Istg This Was Something Sweet And Cute But My Mind Is Fuck Up

You know what the anon option is for? (✿◠‿◠)

For shy people who are too scared to talk to their favourite blogs. (◡‿◡✿)

Not for you to act like a piece of shit. ✿◕ ‿ ◕✿

‼️PLEASE READ‼️

(Image is just for attention grabs)

I would like to start by introducing myself, I'm Maowie. Am a writer here on tumblr and today I want to use my platform with a small following...HOPING to spread information and awareness about what is currently going on in my country, THE PHILIPPINES.

Filipino fishermens in my country are currently being harassed by The China Coast Guard, provoking trouble inside waters under Philippine Jurisdictions. Asserting Dominance and CLAIMING that the WEST PHILIPPINES SEA IS THEIRS.

As a Filipino myself, I fear for my fellow countrymen and posting about this issue is the only way I could spread awareness and call for support for my people. Donations are not needed nor being asked for, what I request is for the people who will reach this to repost and spread.

THE WEST PHILIPPINE SEA BELONGS TO THE PHILIPPINES AND THE PHILIPPINES ALONE!!

REFER TO THIS LINKS FOR MORE INFORMATION (Remvove "£"):

https:£//www.facebook.com/share/p/UJxsd1mawooiUTiR/?mibextid=oFDknk

https:£//www.facebook.com/share/p/zaUtUA6bhLp1NQtC/?mibextid=oFDknk

PLEASE JUST PLEASE 🙏 ANGTS

? Invisible .✾. Kazuha

"You don't even know it, I can't ever win"

SYNOPSIS:

You are someone who loves art. You draw with emotion and freedom. But despite your artistic self, you are someone with no luck of gaining even a grain of attention or popularity. Most times people forget you exist, and the only people who know your existence are your friends and family.

While you were rushing through the hallways to get to your class, you bump into a popular boy named Kaedehara Kazuha. The most kindest, outgoing, and refreshing boy ever known in the school. And thats the first moment your heart beat fast for a boy.

Sadly for you, there was no way for Kazuha to notice you. And in the end, you might aswell live the remaining years of your highschool with a love thats one-sided.

INSPIRED BY ➫ KiMi Ni TODOKE ➫ From me to you

FOLLOW MY MAIN ➫ @lostzeron

Painter!reader ↣ Fem!reader

Status? IDK IF ILL START TO DISCARD 💀

Update schedule? None

SMAU ───── HIGHSCHOOL AU

SLOWBURN STORY.

HEADS UP! Angst, fluff, comdey and fill-in characters (OC's) included

For? @mokiverse

M A S T E R L I S T

─────

Introducing... Who? ↣ The art kids + Venti ↣Mr/Ms Popular's

─────

00. Prolouge

01. Even the teachers forgot me 💀

02. The feeling of being bullied

03. Venti pulling up

04. Late for art club?!

05. Oh shoot!

06. Kaedehara Kazuha

07. Nothing happend. Yeah.

08. Another meeting

09. Heart goes boom boom

10. Literally save me

11. Can't help it

12. Denial

13. Acceptance

14. Hitting reality check

ACT 2

15. When Scaramouche cleans (KAZUHA POV)

16. DID YOU STEP ON MY CANVAS?! (Filler)

17. That sweet smile

18. Wait, he remembers me?

19. Denial strucks again

20. Can't help falling inlove

21. Let's yoga our worries away - Venti

22. He won't notice you

23. Im trying, Im trying

24. Another girl

25. Let's just give up.

26. Xiao's genius plan

27. Venti pulls up again (with a rocket booster)

28. The exchange of numbers

29. HE WANTS TO HANGOUT?!

30. A date (clickbait)

31. When he walked you home

32. Don't get your hopes up

ACT 3

33. Actually lets get our hopes up

34. Wrong idea💀

35. Heart=broken

36. Xiaos genius plans strikes

37. The OG ways of cupid

38. When he wipes your tears away

39. Me, You, and painting

40. The other woman?

41. Bullied.

42. Nurse Kazuha

43. Tension (Scaramouche ruins it)

44. Another hangout

45. "I've always noticed you"

46. Wait. Are we gonna kiss?

47. Oh

48. Just friends

49. Venti rages

50. Should've stayed on the low.

─────

➫ Camera's off!

══════════════════════

A NEW ENDING ?

══════════════════════

‼️🇵🇸 An activist, who destroyed multiple engine parts of the jets Israel uses, has been released!

🔸 Source: pal_action

STOP. DON'T SCROLL. READ THIS TO SAVE LIVES IN GAZA. Below are some VETTED campaigns to support Gazans. These people have been experiencing an active genocide for almost a full year. Donate and share widely.

(may 27th)

Save a displaced Gazan Family (@ranibra) - Rania is married with five children, her husband needs medical care. She is now responsible to save her children. Help them evacuate.

Support Fahmi and his family (@fahmiakkila) - Fahmi's life has been turned completely upside down, and he now finds himself responsible to save his parents, sisters, & brothers - 7 members.

Save the Maliha family (@dinamaliha) - Dina wants to save her mother, two sisters, and three brothers. The family lost contact with their father when the genocide started. They desperately need to get to Egypt.

Save Firas' family (@firassalemnewacccount @prosolitudeeee) - Firas is a father of two children, a 10-month-old boy and a two-year-old girl, who are in need of safe haven in Egypt.

