Our Local Newspaper Ran A Story About The Legendary Graffiti Artist Who Recently Passed Away And. Literally

Could I not though

Mabel has a crippling Energy Drink addiction. She has about 5 monsters in a day. It’s to compensate for her undiagnosed ADHD.

@ no one bc I'm a lonely ass idiot

themes commonly found in international friendships

- ‘u dont have (insert food/music/restaurant here) over there??’ - ‘wait what time is it. shouldnt u be asleep’ - alternatively: timezoned/clockblocked again - ‘do u need a hug. have a virtual hug’ - weird slang terms - ‘i will fight everyone thats mean to u. i will fight them rn’ - vague embarrassment regarding ur accent - ‘dont maKE ME COME OVER THERE’ - ‘oh yeah i have a friend who lives in (insert country here) and apparently’ - no real hugs :(( - suffering - fahrenheit vs celsius - the measuring of things in feet fucks one of u up, probably

(Very oblivious) brother: lady's first

Me: STRANGLE THE CHILD

I hate A03 so much because I'm looking for a good billford fic, and the first thing that pops up is Billcipher/mabel, and I just sit there like excuse me???????

Someone ever say something, and you have to remind yourself that the average stranger does not infact find death threats funny.

I didn't know I had Twitter

part two of Stan being a single father to an adopted child

this purely exists for the two people who asked for it. @masontheevildm and @kid-in-th3-k0rn3r

hope this lives up to your expectations.

part one is here

Stan takes his small child to gravity falls

The road to gravity falls was a long one. Stan was going to be driving most of the day. He thought about leaving Lola at home, Ford sounded unstable and he wouldn’t be able to handle it if she got hurt. But the truth was, Lola didn’t deal well with separation. He tried to put her in daycare when they first settled down in Forks, but she wouldn’t have it. The first day was hell and the second was even worse. She was scared Stan was going to abandon her. Stan knew he had to deal with the separation anxiety some time, but that time wasn’t now. 

Lola was strapped into the passenger seat of the Stanleymobile. She was too small for it, but Stan never cared for road safety laws, besides seatbelts of course. She bought a notebook with her coloured pencils, and her favourite stuffed animal. A blue axolotl plush that she called “Lizard” that Stan bought for her from some tourist trap. She sat, colouring, as Stan drove down the bumpy country roads.

“Stan, where are we going?” Lola asked, “Lizard wants to know.”

“Does he now” Stan replied, “ well if Lizard wants to know, and not Lola, I guess I’ll just have to speak lizard.”

Stan then proceeded to make the most obscene ‘lizard’ noises known to man, causing Lola to burst out in a fit of giggles and drop her pencils. Stan couldn’t help but smile.

“Ok now Lola wants to know” she said.

Stan’s smile faltered. He never really explained his family to her. Really the only family that she knew of was Stan’s mother, and that was a complete accident. Thinking about his family didn’t fill Stan with particularly happy thoughts. Family always left you behind, to fend for yourself. No one exemplified that like Ford.

But years ago, when Lola was a toddler, too young to remember, he promised to always be honest with her. She had just realised Stan lied to everyone else, and was scared that he was lying to her about loving her. That didn’t matter much to Lola these days, now that she understood why Stan would lie so much. But it stuck with Stan. He promised to protect her, and that meant she had to trust him. That meant honesty, at least to him.

“Well Lola,” Stan started with a deep breath, “we’re going to see my brother.”

“You have a brother? Since when?”

“Since I was born, kiddo. We’re twins. Anyway, I have 2 brothers.”

“Why is your brother a secret?” Lola looked at Stan with wide, curious eyes. Stan did not feel ready for this.

“We- well we had a fight. Haven’t spoken since.”

“Since when?”

“Since before ya were born, ya little twerp.”

Lola was quiet, deep in thought. She seemed to be having some sort of mental conversation with Lizard. Then she looked up at Stan.

“Stan… was it your brother on the telephone?” She asked, a hint of nervousness seeping through.

“Yeah, sweetheart. That was my brother. I think”

Lola clung onto Lizard tight, and looked out at the snow.

“He sounded scary” she said, barely a whisper.

Stan and Lola had gotten into dangerous situations before. He knew it took a lot to scare her. She was good at putting on a brave face. Whatever Ford had said to her on the phone must’ve freaked her out a lot.

