Me: You’ve Already Used This Exact Turn Of Phrase Two Paragraphs Ago, That’s Too Repetitive

I wonder if, in superhero universes, the villains ever get contacted by those “Make a Wish Foundation” and similar people.

I mean, the heroes do, of course they do, kids who want to meet Spiderman or Superman or get to be carried by the Flash as he runs through Central City for just thirty seconds.

But surely there are also the kids, who - because they are kids and sometimes kids are just weird - decide that what they really, really want is to meet a supervillain. Because he’s scary or she’s awesome or that freeze ray is just really, really cool, you know?

Words to replace said, except this actually helps

I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.

IN RESPONSE TO Acknowledged Answered Protested

INPUT/JOIN CONVERSATION/ASK Added Implored Inquired Insisted Proposed Queried Questioned Recommended Testified

GUILTY/RELUCTANCE/SORRY Admitted Apologized Conceded Confessed Professed

FOR SOMEONE ELSE Advised Criticized Suggested

JUST CHECKING Affirmed Agreed Alleged Confirmed

LOUD Announced Chanted Crowed

LEWD/CUTE/SECRET SPY FEEL Appealed Disclosed Moaned

ANGRY FUCK OFF MATE WANNA FIGHT Argued Barked Challenged Cursed Fumed Growled Hissed Roared Swore

SMARTASS Articulated Asserted Assured Avowed Claimed Commanded Cross-examined Demanded Digressed Directed Foretold Instructed Interrupted Predicted Proclaimed Quoted Theorized

ASSHOLE Bellowed Boasted Bragged

NERVOUS TRAINWRECK Babbled Bawled Mumbled Sputtered Stammered Stuttered

SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER Bargained Divulged Disclosed Exhorted

FIRST OFF Began

LASTLY Concluded Concurred

WEAK PUSY Begged Blurted Complained Cried Faltered Fretted

HAPPY/LOL Cajoled Exclaimed Gushed Jested Joked Laughed

WEIRDLY HAPPY/EXCITED Extolled Jabbered Raved

BRUH, CHILL Cautioned Warned

ACTUALLY, YOU’RE WRONG Chided Contended Corrected Countered Debated Elaborated Objected Ranted Retorted

CHILL SAVAGE Commented Continued Observed Surmised

LISTEN BUDDY Enunciated Explained Elaborated Hinted Implied Lectured Reiterated Recited Reminded Stressed

BRUH I NEED U AND U NEED ME Confided Offered Urged

FINE Consented Decided

TOO EMO FULL OF EMOTIONS Croaked Lamented Pledged Sobbed Sympathized Wailed Whimpered

JUST SAYING Declared Decreed Mentioned Noted Pointed out Postulated Speculated Stated Told Vouched

WASN’T ME Denied Lied

EVIL SMARTASS Dictated Equivocated Ordered Reprimanded Threatened

BORED Droned Sighed

SHHHH IT’S QUIET TIME Echoed Mumbled Murmured Muttered Uttered Whispered

DRAMA QUEEN Exaggerated Panted Pleaded Prayed Preached

OH SHIT Gasped Marveled Screamed Screeched Shouted Shrieked Yelped Yelled

ANNOYED Grumbled Grunted Jeered Quipped Scolded Snapped Snarled Sneered

ANNOYING Nagged

I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WHATEVER Guessed Ventured

I’M DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM Hooted Howled Yowled

I WONDER Pondered Voiced Wondered

OH, YEAH, WHOOPS Recalled Recited Remembered

SURPRISE BITCH Revealed

IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DON’T WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD Scoffed Snickered Snorted

BITCHY Tattled Taunted Teased

i made a meme to express how i feel right now

fun fact: wound fucking isn't specific to niche fanfics on the internet! crash (1996) has a scene where a man fucks a gaping bloody cut in a woman's leg and the movie won a prize at cannes :)

You know, I of all people ought to know that, for every subject in the world, there is at least one person who's a goddam nerd about it. And yet, somehow the fact that someone knows the history of wound-fucking in pop culture off the top of their head is....

