Welp…

Aro culture is a slow journey of finding your own peace.

Signed, an older aro

<2

— Mary Lambert

ok im writing something for moony’s birthday in two days but my laptop has a virus so it might be late 😫i’m sorryyyyyy

THE LAPTOP IS FIXED! WE ARE BACK ON SCHEDULE!

Carefully frustrated

Ok so this is a sequel to 'No rest til' the sunrise'. Hurt/comfort. I drew a lot of what Remus was feeling in this fic from my own feeling with my disability, I see Remus as having arteritis if there is anything in this fic that you see doesn't fit with this description let me know I don't know a lot about arteritis apart from the research I did for this fic. I hope you like it :)

The sun dipped behind another cloud as Sirius flick the indicator to the left intending to follow the sign to the zoo.

“You have to go on the next right Sirius” Remus spoke up from the passenger seat.

“The sign says left, love”

“Yes, but that’ll take us to the queue, go right up here and we’ll cut round the back and park easy peasy”

“Is that even legal?” Remus shrugged in response as Sirius laughed lightly and flicked the indicator off and continued down the road. The right turn that Remus had indicated was more of an overgrown dirt track with several potholes. Sirius stared down the track wide eyed.

“Re?”

“Sirius your car will be fine it’s a four-by-four stop being a baby!” Remus was right of course his car was fine but that didn’t stop Sirius from pouting as he parked the car by the entrance to the zoo. The car doors were slammed simultaneously.

“Look at this!” Sirius gestured wildly “my car was clean this morning and now there’s dirt everywhere”

“Yeah, but no queueing”

“We’re British Remus all we do is queue”

“Yes and I’m sick of waiting to see the sun bears now lets go” the sandy haired man said with a smile and grabbed his boyfriends hand promptly pulling him to the entrance. Once they paid for the tickets the pair wondered around the zoo hand in hand. The sun bears were the first enclosure as it was the closest to them, but they slowly made their way around. As they approached the wolf section a plethora of jokes ensued.

“Hey, wolf wolf” Sirius started with a grin that was answered with an unenthusiastic groan from Remus “knock knock”

“Who’s there?” Remus’ voice was muffled from where his hand was in his hands.

“Howl” Remus poked his head up with renewed interested as this wasn’t a joke he’d heard from Sirius before. He still seemed unsure when he said the next line.

“…howl who?”

“Howl y’know until you open the door” the look on Remus’ face was better than the actual joke and caused Sirius to let out a loud barking laugh as Remus hide his face once more. Though it seemed like he was hiding his own laughter more than his embarrassment.

“It’s even worse that my mothers maiden name is Howell” Which set Sirius off on another round of loud ruckus laughter.

“Oh, Moony you are brilliant” he said with an air of finality dragging Remus down to plant a kiss on his cheek.

The pair made their way over to the sun bears and watched as on walked on his hind legs from side of the enclosure to the other. One of the bears was sat right in front of the window licking the glass as if it was the tastiest treat ever. They walked hand in hand down the path stopping briefly to look at the Medellin and Mangabey monkeys. They continued down the path quietly until Sirius suddenly pulled at Remus’ jacket arm like an over excited toddler until they stumbled over to the meerkats. A few of the babies ran around at the edge of the glass while the older ones poked their heads out of small holes in the logs almost imitating the game whack ‘a mole. Across the path was the lions den, the walls around it were so tall you had to climb a spiral of stairs up to the viewing platform. It wasn’t that busy, so the pair started to make their way up. Sirius bounded ahead taking it two steps at a time, Remus, however, grab the cold metal rail and started to pick his way up. After three steps an ache appeared in his right knee and caused him to clutch the rail tighter and clench his jaw in the hopes he could ignore his knee. Sirius had turned around when he reached the top and noticed his boyfriend was only a quarter of the way up. Immediately Sirius started picking his way down the narrow staircase and guilt flooded through Remus like a dam being opened. He wasn’t ashamed of his disability, but it wasn’t like he wanted it to be announced to everyone around him by the fact that he couldn’t get up a few stairs without hobbling. It made him feel so out of place, it seemed that way a lot. That he shouldn’t be here or anywhere, that he should hide away and get out of everyone’s way. But Sirius was there, with that stupid smile and those adoring eyes that never looked at him with any judgment, not once. Carefully his left hand was taken into Sirius’.