Help Husam and his family (@husamthaher) - Husam desperately needs to save himself, his wife, and 3 young children.

Help Nader's family to evacuate from Gaza (@nadershoshaa) - Nader and his family, consisting of six members, are currently displaced in the south; help them evacuate and survive.

The Shamaly family wants to survive (@daee571989) - Help save 15 kids and their family, who are living a horrifying active genocide.

Ahmd needs urgent evacuation (@ahmd-iyd) - Ahmd has lost his livelihood to this genocide, and needs funds to help his family evacuate and rebuild their life.

Help evacuate Hani's family (@skatehani) - A dear friend, and a Palestinian skater trying to evacuate 10 members of his family; he has lost his father to injustice.

Help Iman’s family find safety (@imaneyad) - Iman has a family of 7 who need to find safety.

Help save Youssef's family (@bba3lo @mahmoud7878) - Ahmed Baalousha wants to save his wife, his two sons, his daughter, as well as his parents and siblings.

Support Ruba and Amal's family's urgent evacuation (@rubashaban @amalshabn) - Ruba and Amal's family are lacking the basic necessities of life; they have an elderly father who desperately needs to be evacuated for medical care.

Save little Yusuf and his family (@ahmednabubake) - Yusuf is in an intensive care unit fighting for his life in Gaza; he needs urgent evacuation alongside his family.

Help Omar evacuate (@omarsobhi) - Omar is a 20 year old Palestinian student who wants to save himself and his family from this genocide.

Help Belal and his family to evacuate from Gaza (@alaajshaat) - Belal has lost too much to this war and needs to support himself and his family.

Do not scroll past this list without contributing. This list makes it easy for you to find a fundraiser to support. Choose at least one. Your contribution will save lives. If you cannot donate, share these campaigns.

FIND MORE CAMPAIGNS HERE

I'm back!!!

I'm back!! I was literally in no spirits to write fanfics, but thinking about picking it back up again.

Really have been in a Honkai Star Rail brain rot lately (mostly about xianzhou men ^^), and many ideas just popped into my brain. So please read through all of it and tell me which one you think I should start first. And please repost or share it with others! Comments are important!! I know it's long, but just bear with me. It's vital for me (>.<)

Long Fics:

Jing Yuan x Reader

Trope: Childhood friends to lovers

Relationships: Jing Yuan x Reader, TBD

About: Based off of a Ming dynasty emperor who only loved one woman (his childhood friend) for his whole life.

Reader Gender: Female

Tags: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/comfort, Ancient China au, childhood friends to lovers, Honkai Star Rail x Reader, hsr x reader, female! Reader, jing yuan x reader, hsr jing yuan, honkai star rail jing yuan, jing yuan x you

♡ ꒰ ◞ ◟ ꒱⌒)ᦱ 𓈒 ૮₍ ´ . ˕ .` ₎ა 𓈒 ⊹ ໒ ꐦ ｀ヮ ´ ა

Dan Heng x Reader

Trope: Reincarnation

Relationship: Dan Heng x Reader, TBD

About: Loosely based off of the c-drama 三生三世 (it’s really just an ost that inspired me). Dan Heng loves reader for the longest time, but instead of him reincarnating, it’s reader. Basically, reader is mortal while Dan Heng is immortal and heavenly law states that immortals aren’t allowed to fall in love with mortals. Essentially Dan Heng breaks that rule many times and gets punished many times (i.e. heavenly prison, loss of status, etc). And what if reader becomes immortal one day?

Reader Gender: Neutral

Tags: Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, guzhuang, immortal x mortal, immortality, Honkai Star Rail x Reader, hsr x reader, gn! Reader, dan heng x  reader, hsr dan heng, dan heng x you,  suggestive, reincarnation

♡ ꒰ ◞ ◟ ꒱⌒)ᦱ 𓈒 ૮₍ ´ . ˕ .` ₎ა 𓈒 ⊹ ໒ ꐦ ｀ヮ ´ ა

Jing Yuan x Reader

Trope: Maiden and knight

Relationships: Jing Yuan x Reader, TBD

About: Another one based loosely off of c-drama (again, it’s the ost doing it for me). This time loosely based off of Love Like the Galaxy. Some characters may be more calculating  than in the show. Only really thought of this cuz of Jing Yuan being a general.

Reader Gender: Neutral

Tags: Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, guzhuang, Honkai Star Rail x Reader, hsr x reader, gn! Reader, jing yuan x reader, hsr jing yuan, honkai star rail jing yuan, jing yuan x you

♡ ꒰ ◞ ◟ ꒱⌒)ᦱ 𓈒 ૮₍ ´ . ˕ .` ₎ა 𓈒 ⊹ ໒ ꐦ ｀ヮ ´ ა

Blade x Reader

Trope: Good x Evil

Relationships: Blade x Reader, TBD

About: Another another loosely inspired by the c-drama, Love Between Fairy and Devil. Though no, reader isn’t really gonna be an innocent dunce from the start. May display dumb, but not make it her personality. People around reader keep trying to tell them to stay away from the evil ones, but reader doesn’t really listen (cuz folks really don’t be telling them what the evil people look like) and ends up meeting the leader of said evil forces, Blade. Plot starts towards the beginning of the war between the good and evil.