Shit, I don't know. There's a lot of world out there.

sorry that you have become the sex ed blog but uhhh no one ever told us about dental dams at school so idk anything yikes. if it's your first time and someone eats you out are they meant to use a dental dam?? they can't catch anything from you if you haven't done it before, right??

Yeah, but you can catch something from them, friend. Gonorrhea, herpes, and some other STIs can live in someone's mouth. And if they have a cut in their mouth, they can also transmit bloodborne diseases to you.

Also, you should get in the habit of using protection in all your sexual encounters right now as you start to become sexual active, friend. You don't get a special exemption when you first start out. When you begin having sex, you are accepting responsibility for your own sexual health and, to some extent, the health of your partners, present and future. If you aren't ready to take that seriously, you should not be having sex.

I'm not trying to browbeat you, friend, but I'm not going to let you off the hook either. I got into the business of giving out sex ed info when I was 17, in an adolescent psych ward, and I had to help a 14 year old girl through a pregnancy scare. She was planning to handle it by drinking a lot of orange juice to prevent herself from getting pregnant, and then overdosing on her medication to induce a miscarriage if that didn't work. She could very well have accidentally killed herself. Once you've watched a situation like that unfold, you lose the ability to take this shit lightly.

Don't you take this shit lightly, friend. Don't you dare.

I will never fully understand why things happen the way they do on this planet. Too many people hold their tongue here. Too many people hide their feelings. And at the end of the day, that does nothing but hurt someone. The men and women of Tamaran were always taught to live by their emotions. To trust their first reaction, as it is the most true. Cyborg argues that you need time to make the proper decision. I argue that time blurs the true intent.

To Earth standards, I may appear brash and rushed. I never hide what I think. Perhaps that is why Tamaran was a target for so many invasions. Our captors may have enjoyed seeing what pain they inflicted upon us. For our tears are never hidden either.

This garden is all I have left to remind me of Tamaran. The Hy'tt Blossoms. The Rutt Trees. One of Earth’s customs for the warriors 2called the samurai is to learn patience and understanding from your garden. I hope that is what this teaches me. It would be nice to understand the concept of patience. It would be nice to fit in a bit more with these new Teen Titans.

You know what I don’t get?  When fanfic authors apologize for long chapters.  It’s like?  You gave me bonus content, for free, and you’re sorry about it?  Bruh.  I have already named my firstborn after you.  Dude.

canon: they died

fanfic: fUCK YOU

Hogwarts House Sub-Types

Everyone who knows Harry Potter knows by now that, while a lot of stock is put into houses, there are more than four types of people and the four houses therefore lead to some oversimplification. I came up with these sub-types for one of the stories I’m writing, but thought I’d share them outside of it because I’ve never run into anything quite like this before.

Note: Within each house, you will have people who do not fit neatly into a sub-type listed here. Those people usually have a mixture of traits from different sub-types within their house, and are often the ones viewed as most stereotypical of their house. I call these “All-Rounders”.

Ravenclaw

Lost in Thought - Ravenclaws who often get pulled away with an idea. Sometimes, these runaway-thoughts lead to the exclusion of everything else around them, and can cause the Ravenclaw to forget what they were doing. These Ravenclaws are the most likely to be labeled as ‘dreamy’ or ‘eccentric’.

Experimental Method - Ravenclaws who enjoy putting things to the test, and refuse to accept something as true if it hasn’t been appropriately supported with evidence. When someone suggests an idea as truth (like this list), these Ravenclaws may wonder if the idea would stand up to scientific rigor.

Walking Library - Ravenclaws who love to read and learn from books. They tend to have a very good memory for what they’ve read, and will often share this knowledge without prompting. 

Experts - Ravenclaws who have a particular topic they are interested in, and are learning everything they can about that topic. Often, they have knowledge in one or two areas well beyond the expected level for their age and education but are perfectly average or even below average in every other subject.

Banned Books - Ravenclaws who believe no knowledge should be forbidden, or at least not to them. These Ravenclaws aren’t afraid to study dangerous or illegal topics, even if they should be. Not every Banned Books-type Ravenclaw will end up with the wrong crowds, but this is the type of Ravenclaw most likely to go there.

