hi
trigger warning: sexual misconduct
i have started school since September and I have been badly sexually harassed and assaulted. I manged to tell my mom and my teachers about it and I got blamed and mocked gossiped talked about, lost my friends including blocked, and I have been feeling really trapped. uncomfortable and I have been hiding alot of what has been going on.
recently, it got worse and i have been hiding everything 3 months ago after i last spoke up was the end of september. i spoke up and just realised nobody really cares or listens and thinks im lying. my sister has been such a bitch recently, she hates me for no reason, and she uses my sexual harassment and assault as a way to mock and hurt me (e.g “you wouldve been the next (another sexual assault survivor name), its ur fault” etc etc
the things these boys did r horrendous and I cannot write it down cause its too much to put on here and I feel like crying if I get reminded as I write them on here.
someone mind helping me?? im really lost and my mental health been fucking up and I have been trying to restrict myself from drinking and isolating myself from everything everyone and I just feel like doing it and my suicidal thoughts got even worse and I just been thinking of doing it before the new year.
I am just so tired. anyone help??
today at school, i had some “friends” and one friend went “who’s ready for pride month?” and they were all cheering in the classroom and then this one friend who sat next to me (found out she makes fun of me sometimes) said so much horrible things about trans people and the lgbtq community (mostly the trans and non binary community including genderfluid)
they started saying they hate trans people bc we “take the piss” and they never understand why we go by he/they and she/they and that and they invalidated neopronouns too saying “wtf are neopronouns? some neopronouns users actually have pronouns like meow/meow, xe/xem, etc” like why would i wanna call you that like that’s so stupid (laughs)” and they started talking about this teacher who got sacked bc he misgendered a student who was trans and trial for 3 days and now they went “oH nO OfFENsE but what is genderfluid? what is that? bc why am i a man the next day, a female today, a trans next day, and demi fucking the next week like that’s so confusing and you can’t change genders like that so they need to stop that HAHAHAHHAA” and the “why do you guys use he/they pronouns? and she/they and whatever? like you can’t use more than one pronoun and gender equals pronouns like stop being stupid” LIKE I FELT SO INVALIDATED OMFG
“and i never understand the non binary mfs who use more than one pronouns or say their gender is this that like THERES ONLY 2 GENDERS. female and male. nothing else???”
and they just said so much more like oh my god (message me if you wanna hear the rest) and i just hate them for it. I BROUGHT MY PRIDE FLAG for celebration in my bag and thank god i never brought it our bc yall wouldve invalidated me.
i hate people. lgbtq ppl are extremely valid. yall cishets and straights NEED TO SHUT UP.
i dont care who makes fun of kpop fans or whatever. mfs who hate on us for liking music differently and i dont care who make fun of what i like and love watching but kpop is DIFFERENT and feels different to most people. some see it as a way of being themselves or a connection to different music and people and thats ok and i love seeing that. for me kpop makes me feel a huge range of emotions and feelings.
one of the things i love in the whole world is that as someone who listens to kpop on a regular and daily basis (everyday ALWAYS) for so many years, seeing people who r just like u is so freeing. u could make a reference and everyone will get what u said
another thing i love in the world is seeing CHINESE people in kpop. people like chenle and renjun from nct, people like jun and the8 from seventeen, and more. people like that make me feel safe.
it makes me feel extra connected to a certain aspect of my cultural identity. i grew up hiding the fact that i am asian (desi, arab & chinese) and that i was all kinds of asian, and seeing those idols make me feel so connected oh my god like ways to learn my language by watching them teach fans or them speaking it and making it easy for us by what words means and sentence structures, their culture, their food, their traditions, the way they look, the way they r passionate about where they r from, it makes me feel such a huge connection into being chinese and make me want to know more about my culture like you guys dont understand how FREEING that is for me after hiding that aspect of my identity for so many years OH MY GOD
NO WAY TEAM SWEET WON??? THATS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE HOW
ok y’all, i got told to rot in hell cause i was gay, had alot of homophobia today and outed the number of times and ppl being weird about it. just people pretending to be gay when they aren’t.
yeahh..
🫡
anyways,, hi guys i took a dna test last month. its been 2-3 weeks right?? i got results.
interestingly i woke up, and thought “lemme check one last time” and all I saw was waiting in transit.
and then randomly, my momma got an email and says it sent us a notification that it REACHED the lab, analysed & said the results MAY verify but the results will come through. their currently analysing my sample right now oh my god
they are so fucking scam on this shit. it said it will take 6 weeks and guess what? it will ACTUALLY be ready on April 28th TO may 12th. thats like more than 6 fucking weeks BUT either way not complaining 😭😭 im so excited
life is so good right now
been dying to know the sides of my moms family but I know too much of my moms side and still want to know more, so we agreed to the 23andme kit and now we r waiting for the results which takes 5-6 weeks
but once of my uncles, are updating us about digging our family tree and right now, he is saying there is too many mixes in my dads family
bro said that. MY DADS side. has senegalese. swiss. italian. spanish. sweden.
thats the most recent we found and my dad sadly died so I couldnt get to ask him anything.
but being italian and spanish is shocking because he did make me visit his spanish side. my mom said EVERY time she is in that mfing house she IS ALWAYS seeing a flag that has red white and green. she didnt know what that was. but like. ITS THE WAY I WAS THINKING ABOUT VISITING SWITZERLAND AND WANTED TO LIVE THERE in the FUTURE and then boom, a gene has been found.
i love being mixed
jun / junnie !! she her they them | kpop fan mostly boy group, i dont stan ggs much | queer ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🩷🤍🤎 ⚢ (aroace lesbian nonbinary trans) | multiracial
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