“You’re right, Lo. He did sound scary. Did he say anything to you? Anything in particular that scared you?”

Lola was tearing up now, as she nodded. Stan decided to push a little further.

“Sweetie, can you tell me what he said?”

The road was quiet for a bit. Stan didn’t say anything. He wanted Lola to have space to process. Then, like a leaky tap, she spoke.

“He said… my real mum and dad… he said they hated me… so they sent me away…”

Stan stopped the car and looked at Lola. She avoided his gaze.

“Lola, look. I didn’t know your dad, so I can’t speak for him. But I know your mum loved you SO much.”

Lola spoke into her plush, tears in her eyes. “Then why did she go away?”

Stan pulled her into a hug.

“Aw, baby. She didn’t want to go, she wanted to take care of you but she couldn’t. See she was sick. Sick in a way that made it so hard for her to get better.”

Lola didn’t say anything, just stayed clutched onto Stan’s chest. Stan stroked her hair, whispered ‘I love you’s into the air hoping she would catch them. Eventually, Lola crawled out of Stan’s arms and put her seatbelt back on.

“Stan, why are we going to see your scary brother?” She whispered.

“Well, Lola. I think he isn’t okay right now. I reckon he needs help. So we’re going to help him, whether he wants it or not.”

“Is he sick like my mama was?”

“…

I sure hope not”

Lola considered this for a while. Stan was clutching the steering wheel hard, his knuckles going white. He couldn’t deny that Ford sounded… off. Drugs would make sense. But the thought of Ford ruining his life on drugs was terrifying in an of itself.

Lola looked back at Stan.

“Why are we helping your scary brother?” She says, brows furrowed, “he’s mean, and I don’t know him.”

“Cus he’s my brother and I love him, even if he’s being mean.”

Lola didn’t look like she believed him, so he continued.

“Look, sweetheart. When you love someone, ya gotta do your best ta help them. Ya don’t stop loving someone if they’re being mean or if ya haven’t spoken to ‘em in a decade. If someone ya love needs help, ya do ya best to help them, ok?”

With that, Stan reached out and ruffled Lola’s hair. 

“Would you love me if I was mean?” Asked Lola. She was looking at Lizard.

Stan chuckled. “Kid, the stars would have to fall outta the sky for me to stop loving ya.”

Lola had fallen asleep by the time they reached Portland. Halfway to gravity falls. It was around noon, so Stan figured they should probably stop for lunch. And ask around, see if anyone actually knew where gravity falls was. He only had a vague idea based on what his mother told him.

Luckily, Stan knew a guy. An old buddy, Ferg, who delivered eggs all across Oregon. He also was the guy to go to for forged documents in the Pacific Northwest. He was the one to get Stan and Lola their current IDs. He stopped by Ferg’s garage, where he was working on his truck. Stan didn’t want to wake up Lola, so he picked her up and they walked into the garage.

“Hey, Ferg!” Stan yelled. Ferg turned around, a wide smile on his face.

“Well if it isn’t my old pal Stanley!” Ferg replied with the same enthusiasm. ”How are ya! How’s the kid?”

“We’re alright, Ferg. But look, we’re kinda in a rush. This ain’t a social visit.”

Ferg nodded, seeming to understand the edge in Stan’s voice. He led Stan to a small table, offering a seat to Stan. They sat, and Ferg gave Stan a cup of coffee.

“What ya need, Stan. Your cover get blown?”

“No, nothing like that. It’s more a family emergency.”

Ferg’s face twisted with concern. “Family? Last I checked, ya said you had none.”

Stan looked away.

“Look. Ferg. I told ya before, I’m not gonna give you my entire story. I just need to know how to get to Gravity Falls.”

Ferg paused, and glared at Stan.

“That hick town? Strangest place I’ve been. What could possibly be there that’s got us so worked up?”

A beat of silence stretched for eternity before Stan answered.

“My brother.”

Stan had told Ferg the vaguest details about Ford. It was hard not to, they got drunk together on Colorado in 1974, and ended up in jail together. And Ferg was a personable guy. It kinda just spilled out of Stan, really. He was pretty sure he had cried. Which explained the face Ferg was giving him right now.

“Ya brother ya don’t talk to? The one you said left ya behind?”

“He needs me, Ferg.”

Ferg just nodded. He got a peice of paper and started mapping out a route, making small talk.

“Your Lola sure can sleep through anything” he said. 