“Sorry love got a bit excited didn’t mean to leave you behind” and that’s what was so good about Sirius. He never made a fuss about Remus’ disability, never made him feel bad or different about it. he could just be so understanding sometimes it was infuriating and infatuating at the same time. How was this not annoying to him? Having to wait for Remus to climb a bunch of stupid stairs because his stupid arteritis decided right now was a good time to act up. Stupid stupid stupid. Perhaps if he was so pissed of with himself Remus could be more articulate than ‘stupid’ however he figured it was a good enough adjective for now. Together they slowly made to accent up the stairs and spent a while staring down at the lions den. One of the lioness’s was stretched out on her back basking in the sun, it seemed like a perfect nap spot and Remus informed Sirius of such. There wasn’t anywhere to sit up in the small watch tower so trying to keep all the weight of his aching joints was a task that Remus only just managed to succeed at leaning against the wall. They soon started to pick their way down the stairs and walked up to the top end of the zoo. The walk there was a little longer than Remus had anticipated at first, constantly having to put weight on his knee meant he was shifting a lot weight to his left side which made his hip start aching painfully and he didn’t even have his cain today because it had been a good fucking morning and he didn’t need it then. Logically he knew both his cain and wheelchair were in the car but that would mean walking all the way back through the zoo just to come back to this point and it wouldn’t be fair to Sirius to drag him through the zoo and back again. No, it was fine, he was fine. His teeth gritted and fists curled up tight. Sirius delicately touched the inside of his wrist and slid his hand down silently asking for permission to hold. Slowly Remus released the stiffness in his knuckles and spread his fingers out allowing Sirius hand to curl around his palm as a delicious sense of comfort washed over him. Ever so carefully Sirius pulled them to a stop and the side of the pathway and drop his voice low.

“Are you ok?” the tenderness in his voice almost made Remus cry. (and he had been holding it together so well). Words seemed to have failed him, so instead of replying with actual words Remus just gripped Sirius’ hand tighter.

“Alright.” Sirius seemed to study his next words with high regard. His gaze dropped to their joined hand causing dark tendrils of hair to fall in front of his face. When his gaze rose to Remus’ however they parted around his face framing it perfectly. “I can run back to the car and grab your wheelchair?” Shame began rising up in Remus like a tidal wave, he didn’t want to ruin the day by sending Sirius off to grab something that he didn’t need. He could walk, he could walk without any problems this morning he could walk now.

“I’m fin-“

“You are not fine you are in pain. I can see you clenching your jaw and limping on both sides like your trying to keep the weight of your entire body.” Sirius spoke with a slight tightness in his voice like he was angry that Remus hadn’t told him or that he couldn’t help.

“I don’t need my wheelchair; I’m fine I can do this without help.”

“There is no harm in you needing help Remus, you are in pain and if you don’t use a mobility aid you could cause more damage. Powering through this is helping no one.”

“I am not powering through anything. I don’t need it” Sirius softened quicker than butter on a hot day.

“Remus, love, it is ok. There is no shame in you needing help sometimes. You have chronic pain, your wheelchair or your cain is just a tool to help you move without issues. Just like James needs his glasses to see two feet in front of him and how I need my hearing aids to hear your beautiful voice” Sirius had a loving smile on his face, but his eyes were wary as if taking in everything Remus was doing.

Remus had been getting slowly more and more frustrated since the lions but a few soothing words from his boyfriend was like balm on his burning irritation. A slow nod made Sirius break out in a grin.

“I’m sorry you’re right. I just-“ The hand not wrapped around Sirius’ was dragged down his face in a huff of annoyance with himself. “today was supposed to be a good day”

“It still is love; your disability hasn’t ruined anything, and it never has. We can enjoy ourselves whether we walk a little slower for you or if your wheeling around. Being around you will always be my favourite pastime.”

“But no one else needs help walking around the fucking zoo for a day, its frustrating how my body makes me feel so weak” the dejected look on Remus’ face staring and the ground in between the couple was nearly enough to break Sirius’ heart.

“Darling, listen to me” Sirius right hand came to rest under Remus’ chin and pushed up slightly until golden flecks hidden within gorgeous amber eyes lifted to meet with grey storm clouds hidden in Sirius eyes. “Your disability does not make you weak Remus it makes you strong. Stronger than so many other people that I know. You can deal with it, persevere, and come out the other side there’s not a day that goes by where I am not in absolute awe of you Remus Lupin.”

Remus sniffled slightly and gently chuckled “sap”

“I suppose I am. Now lets get you to that bench over there and I will be right back.” And he was, it only took Sirius just over 5 minutes to grab the wheelchair from the car and run right back to Remus’ side. The weight off of his joints was an absolute god send and Sirius insisted on wheeling Remus around the wallaby walkabout. All in all it was a perfect day.

ah shit sorry man i didnt mean to spill my "aro4aro friends with benefits relationship" all over your favorite ship, fuck dude my bad, it wont happen again

did you know that the last name Cooper comes from the role on a ship for someone who took care of barrels?? like their whole jobs was making sure all the barrels on a ship were good enough and dismantling barrels if they got in the way and then remaking them as soon as these fucking barrels were needed! imagine being the descendant of a barrel man for fuck sake hahejenjdbf

Moony’s birthday

Ok so I thought this fic was lost forever and then it turns out I just needed to restart my laptop and everything was fine again lol. Turns out machines need a break too. This is def some hurt/comfort shit and I’m kind of proud of it so I hope you enjoy. 