Reader Gender: Neutral

Tags: Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, guzhuang, Honkai Star Rail x Reader, hsr x reader, gn! Reader, blade x reader, hsr blade, hsr blade x reader, blade x you, hsr blade x you

♡ ꒰ ◞ ◟ ꒱⌒)ᦱ 𓈒 ૮₍ ´ . ˕ .` ₎ა 𓈒 ⊹ ໒ ꐦ ｀ヮ ´ ა

Dan Heng x Reader

Trope: Can MDZS be a trope itself?

Relationships: Dan Heng x Reader, TBD

About: Inspired by MDZS/The Untamed. Although it won’t be danmei and will deviate with the fact it’s more chronological than having long periods of flashbacks (yes I’m looking at you Untamed, why tf did you spend so many episodes on flashbacks and then everything after just went by so quickly??? But that’s just my opinion -- anyways). Obviously not everything is going to be 100% accurate since this is a fanfic inspired by MDZS/The Untamed and Star Rail isn’t that.

Reader Gender: Neutral

Tags: Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, guzhuang, Honkai Star Rail x Reader, hsr x reader, gn! Reader, gn! Reader, dan heng x  reader, hsr dan heng, dan heng x you,  suggestive, resurrection

♡ ꒰ ◞ ◟ ꒱⌒)ᦱ 𓈒 ૮₍ ´ . ˕ .` ₎ა 𓈒 ⊹ ໒ ꐦ ｀ヮ ´ ა

Blade x Reader

Trope: Princ(ess) and knight

Relationships: Blade x Reader, Dan Heng & Reader (platonic)

About: Blade is assigned to be the personal guard of lord/lady by none other than their brother, Dan Heng. The lord/lady only thought of Blade as a sword and shield, they never thought they’d ever fall for the man with many mysteries. Yet they know, that those who hold many mysteries are the ones most likely to betray and use. That was just the way of court life. However, a small part of them just hopes -- wishes that Blade would never betray or use them for ulterior motives.

Reader Gender: Neutral

Tags: Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, guzhuang, Honkai Star Rail x Reader, hsr x reader, gn! Reader, gn! Reader, blade x reader, hsr blade, hsr blade x reader, blade x you, hsr blade x you, protective! Blade

♡ ꒰ ◞ ◟ ꒱⌒)ᦱ 𓈒 ૮₍ ´ . ˕ .` ₎ა 𓈒 ⊹ ໒ ꐦ ｀ヮ ´ ა

Luocha x Reader

Trope: Immortal and mortal

Relationships: Luocha x Reader, Fu Xuan (just filling in the role of the monk)

About: Based off of the Legend of the White Snake. Deviation will occur. Reader doesn’t have a sister, and Luocha is an actual doctor not scholar.  Reader will not be imprisoned in a pagoda (like is some shows/rendition of the story).

Reader Gender: Neutral

Tags: Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, guzhuang, Honkai Star Rail x Reader, hsr x reader, gn! Reader,  luocha x reader, hsr luocha, luocha x you, hsr luocha x you

One-Shots

Jing Yuan x Reader

About: Very loosely based off of Fuhao, the Shang dynasty warrior queen. Reader is is a priestess and  a warrior, going off to fight battles and returning victorious until one day, she didn’t return. Stricken with grief, Jing Yuan prepares a burial and tomb for his beloved queen.

Reader Gender: Female

Tags: Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, guzhuang, Honkai Star Rail x Reader, hsr x reader, gn! Reader, jing yuan x reader, hsr jing yuan, honkai star rail jing yuan, jing yuan x you,

♡ ꒰ ◞ ◟ ꒱⌒)ᦱ 𓈒 ૮₍ ´ . ˕ .` ₎ა 𓈒 ⊹ ໒ ꐦ ｀ヮ ´ ა

Dan Heng x Reader

About: Dan Heng (Imbibitor Lunae) takes a stroll for a break. Then stumbles upon a  unique looking figure: softly resting atop their hair were two long feathers of grey color. He had never seen someone like them before, so curiosity getting the best of him, he approaches them. Only for them to turn and look at him. That’s when he froze, both in embarrassment and in fear. Da peng, the only child of the phoenix to feast upon dragons. Da peng, the one who stands before him with a curious gaze.

Reader Gender: Neutral

Tags: Fluff, silly, no dan heng they're not gonna eat you, Honkai Star Rail x Reader, hsr x reader, gn! Reader, dan heng x  reader, hsr dan heng, dan heng x you, chinese mythology

by the way if we're mutuals you're always free to

tag me into things [your art, games, etc etc]

"bother me" with asks

send me reminders if I missed something because I have memory issues and tumblr is stupid sometimes

ask for my steam or toyhouse or pinterest or p much anything tbh. if I'm uncomfortable I'll tell you.

do you feel like a young god?

synopsis ☆ blade wishes that his path had never collided with yours.

content info — smut (minors stay away 😡 i'm warning you), ANGST, fem! reader, regular fic but with a twist on the format. violence at the very end so be aware of that.

word count — 2.1k words.

author's note — this has been in my drafts forever. normally i don't write angst but i was listening to halsey's badlands album & it instantly gave birth to this fic. the entire album is so blade coded that it hurts. anyways this is just 100% pain and smut, there is no comfort. nonetheless i hope you enjoy this drabble and its unplanned christmas theme (i apologize in advance 😓) ALSO i'm working on reqs as we speak i swear

BLADE has never had time to entertain romantic affairs, or even indulge in spontaneous sexual encounters. such matters reeked of the kind of superficial sentimentality that he's long discarded due to its blatant, disgusting lack of appeal. since he’s remembered, all he’s ever really wanted is to taste death, to be enrobed within its earnest invitation and to finally relieve himself of his all-consuming burden. there was no room for anything else—especially something as trivial as fulfilling the human heart’s wishes.