“Ha, yeah. She’s a heavy sleeper.”

“Takes after her Pa.”

Stan felt himself blush.

“look, Ferg. I told ya, I ain’t her Pa. She has a real dad somewhere out there”

“You’re her dad in all the ways that matter, Stan. You raised her.”

Stan shrugged.

“I killed her ma. It’s the least I could do.”

Ferg gave Stan a strange look. He had always insisted that Lola’s mother wasn’t Stan’s fault. Not that he was there.

“Stanley,” Ferg started, “you can’t only be looking after Lola because of some old sense of guilt. You’re looking after her cus you love her”

“She’s hard not to love. But you can’t deny it. She deserves better than me.”

Ferg gave Stan a steely glare. “If you really believed that, ya would’ve left her to the hospital.” 

He finished up the directions and handed them to Stan.

“Good luck with ya brother, Stan. Tell Lola I said hi when she wakes up, alright?”

And with that, they were back on the road. Stan stopped at a drive through, bought some greasy chicken, the kind Lola loved, and left some in the back for her to eat. They wouldn’t get to gravity falls until the evening, especially since it started snowing. Stan didn’t want to risk speeding on icy roads with Lola in the car.

His mind kept circling back to what Ferg had said. The question of why Stan had taken Lola from the hospital plagued him to this day. Was it guilt? He certainly didn’t think he’d make a good caretaker. If he had left her there, she probably would have been matched with a family that loved her. She would have friends and family, not just Stan. They could almost certainly give Lola a better life.

But somehow, Stan knew that, if he had the chance to do it over, he would’ve chosen to take Lola. She was the best thing in his life, and he loved watching her grow. It was selfish, really. He was keeping her from a better life with an actual family, because being around Lola made him less lonely. At least he knew that Lola would choose him too.

That just made Stan feel more guilty, like he had tricked this child into thinking he was someone worth trusting. He saw the way she looked at him, when he would tell her stories and hold her as she drifted to sleep. He knew she saw him as a Father. He couldn’t help but feel like, one day, she would realise just how bad of a caretaker he was. 

She wasn’t even his. He kidnapped her. Because he was selfish. For all he knew, her biological father would’ve given her a better life.

A thought hit Stan like a truck. Biological father. Lola said Ford talked about her “real”  dad. But that didn’t make sense. Stan hadn’t told anyone that Lola wasn’t biologically his. The only ones who knew were himself and Lola. Caryn certainly had no idea.

Actually, there was no reason for Ford to know about Lola at all. Caryn told Stan that she rarely talked to Ford, and when she did, he would cut it short. She had complained to Stanley for HOURS about it. So how the hell did Ford know? If he’d just figured Stan had a kid by her answering the phone like Caryn did, he wouldn’t have mentioned her “real” parents…

Discomfort settled in Stan’s stomach. There was something deeply wrong, he could feel it. As the pines lining the road got taller, and the snow felt thicker, Stan felt he was getting himself into something much, much scarier than he first thought.

It was dark when they got into Gravity Falls. Lola was blabbering away to Lizard, about ‘evil shapes’ and ‘secret codes’, probably from some cartoon. The radio played current hits, which just droned in his ears. His heart was racing as they approached Ford’s place. His hands ached from his tight grip on the steering wheel.

The house was oppressive. Covered in warning signs and barbed wire. It certainly wasn’t inviting. There were no lights on, just the barest flickers of candlelight through a stained glass window. It didn’t seem like the heating was on either, no smoke coming out from the chimney. Lola clung to his leg as they walked towards the front door.

“Stan, this is scary” Lola whispered.

“I know, kid.”

He knocked on the door. Silence. He knocked again, louder. Dread filled him. What if Ford had already-

The door burst open, and Stan was met with a crossbow pointed at his face. Lola screamed.

Ford looked demented, dishevelled, and covered in blood. He looked like he hadn’t slept in months, and his face was one of pure anger. Until, after a moment, he seemed to register who was at the door.

“Stanley?” Ford asked, dropping the crossbow. “What are you doing here?”

A dark look passed his face.

“Unless….”

Ford lifted the crossbow, pointing it at Stan again.

Every time someone interacts with me, I get so fucking exited, yet everytime I interact on this website (especially with moots) I will either make it anonymous or just not send it 😭

Like I want friends so ba why do I do this to myself 😭😭😭

all these dang beautiful men eating out of my .... lake.... wait?