Sleep was wonderful. It was a point where you could escape the worries and responsibilities of life for a while where you didn’t have to do anything except appreciate the warmth of the duvet. That is exactly what Remus Lupin was doing. Well until the covers were thrown back by his traitor husband exposing the long and lanky frame to the cold march air. That brought a stabbing pain in his chest that he was almost used to by now, almost.

----------

Covers yanked back and three extra bodies piled onto the small twin sized bed with similar levels of excite glee.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Mooooonnnnnnyyyyyyy” the three bodies also decided to bring their disastrously out of tune voices along with them it seemed “happy birthday too youuuuu!”

Despite the feeling of being physically crushed by his best friends Remus also felt crushed by the love pouring out of these boys and a grin couldn’t help but work itself onto his face.

----------

“Moonbeam, my love how are you this fine morning?” Sirius said with way to much joy and energy in his voice for 8am.

“Better if you let me sleep in you arsehole” the tawny (now greying) haired man grumbled into his pillow haphazardly searching for the duvet to pull back over his head, but soon gave up as he could reach it

“Well, this arsehole made you birthday breakfast so come on I know you hate getting crumbs in the bed” and with that the shorter man left the room with a large flourish, well a rather dramatic flick of his hair at least.

Birthday breakfast is something James thought of. Remus didn’t like presents and hated his birthday, hated the attention, but James being James needed to show his friend how much he cared.

----------

Stumbling down to the great hall before classes still wiping sleep from his eye Remus Lupin was joined by only two friends instead of the regular three. James was often an early riser so seeing him sat at the breakfast table wasn’t unusual. No, the unusual thing was the plate of all different goodies. Pancakes, waffles, toast, beans, sausages, bacon, hashbrowns, eggs (done every way you can), croissants, hot cross buns, crumpets and even cereal. It seems his friend hadn’t forgot a single classic English breakfast item and as Remus sat down staring bewildered at the mountain of foods the messy haired boy spoke up before he could even attempt to say anything.

“My Mum taught me to cook loads of different things like the eggs sunny side up, scrambled, poached fried. OH, and the pancakes have got chocolate chips cause you love chocolate y’know, can’t forget the chocolate sauce, I’ve also got fruit cause well its healthy. I just figured since you don’t like presents at least I can give you food, right?” the information was sort of rocketed in Remus’s general direction rather than actually spoken but that was just James.

----------

Remus was pulled from another memory of Hogwarts that caused that twinging pain in his left lung, by the mountain of food on the island in the kitchen. Pancakes, waffles, all the cereal boxes pulled down from the shelf, a plate of sausages and another waiting for the bacon, hashbrowns, croissants, hot cross buns, and crumpets.

 Sirius was standing over the stove frying up the last of the bacon swinging his hips and humming too the intro of ‘tie your mother down’ playing through the old record player speakers sat in the corner. Remus lent against the doorway admiring the love of his life with Remus’s pyjama’s low on his hips. Sirius was beautiful, he always had been why shouldn’t Remus spend a bit of time relishing in the presence of this man. The humming had changed into Sirius belting out the words.

“GET YOUR PARTY GOWN, GET YOUR PIGTAIL DOWN, GET YOUR HEART BEATIN’ BABY”

----------

12th December 1976 was a cold day which Remus decided was best wrapped up in a blanket with a book, that was until Sirius and James all but tumbled through the door to their shared dorm.

“PRONGS PUT IT ON GO ON GO ON!”

“IM GETTING THEIR PADFOOT JUST-“

Remus looked up from his perch on the windowsill book in his lap forgotten in favour of the two boys excitement.

‘’What the fuck is happening?” came Remus’s confused gruff voice from the other side of the room.

“MOONY MOONY MOONY MOONY CHRISTMAS HAS OFFICIALLY COME EARLY! LOOK, LOOK, LOOK!” Sirius was practically vibrating with excitement and way to loud as per usual as he shoved the record sleeve in his boyfriends face.

“Woah. WHERE IN THE EVER-LIVING FUCK DID YOU GET THIS?” A wide excited grin joined his face too match his two best friends.

“Muggle shop,” he said flippantly “it came out TWO days ago Moony!”

“Hold on how did you get to muggle shop, Hogsmead is the only town nearby? No tell me after we’ve listened to the album, come on James how long does it take to put on a fucking record”

“Alright don’t get your knickers in a twist Moony, here” and the first notes of Tie your mother down started playing through the speakers and the three friends stood around appreciating the music.