YOU didn't plan to get involved with the agenda of the stellaron hunters, but perhaps your hopes were ultimately futile when your older sister was their very leader. really, what's funny was the fact that even though you two were related by blood, and were raised together, you only shared two traits: a sharp gaze tinted with magenta and the useful gift of perception. otherwise, you might as well have been nameless strangers. you were kind, forgiving, and preferred to heal rather than harm; kafka was the complete opposite, her manicured fingers gleefully stained with scarlet.

BLADE remembers finding himself in an unusual state of confusion when he had first met you. your appearance in itself contrasted against your team members; whereas they wore dark shades of black, purple, and red, you were clad in smooth clothes of pure silver, which didn’t make sense since they would end up dirtied and tainted either way. he remembers disapproving of your very presence because you seemed entirely unfit to fulfill your job—to kill mercilessly and to follow elio's script without an ounce of remorse or hesitation. "you don't belong here," he'd sneered, his vexation only increasing when he saw the docile smile you'd given him in response.

YOU weren't ever truly angered by the blatant acts of disrespect that blade displayed during the earliest stages of your connection. some would argue that you possessed the patience of a saint, and though you wouldn't exactly disprove such a claim, you'd say that it extended far beyond that. there was something you saw behind the scarlet hue of blade's gaze, something that lain dormant behind all the hostility. for a reason unknown, you soon grew the desire to discover it, and to maybe in turn help the man in some way. it didn't matter if a part of your soul had to be sacrificed—you would do it.

BLADE found it all too easy to decline your attempts. it was a continuous, repetitive process, where you’d seek him out and offer a few questions that seemed unassuming at first, and he’d respond by pointing out the obvious holes ruining your facade. he didn’t know why you were suddenly so eager to uncover information about him—or, to “properly acquaint yourself” as you’d innocently described it—but he didn’t care either way because it wasn’t worth trying to. at least those were the words he told himself for the first four months.

YOU managed to break down the weakest parts of blade’s walls by the fifth month. it was slow, and arduous, and yes, a bit frustrating—hearing him curse you out wasn’t really a motivating experience—but ultimately your efforts prevailed in the end. finally, if only a little bit, he opened up to you, and he began giving short but actual responses instead of a mere grunt or a simple click of the tongue. and so he started filling in small snippets about himself. how he found pleasure in the familiarity of a sword. how he despised the way your sister called him ‘bladie.’ how kuding tea was one of his preferred drinks. how he couldn’t remember the last time he dreamt in his slumber.

BLADE was rather astounded by the change in behavior you seemed to have withdrawn from him. at first he denied the reality and brushed off the occurrence as him simply taking the easier route, so that he didn’t continue to waste unnecessary effort on dodging your pesky questions. but here was the truth—he wasn’t lazy, ever. he always did things for a reason, always justified his actions with some kind of logic, no matter how immoral. something strange was happening, and he wasn’t entirely sure why, but he still tried to maintain a form of apathetic distance. blade convinced himself that things were remaining strictly professional. even as his pale hands somehow found themselves entangled within your soft hair during one stormy night, and even as his chapped lips pressed against yours.

YOU were surprised but not at all unwelcoming of the unorthodox suggestion that blade gave you one day. in a tone that betrayed no emotion, he asked—well, perhaps demanded—that you two enter a sort of arrangement that he called “being each other’s respective stress relief.” in a more straightforward, explicit manner, you two would use each other for physical pleasure whenever needed. that was where the intimacy started, and it was where it ended. with your heart beating a bit more than it should have, you agreed. blade smiled—a small, predatory kind of smile—before engulfing you in a harsh kiss, backing you into the wall as his hand squeezed around your neck.

BLADE relished the sounds that he was able to elicit from you—sweet, pretty little moans, desperate, high-pitched whines, and of course, the breathless mantra of his own name. every ounce of it made him swell with smug pride, and made his cock harden even more. your eyes would shut tightly whenever you felt particularly overwhelmed with pleasure, and of course he’d always force you to open them. after all he needed you to see just how much of a slut you were for him, just how much he’d ruin you with the marks he’d leave all over your skin and the countless orgasms he’d trigger within you. somewhere in the very back of his mind, there was a faint voice that warned him of the territory he was threatening to cross, just barely short of touching the edge. but he ignored it in favor of savoring the depraved sense of exhilaration that electrified his veins, knowing that he was the one corrupting his colleague’s sweet, innocent, naive little sister.

YOU found your heart beating impossibly faster every time your lips met his, every time he quietly snuck into your quarters and whispered things that were only for you to hear. of course it was only inevitable that you fell in love with the man himself. long forgotten was your goal to solely fix him because in a strange, almost twisted way, it was like you were healing yourself with every scorching touch of his fingers, every relentless thrust of his hips. and for better or for worse, it felt like he was starting to care for you against all odds, and you saw it through the littlest of things. how his dull scarlet eyes seemed to brighten just for a second when he saw you, how he started to stay the night after he ravished you, how his fingers traced your beautifully bruised skin with an uncharacteristic gentleness when he thought you were asleep. you loved it, and soon his embrace was the only thing you learned to crave.