Hufflepuff

Social Justice Warriors - These Hufflepuffs recognize the unfairness in the world, but don’t accept it as natural and unchangeable. When these Hufflepuffs say something isn’t fair, it isn’t an empty complaint. They want change, and will usually put in the work or organize the group to make it happen.

BFF Defense Squad - These Hufflepuffs live out the words, “If you mess with my friends, then you mess with me.” They are extremely loyal and will go to corresponding lengths to defend and life up the people they love.

Soft Slytherin - These Hufflepuffs are so ambitious that others sometimes wonder why they weren’t sorted into Slytherin. Usually, the ruthlessness associated with Slytherin is traded out for Hufflepuff’s brand of hard work. These Hufflepuffs are less likely to take advantage of shortcuts on the way to their goals than someone sorted into the house of snakes.

“I can do anything, but not everything.” - These Hufflepuffs know that with enough hard work, any goal is achievable. They prioritize well, and will likely go far in the areas they choose to develop.

“I can do EVERYTHING.” These Hufflepuffs work just as hard as the second type, but fail to prioritize or focus their work. This often leads to having many unfinished projects, or burning out from overwork. 

Gryffindor

Hero(ine) - These Gryffindors will rush into a situation where someone needs help, regardless of the context. They cannot stand by while someone else is in danger or hurting. These Gryffindors have hearts of gold, but often end up hurt or in trouble because of this tendency.

Adrenaline Junkie - These Gryffindors love to take risks of any kind. They enjoy doing things that prove or display their bravery. Often this is in front of an audience, but it can also be proof to themselves. This category of Gryffindors is likely to produce athletes and performers because of this thrill-seeking behavior. 

Strong and Silent - These Gryffindors have a quieter type of bravery. They stand up for those who need it and do the right thing without drawing attention to themselves. Often, this means they are underappreciated or not seen as brave. 

Shaking Hands - These Gryffindors are the ones who struggle, but keep trying. They are afraid, but bravely push on. The right thing to do is not obvious to them when it seems to be to others, but they do their best every day. Shaking Hands Gryffindors are related to type three in that they aren’t recognized enough for their bravery.

Big Head Boy - These Gryffindors associate themselves with the Hero-types, the well-known Adrenaline Junkies, and the other desirable types of Gryffindors, but don’t do the same level of work to back this up. This can lead to them getting arrogant, becoming irritating to those around them, or even bullying.

Slytherin

Politician - These Slytherins love the power plays and complicated dynamics often associated with Slytherin House. Usually their goals for their adult life are political in nature, whether that means working in the government or behind the scenes. These Slytherins seek understand what is happening under the surface of every major interaction and read the subtext in everything.

Knowledge is Power. These Slytherins might be accused of secretly being a Ravenclaw. They love to learn, and will study a wide range of topics or look deeply into certain ones. What differs from a Ravenclaw, however, is that these Slytherins are driven to learn by the ways their knowledge can be put to use instead of for the sake of the learning itself.

Problem Solvers - These Slytherins will find the most expedient solution for any problem they are faced with. Often, they will find several effective, quick solutions. When giving a problem to these Slytherins to solve you should always give them all of the constraints you are working within, including moral ones. These Slytherins are not immoral but they often believe that the end justifies the means, so they need to know how far you are willing to go. Regardless of the constraints you give them, these Slytherins will find you an answer.

Behind the Scenes - These Slytherins embody the cunning and sneaky portions of their House’s reputation. Often, you won’t see the work they do or know how active they are. These Slytherins may control the gossip mill in their environment, or be the brains behind a political-type Slytherin. Unless you ask them, and they bring you into their confidence, you’ll never know.

Ruthless Slytherins - These Slytherins will do anything to get what they want. They are related to problem solvers, but don’t bring your problems to them unless you’ve accepted that the solutions they give will benefit them at least as much as they benefit you. This is the type of Slytherin most likely to cause or get into trouble, and then find a way out of it again that leaves them looking squeaky clean.

So, there you have it. There aren’t four types of people - there are twenty-one.