They must’ve listen to the album twice through before Peter joined them and proceeded to complain that they didn’t find him immediately. Then they all listened through the album through another three times before discussing and then another two times. To say Day at the races was a favourite record for the marauders was an understatement.

“Wow, that might be there best album EVER” Peter announced

“Ooh making some bold claims there Wormy” came the teasing voice of James Potter

“I think my favourite song was Tie your mother down. What about you lot?” Sirius started the conversation the usually ended in arguments and harsh words thrown about whenever a new record was added to the marauders collection. “Moony?” grey eyes looked up through dark eyelashes up at the other boy. From his place in his lap Sirius got a perfect view of the birthmarks speckling the column of Remus’s neck and the different shades of brown, yellow and gold in his hair. The light from above created a halo around Remus’s head as he looked down on the dark-haired boy resting in his lap.

“Oof, Pads. A favourite? I dunno, they were all sooooo good!”

“Oh, come of it Moony you always have a favourite!” James socked foot came to knock his knee, the taller boys attention was briefly taken away from the boy in his lap. Sirius usually like to have all the attention, but he didn’t mind this one bit, getting too look at Moony will that easy smile spread across his face and watching the thoughts run over his face was a sight to behold.

“Good old fashioned lover boy” he said holding James gaze as the messy haired boy threw his hands in the air in clear frustration.

“NO! THE BEST SONG WAS CLEARLY DROWSE!”

“WHAT?! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME PRONGS” Remus lent forward and threw his hands around but quickly moved back in fear of jostling Sirius too much

“WHAT IT WAS A GOOD SONG AND I STAND BY THAT!” messy haired boy stood up with an air of finality

“Oh no you don’t get to walk away from this conversation Prongs” at the moment Remus leapt across the room, all aspects of keeping his boyfriend comfy went out the window apparently and latched himself onto James ankles toppling him to ground like a Jenga tower.

----------

Remus wrapped his arms around his husbands waist and plastered his chest to expanse of Sirius back while proceeding to joining with a new rendition of Tie your mother down.

“GOT MY TIMIN’ RIGHT, GOT MY ACT ALL TIGHT, ITS GOTTA BE TONIGHT MY LITTLE SCHOOL BABE!”

“YOUR MOMMA SAYS YOU DON’T AND YOUR DADDY SAYS YOU WON’T AND IM BURNIN’ UP INSIDE AINT NO WAY IM GONNA LOOSE OUT THIS TIME”

The smell of burning bacon is what knocked the couple out of their fantasy and Sirius frantically moved the pan of the heat and salvaged the bacon that wasn’t burnt. Still plastered to his husbands back Remus started shaking with silent laughter.

“Oi you wanker grab the plate and at least be useful instead of laughing at my efforts” Sirius said a teasing lilt to his voice. Moving away from the warmth that Sirius always managed to radiate was more of a chore than trying to grade 1st years essays even if he did wrap his arms back around the shorter mans waist as soon as he could.

“Y’know, I thought you were getting better at cooking didn’t Effie teach you to cook” Remus said jokingly.

“She certainly tried; you know James was always the chef” in one sentence all of their teasing had fallen, and they were left with the nasty reminder that they were alone. The two of them with their friends all lost to a war that none of them should have been a part of. The tears didn’t creep up on Remus by any stretch of the imagination, they had been waiting for the right moment to strike all morning and he had only just been holding them back.

“I miss them too, love” Remus whispered into Sirius neck where he had tucked his head.

LOVE LOVE LOVE

The sweet cheeses again, you will always be famous Helen and Menelaus

Doodle undercut for funsies

Moonlighter

This is kind of short but it’s something i thought of and couldn’t get out of my head so here you go.

Sirius stood in the courtyard with his tie hanging messily around his neck. Despite the cold weather, coming from the fact it was January and winds from the north were still blistering through the Scottish highlands, he stood in nothing but his shirt and trousers and only source of heat the lit tip of his cigarette. The light did little to illuminate anything around him, even though it was mid-day the clouds obscured most of the sun and kept a grey aura around the dark-haired boy. A few students bustled around the courtyard trying to get inside out of the cold, but one boy with a few bronze curls sticking out of his burgundy hat seemed to be striding further into the cold than out of it. As he stood up behind the shorter boy a hand emerged from underneath his robe and careful fingers plucked fag out of Sirius’s hand.

“Don’t destroy your lungs without me Pads” the teasing lilt to his voice was calming and washed over Sirius.

“Moony, you could just ask y’know.” he responded with a light laugh.

“but that’s no fun now is it” Remus took a drag from the cigarette and blow the smoke into the air around them. He then handed it back and Sirius’s nimble fingers moved it too his mouth with ease and copied the motion that Remus had just done.