BLADE seemed like he was caught in a peculiar trance ever since you two had agreed to the "stress relief" arrangement. it was unimaginable, really—or at least it should have been. not once had he felt such unbridled emotion for a woman, or for any person in general. he detested the sensation at first. hated how vulnerable it made him feel. so, whenever he felt particularly exposed, whenever you smiled at him for too long, he used your body as a distraction. he'd mark your skin as if he was nothing more than a mindless animal, would pin both your wrists above your head as he snarled, hips smacking against yours. the strategy would work for some time, but the moment he saw you fall into a peaceful slumber—exhausted from all the rigorous activity—the emotions would come rushing at him again, full force. soon there was a voice at the back of his mind, whispering of how he was falling into a trap. one that he had arrogantly, unknowingly set for himself.

YOU started to feel a shift in blade's behavior, noticing how he became more distant as the days passed. your conversations shortened and shortened until they became almost reminiscent of the ones you'd have at the beginning of your relationship. your nightly sessions dwindled in frequency, eventually reaching the point where he barely even knocked on your door at all. all of it drove you to the brink of insanity, worry consuming every ounce of your being until you couldn't handle it anymore. "what the hell?" you had hissed, pulling the man aside once silver wolf and your sister had retreated to their quarters for the night. "why won't you talk to me, blade? what did i do?" but even that didn't work. all he did was scoff and push past your figure, shaking off your grip when you reached out for him. the next day, you were so distraught that, in a fit of desperation, you asked your sister for help. but the only thing you received was a look of warped pity and an obscure comment. "once the candle burns out, the room grows dark again." kafka murmured.

BLADE couldn't handle any of it anymore, his seemingly endless endurance having reached past its limit. he hated the way you looked at him in confusion and anger, and most of all, betrayal, as if he had stabbed you in the back. he might as well have. but above that, he hated the way you reminded him of his curse's weight. in another life, he had thought of immortality as a gift—a gleaming trophy awarded only to those who had gone above and beyond to prove their superiority. how foolish he had been. immortality was a burden, its pressure so insurmountable that it felt heavier than holding up the sky itself. from the very beginning, he'd known that being immortal meant that he'd have to watch the people around him fall prey to death's embrace, but somehow that simple fact evaded his mind when he—it still pains him to admit this—developed feelings for you. he wasn't quite sure if what he felt was love in its raw form, but he was pretty damn certain that it was the closest he was going to ever get. because as selfishly and disgustingly sentimental as it was, the last thing he wanted was to see you wither with age, until you were nothing more than another corpse. and so with a shaky breath, and an unstable heart, he decided to handle the situation in the only way he knew how to.

the truth was that YOU truly were one of the most perceptive people out there, even as heartbreak dulled your senses. so you heard the muted footsteps and saw the swiftly approaching shadow. you knew who it was, even without sparing a glance. still, you remained motionless, your movements almost painfully frozen as your eyes slid shut. tears silently rolled down your face, staining your skin even before the sword pierced through your chest. crimson seeped through your silver blouse like ink on a blank canvas. you fell to the ground, exhaling unshakily, unrivaled pain blooming within every inch of your body. you felt the strength being drained from your spirit, but you mustered the will to meet blade's scarlet gaze. "guess i should have expected this, huh?" you murmur, fingers moving to feel where he'd stabbed you. silently, blade crouched down to your level, his expression unreadable. you reached for his hand, neither of you flinching when his skin became stained with your blood.

"all of this was a mistake," BLADE muttered, tone betraying not even an ounce of emotion. still, he kept his fingers intertwined with yours, and that action alone was enough. "my fate is already determined, but you sealed your own the second you approached me." the wind was cold and unforgiving around the two of you, its invisible talons recklessly combing through the man's ebony strands of hair. but blade paid it no mind, not even when a particularly harsh gust threatened to overwhelm your last words. and as time would tell, those were the very words that would haunt him in the future.

"i'd seal my fate over and over if it meant that i'd see you happy again." you whispered, and for once you failed to notice one crucial detail.

for the first and last time, blade's vision grew blurry from his tears.

Worth more than what you take me for.

ayato x gn!reader

summary: in which he had to choose between two people including you, in a life and death situation.

disclaimers: swearing (there's like one lol), kidnapping, ooc traveler.

4,033 words and 21,891 characters.

a/n: dayum. this took a while and i did not expect to write this much.

you've known ayato since childhood. your parents has been serving their clan for generations, being one if their most trusted allies. and you're no exception.

growing up with people with high authorities was such a privilege. you remember when you first met lord ayato and lady ayaka. they both were very the same yet so different. so elegant, disciplined and was well mature for their age. you felt some kind of barrier between you and the siblings but they turned out just as kind as they look. they were easy to converse with. naturally, after some time of serving them, you would have gotten closer. and in fact, you did. although you thought, you and ayato's relationship was... rather special.

for some reason, ayato treats you very differently compared to others. not in a bad way. he often calls you to his workplace, make you sit there and drink tea with him. he takes you out to go eat dinner at uyuu restaurant when you both have finished work. he requested you to be his personal assistant while ayaka had thoma. and because of this, you get to spend more time with him than anyone else. at the beginning, you always thought ayato would be a cold and strict person. but it turns out to be quite the opposite. okay- maybe he is more quiet and colder than others, but that's towards other people. especially to those he only has business with.

ayato is surprisingly different to what you originally thought. he would try to match your humor, often speaking informally like the way you would around your closest friends just to match with you. lately he's been spending his free time with you too. he noticed you liked tea a lot, much like him. so both if you had made it a habit to have tea at the estate's balcony while the sun is going down. watching the sunset together. it felt really romantic for you- but you quickly shook your head and remembered that to him- you're just his work partner. but is that really the case for him? because he was much more observant than you thought. especially about you. he notices any slight change in the mood with you. so there was a particular day when you were gloomy because of being so tired. but he noticed this immediately.

