Loneliness Is A Dangerous Thing

“I’ll only marry the man who can guess which is my favourite stone on the whole sea-shore.”

— Marina Tsvetaeva, from “Art in the Light of Conscience: Eight Essays on Poetry,”

It felt like we went up and up and up-

higher than I was comfortable with.

My legs started to burn with each step

Until the burn left, no room left for it

And they just slowed, peanut butter steps

And then stopped, too tired to keep time.

Turning around felt like defeat

But good.

On the way down they shook

Bambi knees in jell-o

And every step felt a little bit

like I was falling.

The path ribboned its way

A steady incline

A human paved path

And still my legs

New born, half-set,

Paced a drunk’s gait down

This hill with ideas of grandeur

I did not feel shame or guilt

In my gut

I felt accomplished and proud

Until we spoke later

And then I felt a little bit-

Like I wished I had fallen.

1:50pm 7/1/2021

weird asks that say a lot

in

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

7. earbuds or headphones?

8. movies or tv shows?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

12. name of your favorite playlist?

13. lanyard or key ring?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

18. ideal weather?

19. sleeping position?

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

21. obsession from childhood?

22. role model?

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

25. first song you remember hearing?

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

28. five songs to describe you?

29. best way to bond with you?

30. places that you find sacred?

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

32. top five favorite vines?

33. most used phrase in your phone?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

35. average time you fall asleep?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

38. lemonade or tea?

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

41. last person you texted?

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

44. favorite scent for soap?

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

47. favorite type of cheese?

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

51. current stresses?

52. favorite font?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

55. favorite fairy tale?

56. favorite tradition?

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

62. seven characters you relate to?

63. five songs that would play in your club?

64. favorite website from your childhood?

65. any permanent scars?

66. favorite flower(s)?

67. good luck charms?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

70. left or right handed?

71. least favorite pattern?

72. worst subject?

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

82. pc or console?

83. writing or drawing?

84. podcasts or talk radio?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

87. your greatest fear?

88. your greatest wish?

89. who would you put before everyone else?

90. luckiest mistake?

91. boxes or bags?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

93. nicknames?

94. favorite season?

95. favorite app on your phone?

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

98. favorite historical era?

ɴᴏᴍ ɴᴏᴍ 😋

The voices won't leave me alone,

Crawling out the shadows,

Like vines that have overgrown,

Blocking out the windows

To sanity, to reality

I'm not sure if I want them to leave me

Because atleast they stayed

Unlike the people with empty words and hollow promises

I feel like I'm digging my own grave.

Maybe I've always been desperate for some company even if it destroys me.

Message From an Atheist

We live in a world, where people are influenced by others of their kind through mere words, the power of speech, as they call it, has an effect far greater than most physical,aggressive actions, but "the feelings perceived are not necessarily the feelings expressed", which in most cases, leads to an exaggeration of facts and in our very case led to the birth of the mother of numerous social evils, that we, as a species, face today. We call this glorified form of tribalism, Religion.

It is astounding that years of people just talking about the existence of a higher power can convince their sons and grandsons of firm, unquestionable and rather unreasonable faith, when the same generation, for centuries, would not even believe that oppressing half of their population i.e. womankind, would not do harm, if not better.

Let me present you with a hypothesis, What if, a group of early men witnessed a bolt of lightning? What if, they started to believe that there were people in the sky that caused them and frightened as they were, felt the need to please these gods through sacrifices and offerings? What if all this offerings made them expect a divine reward? And what if all this misconception spread around like an infection, calling for discrimination towards those who refused to concur?

This hypothesis has several conclusions. Humanity fears that which it doesn't understand, it worships that which it fears and expects rewards for it's actions . As for the spreading, I believe that "Religion is just a chinese whisper game stretched for too long".

And the final conclusion is that people aren't very accurate when it comes to first impressions, often judging too soon about the nature of something, even if that something does not exist beyond their three pounds of grey matter.

"Religion is a fool's answer to another fool's question." People look for meaning in the physical world, they seek their place in all that comprises the cosmos without realising that the answer to their question is subjective, it doesn't have to be out there in religious texts, written by delusional old men, it exists in the mind, created by people themselves.

Now the question arises, why did the need for such a misleading lie of a system exist?, the answer is a simple one, hope, every man is a hero in his own story, and when this hero is spat on, knocked down, he can't help but give in to vulnerability, depression. This man and every other man needs this, beautiful lie, as a drowning man needs a rock to cling to while he catches his breath and there's nothing wrong with a system that gives him that, and I know that I'm no one to deprive them of that . But there's a whole another way to look at it, the man may never learn to swim if he doesn't let go of the rock that gives him a false sense of hope, that he will survive without battling the waves. Now I ask you to what end, are we going to allow this false sense of hope to take control over our actions? , the sooner humanity figures that out, the better, and if not, well then, "May God help us all".

-Pranjal Yadav

“The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.”

— Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

James Baldwin, If Beale Street Could Talk

02/27/2021

It feels warm inside.

Like a boiling well that makes you feel fuzzy;

Its water ascends so as to reach the furthest parts of the body.

Its heaviness is counteracted by how lightweight the body feels.

It reminds me of the aftereffects of getting drunk.

“I suggest that the only books that influence us are those for which we are ready, and which have gone a little farther down our particular path than we have yet got ourselves.”

—

E. M. Forster (1879-1970) English novelist, essayist, critic, librettist