people who died were from NJ, since a ton of people commute to NY. Obvi a ton more New Yorkens died that day but a shit ton of Jersians did as well….so you know…something something angst.

Also yes the forest one totally counts as angst, the woods aren’t obviously dangerous here since we only have Forest Puppies™️ and like foxes and coyotes, but lemme tell ya, them woods not only definitely haunted but there is probably people doing the big illegals out there. Like moonshiners or…idk cultests probably, that’s also ignoring the actually legal hunting lol.

FUCK ENGLAND, damn tea drinkers.

Anyway thank you!!! This has made me unreasonably happy :D

Ayup friend, lifes in shambles, hockey has once again ruined me, and thus I must ask for you to absolutely ruin our boy New Jersey

(NJ angst hcs, if it wasn’t clear lolz, if you don’t got any when you see this that’s chill, take your time :D)

Ah yes I see you have once again returned to get NJ’s sadness :) /silly

Hmmmm tear scars on his wings……smth smth England…….

I don’t see him as someone that has had very good luck with dating (till he met S.C. or Del or Rhodey or whoever you ship him with), and it makes him kinda sad :(

^he’s sorta under the impression that people date him out of pity for some reason. And they’ll leave him when they feel less pitiful.

Idk if this counts as angst, but here’s a random hc: So like- NJ loves plants and nature and all that, so he also knows what herbs and weeds are good and that bring good health and could even help infected wounds. He also found this out from the amount of times he fcked off into the woods all alone and got hurt somehow.

……Okay so. I feel like he definitely watched like. Y’know. All the stuff that happened in 2001, as well as other things. He watched his brother and his brother’s city suffer. He wanted to tear his eyes away. But he couldn’t. He wishes he could’ve.

He definitely has some breathing issues. I’ve. I’ve decided that based off the pollution stereotypes.

*cough cough* I heard someone say Baseball NY and Hockey NJ?

@alaskashigh *points aggressively* YOU!!!! I wanted to do this literally all day since I saw your post!!!!

I think this is like such a fun dynamic, whether it's shipped or just their normal bullshit (personally I don't ship them but I can agree with those who do ship them, they are very cute together)

They are arguing about who gets the backyard probably, a very common argument once the baseball season pops up I'd imagine (and I am), half the time the only reason they stop is because of a meeting lol

Ahh thank you :D

Also yeah pollen is absolutely the worse -signed, someone allergic to pollen

I can absolutely see him sobbing if one of his favorite plants die, like there isn't perfect weather to revive it, like he isn't the garden state where literally anything is possible. He will sob and he will do it in front of the other states, he doesn't care if it's "not manly" or "weak" of him, that was his baby damn it!!

The thing with the smell is that it's only the turnpike and really only centered around the Newark area, it honestly isn't noticeable at all once your literally anywhere else (except the swamps going down the shore specifically to WildWood, then it's sorta bad cause it's a fishin area)

Listen he may be very smart (NJ has basically the best educational system in the country) but that doesn't mean he is when it involves him, why keep dirt on himself when he can focus that on others. It does have the downside where he kinda just...forgets certain things, like he is way stronger than he should be and that no it isn't normal to be that obsessed with diners.

(Must say in some weird way this has made me feel better, maybe it's the fact I live here idk lolz)

*poke poke poke* Jersey angst headcanons please :D (listen hockey has been rough recently and I need some way to cope with the fact that the coach is running the team into the ground T-T)

*stares like a deer in headlights and eats your hand*

Oh it is NJ angst you seek? Here ya go :)

…..imagine if NJ coughs up flower petals and blood sometimes and has a few other issues due to the pollution being so bad there.

His devil wings have a bunch of scars all over them from over the years.

He’s kinda insecure about the fact that he doesn’t really have a pleasant smell (I’ve been in Jersey once and it wasn’t too bad actually lmao) due to the state itself not really having a pleasant smell

I feel like he gets really really sad whenever a plant dies, especially if he put a lot of effort into trying to help it survive.

He often forgets his own strength and the fact that he’s absolutely jacked and ends up accidentally hurting the other states pretty often.

I just cannot wait for the day Lindy Ruff is fired.

I am tired of having the tiny hope I have be taken away every damn game.

I am tired of seeing the players, who are clearly just dun not in the sense that they aren't trying but in the sense that they have gotten used to the disappointment that is this season, be exhausted every game, especially when players like Daws, L. Hughes and literally anyone else who is showing signs of stress clearly aren't playing in tiptop shape.

I am tired of Lindy sounded disappointed any time he is on screen, no matter if we do well or not that game, it's consistent disappointment and disinterest when I hear him talk and it sucks.

I am tired of New Jersey somehow finding a way to be a joke even in the sports world with our ONLY major professional, this team is many people only knowledge of Jersey and yet we are STILL a joke or something to just not be respected.

I am tired of every game where everyone is sure this just HAS to be Lindy's last game and yet somehow he is still there the next time we play, that somehow someway he probably won't be fired till the end of the season and EVEN THEN who knows if he actually will me.

I am tired and over it but I'll still be watching the games, I'll still be there when we lose once again, I'll still be there talking to Sky saying shit about how much I hate Lindy and how he is running this team into the ground, I'll still be complaining about Ruff to my parents because they have to know everything wrong going on.

I'll still be here because just because a team is doing shit doesn't mean you should drop it just because of that, that just shows you weren't actually a fan in my opinion.

I have far too much state pride for my own good because I genuinely love this state and love this team, so I'll stick through the good and the bad, continue to be slightly angry with myself for not being able to get into hockey last year when we were badass.

And I'll still be watching and eventually buy more stuff for the Devils because let's be real, the second that sales drop and the Devs aren't as popular the club isn't stay in Jersey, so might as well support the bastards ya know?

And hey, who knows, maybe one day we shall see Lindy gone and this team flourishing, but until then I'll just keep being sorta upset that we aren't doing as well as we can and drinking my problems away (this is a joke and I promise it's just water, Liquid Death specifically).

Ladies and Gentleman. The second chapter has been POSTED

Sorry for it taking so long but also no I'm not cause it's my fic and I'll do what I want BAH!!

@almostangrything Here ya go, this was fun to do and lets be honest NY would kill Texas if he ever tried to do this while he was awake.