"Shall we take a break?"

-- and you don't know why but your heart skipped a beat when he said that. you thought it was funny-- how he would do all of this for you. and at times like these, you start to feel like a special person to him. just because he always relies on you compared to others. you thought you were special to him. until she came.

who is she? she looks so... bold and pretty. just one look at her and you can already tell she has a strong personality but has a gentle aura. her blonde hair swaying so glamorously in the wind. her otherworldly clothes making her stand out among people. the way she moves makes it embarrassing to stand beside her. she seems so... perfect in everyone's eyes. unfortunately, that includes ayato's. you don't remember having a guest in ayato's schedule when you were fixing it, so why's she here?

you found out the answer really quickly. everyone at the estate has been talking about her and... ayato lately. you don't know why though, which is weird- because as his assistant you should be the first to know about things regarding him. it's even weirder that ayato had not summoned you after work has ended. 'is this where our afternoon tea sessions end?' you thought to yourself. so you found it upon yourself to just be straightforward and ask others what's the gossip all about. luckily, there was another servant nearby. she quickly leaned closer to you and whispered.

"h-haven't you heard?... it seems that lord ayato had taken a liking to lady ayaka's guest."

you were surprised. really. it wasn't even his guest yet he bothered to entertain her. just who is she?

"who-... who is her lady's guest?" you nervously questioned.

"I heard it was... the traveler? was it? lord ayato visited her personally! they're just so perfect with eachother!- i can't help it." the servant squeals in excitement, contrary to your look in horror. you try not to make it obvious though. but you shouldn't even be feeling this way. why does it hurt? there's a sharp feeling on your chest that you just can't get out of. it just hurts to know the reason why he stopped your afternoon tea sessions, dinner hangouts, or just even talking with eachother is because of another girl! you were in no place to get frustrated since you were just a servant. nothing more, nothing less. to him.

you only see him through work now. the urge to invite him to a tea break and have a conversation with him while watching the sunset is getting stronger everyday. and who are you to resist?

"lord ayato... wou-" before you could even finish your sentence, he stopped you. your heart was beating so fast. 'oh no. did I do something wrong?' thoughts like these were circling through your mind.

"i told you to just call me 'ayato' y/n"

--and he chuckles a bit at the end. and so do you. you felt so... relieved. your worries instantly washed away. you felt at ease knowing that you are special to him. i mean- he doesn't do this with others does he?

"ah- my bad... but as I was saying, would you like to have some afternoon tea break with me? I mean, we used to do that everyday but it has been a while since we last did soo..."

and at this point you were so sure he wouldn't decline. he's been less busy this week, what could he possibly do that's far too important to even refu-

"my apologies, y/n. i've already scheduled a tea break with someone else this afternoon. maybe next time if i have the time. i promise i'll make it up to you. however, you could accompany us if you would like." and your mind. empty. the world seems like it stopped for you. not only was your only time to hang out with him gone but you were also replaced. all this time... he was with someone else. you had a gut feeling of who that someone else might be. but you couldn't hold a grudge, you have no right to.

"i-... i look forward to it." nope. you absolutely don't, look forward to it. that day will eventually come though. you just didn't expect it to come, three days later. how quick. you were filled with mixed of different emotions. you hate to admit it- but... you are jealous of who this person might be. but at the same time you're glad to just see ayato again! sadly, for work. when he summoned you, you thought-- 'oh is this finally it? will we finally hang out together again?' until you realize it's just that you will just accompany him to go to a somewhat date with someone else. compared to you and ayato just drinking tea at the estate's balcony, he had prepared so much as to have tea and snacks at the shore. alas, you could finally meet this person. once again. as you realize it was her. the traveler.

"traveler, did you wait long? i'm sorry, you could've ju..."

and their conversation went deaf on your ears. the ayato kamisato. speaking informally, and giving out tea invitations to the traveler. when it used to be you... why are you feeling like this? isn't it obvious. the traveler is way prettier, stronger and better than you. comparing yourself to the traveler is already such an embarrassing thing to do. ni one could compare to her. she's out there defeating monsters and fighting archons. while you're here holding a grudge on a person who doesn't even know you just because you're jealous you were easily replaced. but who were you to be replaced when you weren't even his to begin with. this is why you feel guilty. because you think that you have no. right. to feel this way. it's just now that you realize how much of an overthinker you are. however your thought were cut short when you hear ayato calling out your name.

"y/n, i'll go to to the comfort room for a bit. please entertain the traveler while i'm away."

he says.

"understood." and so you take a seat at ayato's chair before. and despite not wanting to have a talk with the traveler, it is still your duty and you would not abandon it for just some mere feelings.

"greetings, i'm y/n. it's a pleasure to meet you traveler." you bow slightly and give the smile you usually show to guests. a smile you practiced countless of times infront of a mirror. "you might have not heard about me though. so allow me t-"

"oh i know. you're ayato's personal assistant. he mentioned it to me before." the traveler states. and you were genuinely shocked but also... curious.

"is that so?... then, has he said any other things about me before?" you nervously asked. though the nervously part may not be obvious to others. the traveler sees right through this. and she giggles. but nods. "would you mind serving me some tea? the tea ayato has been serving me is delicious however i've tasted it countless of times from our past tea parties. so I would like to have a different flavor this time."

the word 'countless' implies that they have been doing this for a while now and you already know that. but it still stirrs a feeling of jealous inside you.

"of course. luckily i brought a different tea flavor for myself as well. let me go get the ingredients from my bag." you return after brewing the tea and pouring it into the cups. how thoughtful that the traveler had already prepared the cups for you.

"this tastes a lot like lavender... melon." the traveler says.

"hm. because it is. you have a great sense of taste." you reply. from this points and so on. you don't really know what to talk about. the atmosphere is really awkward. but you still try to strike up a conversation because she is a guest.

"s-so... what brings you here to the kamisato estate?" you ask. in which the traveler replied with "originally, ayaka invited me. and ayato next." you don't know if it's just your eyes playing tricks on you or did the corner of her mouth raise upwards for a bit. you brush it off. maybe the grudge you have on her is going too far. i mean, it's not like you hate her though. but it's also not like you like her.

by now you've almost finished your tea. same goes for the traveler. you only had to endure a little bit more of this atmosphere and her because ayato should be back soon. so you lowered your guard and relaxed a bit. this whole time you only stared at your teacup, but it wouldn't hurt to take a glimpse at the traveler right? so slowly but hesitantly, you lift your eyes up to see her. already staring at you. but you couldn't break away from the eye contact. especially because she just asked you something you're also asking yourself.

"y/n. tell me. do you like ayato?"

despite having a smile on her face as she asked this, her tone was rather cold. it sent shivers down your spine. you don't know why she's asking this. but you also don't know the answer to that question.

...do you like ayato?

"I'm..."

that was the last thing you said before you went unconscious. before that, your vision went blurry and your head was getting dizzy. how could this be? all the years i've spent serving the kamisato clan, this has never happened.

a loud ringing on your ears forced you to wake up, you could hear numerous voices as you slowly opened your eyes. your vision was still blurry but you could figure out that someone was huge was standing before you.

"it's awake."

'it's? what do these people take me for'. --is what you would have thought when you realized you've been kidnapped and the kidnappers are a group of nobushis. you look at your surroundings, counting just how many they are until you finally notice someone beside you. the traveler. she's still unconscious. looking at her made you realize that you're also tied up and is unable to speak. screaming is no use. you seem to be in a... cave? you're not so sure because you don't remember a cave this huge at inazuma. you try to recall what happened and why you ended up here until you heard something a nobushi said.

"ya think he's coming here?"

"i heard he fancies these two. of course he will."

he? who's he? considering they kidnapped you and the traveler, don't tell me they're talking about him. not lord aya--

"oh well look who's here."

your eyes widen in shock when you turn to the direction they're facing. he's standing right there. ayato kamisato has come to save you. ...and the traveler. something moves beside you and you see the traveler, already awake, with tears in her eyes. isn't the traveler supposed to be strong and mighty? you don't understand, how were they able to kidnap her. in what situation was she in for her to become so vulnerable and be captured? i mean before all of this she was only with you-- !! your eyes widen. you saw ayato, ...glaring at you.

why was he glaring? you were in a pitiful situation right now, yet he glares at you as if you commited a crime. you can't believe it but... 'don't tell me thinks... i poisoned the traveler.' archons. he definitely thinks just that. the way his eyes softens as he looks to the girl beside you confirms so.

"give us the document. maybe we'll let both of them go." one of the nobushis spoke up. documents? what documents are they talking about? you handle all the documents for ayato, could it be he's been keeping something from you? are they comparing lives to a piece of document? surely ayato would-

"no. ...who sent you?" his voice cold as ice. the world has been surprising you a lot today. how important could that document be for it to be able to compare to a person's life. "straightforward i see... too bad, if you don't give us the documents any time we'll kill both of your precious little friends and this place will blow up soon." one of the nobushis spoke up again, it was the same guy as earlier. normally, ayato would be able to beat a few nobushis on his own. but he's way outnumbered right now. for some reason he knows that you and the traveler was taken here, yet he still came alone. you look beside you and see that the traveler is now crying. compared to the mighty traveler you seem to be too calm. you shouldn't be, in a situation like this. is it because ayato is now here? although he probably hates your guts already. but you just trust him way too much.

"...not giving in eh? then let's see..."

the nobushi paused for a moment, seemingly thinking about another way to make ayato give in and for them to gain something out of him. the nobushi smirked.

"...if you give us some mora... we'll let ya choose one of them to go with. give us the documents, you all can go home safe and sound. give us none and... you'll die with them." and finally, you felt... fear. your heart was racing. you didn't know it was this bad. earlier you already knew that you're this close to death's door but you weren't panicking at all. you also don't mind dying if it was for ayato. from an early age you already knew that you had to serve and protect their clan no matter what-- even if you have to pay the price of your own life. so why panic now? is it because the nobushis are going to far with their negotiations? is it because you're knocking right at death's door? or maybe it's because you're afraid that ayato will abandon you. choosing someone else, right infront of you in a critical situation like this. but surely he wouldn't, right?

" ...traveler," he throws a pouch of mora to the ground towards the nobushis. you remember when you both were strolling around at inazuma city after dinner. when he mentions that ever since he saw you looking through the stalls but not buying anything, he figured he'd buy them for you. so he always carried a pouch of mora. for you... and not for anyone el-

".. let's go." what? are you hearing things right? but judging by the way they pull the traveler and untie her, it seems that you are. but you wish you weren't. it turns out he really would choose someone else. the traveler lunges to embrace ayato. seeing ayato slowly hug her back, patting her back to calm down her tears and letting her cry on his shoulder just made your broken heart break even further. you get it. with the traveler's back facing you as they embrace, you take a glimpse of ayato until his gaze lands on you.

" ...y/n..."

his tone was somewhat... soft. you assume on a lot of things and right now you don't wanna expect but, you are. is this his last words to me? is he telling me he's sorry? is he gonna tell me how he regrets doing this? and that he never really wanted this to happen? and that i'm someone special to him, viewing me more than just a serv-

" --how dare you."

...and his gaze turns dark. what for? you didn't even do anything. his eyes glares at you as if you both were never friends. or maybe you were never really a friend to him. and he always thought of you as a mere servant. just like the rest. you were just- too naive. so foolish. thinking you were special. special just because he went looking for you and bought medicine and special rare tea in a day when you were sick for work. special cause he always invited you for tea breaks, conversing with you and only you. special because he always relies on you, and you allowed yourself to be relied on, --when you had no one to rely on for yourself. was those years of being with him nothing for him? was it that worthless in his eyes? that you could just be replaced and abandoned any time? you thought you were someone special in his life when he treated you differently compared to others.

but what about the way you treat him?

you treat him as if you were nothing without him. because he was everything to you. you were only this happy with him. only him. if you think of the most memorable memory you've ever had, it would include him. the day you first met him, and today. the last day you're seeing ayato. you watch them slowly turn their heels to leave. and all of a sudden you spoke. you couldn't help it, you spoke without even thinking. and now you don't know what to say. or maybe-- you just don't want to say it.

"a-ayato..." 'did you ever think if me as more than a friend?'... heck- more than a worker even. you wanted to ask just that. but you wouldn't. cause you couldn't. "...thank you, but I did nothing wrong." you say as you smile. that was your final words before the traveler and ayato takes more steps towards another path, probably leading to the exit. you hesitantly and slowly lift your eyes up to take one. last. look to ayato and... the traveler. and last time your eyes were playing tricks on you, but now you realize it wasn't. cause she was smirking again. smirking at you. leaving you to death.

anger. shame. resentment.

fury rises inside of you. you were raised to be patient with others. it was your job. so you've never felt this way for someone before. you wanted to scream but you couldn't. all you could think about was the traveler.

...the traveler!! the traveler!! the traveler.

it was all because of her that you're in a state like this. ever since she came, things changed. she was the person ayato replaced you with. the person he chose to spend the rest of his life with. and the reason why he threw away all of his memories with you and treated you like nothing. he chose a girl he just met instead of a childhood friend companion who has done nothing but pledge loyalty to him. now that you think about it... for ayato you would risk your life for him, die for him even. but he wouldn't do that for you. he only showed up for the traveler when you thought he came to save you.

it felt like your world was crumbling right before your eyes, watching them walk away, leaving you to death. you could mean that literally since anytime now you might be reduced to nothing but also... ayato is your world. to you he is everything. growing up with him, growing with him. he really is that special to you.

too bad,

he doesn't even see you as anything more than a servant. to him you were, not. special. at. all.

their footsteps has slowly faded away. they left. they've left you. behind, to die. it seems... this is it. you hear the nobushis chuckling and talking amongst eachother,

"geez... what a show! anyway.., are the preparations complete?"

"really? then we could go!"

"where did she say we would meet her again?"

"that bitch... making us do all of this. if it weren't for the mora then I wouldn't have agreed."

her? who's her? who's she? these thoughts seem all too familiar, and once again, you got your answer quickly.

"oh the traveler asked us to meet her at jinren island." a nobushi replied. just when you thought your hatred for her couldn't get any worse. however your thoughts were completely cut off when the nobushis all started leaving you. not even batting a single eye. you remembered them mentioning something that would leave you to ashes here. what was it again? if you recall quickly it was probably a-- "a bomb," --a nobushi says to you. as if he could read your mind. "a few minutes from now, once we all leave, this place will get wrecked. including... you." the nobushi laughs. you have never been this lonely before. i mean, you always had ayato beside you. but now that he personally left you for someone else- who do you have now? you have no answer for that. or maybe it is the answer. nothing. no one is there to help you. your reason too live us gone. atleast, you served your life's purpose before you die. you were never really that close to others including your family because of ayato. so you have nothing to lose now. but... you wish you could atleast take revenge on the traveler... even though you hate that idea. revenge isn't something you would even consider but.. the traveler is a different case.

today has given you particularly a lot of last things. like your last thoughts just now. before feeling a strong burst of energy and the brightest light you've ever seen. and everything turns dark.

...your eyes are closed and you can't move your body. but you're hearing something... footsteps? oh, a voice.

" ...how pitiful,"

you fall into deep sleep once again after feeling such an electrifying strike on your back.

... just who was that?

DONT STOP TALKING ABOUT PALESTINE! DONT STOP TAKING ABOUT GAZA!

DONT LET THEM MAKE YOU FORGET!!