An Old And Homely Grandmother Accidentally Summons A Demon. She Mistakes Him For Her Gothic-phase Teenage

5 HCs AU: When Sita tries to call upon Bhumi Devi to swallow her up, nothing happens.

1. It is–not quite nothing, a rumble from the earth whispering Not yet, my daughter; but it is not the rest that Sita has wanted for so long. 

Around her, courtiers and commoners whisper alike of Maithali’s failure with as much surprise as satisfaction: now, at least, they can silence the lingering guilt at their part in their queen’s exile. Certainly she was to blame all along, and their King’s decision above reproach. 

Sita does not speak again, but turns to leave, head held high.

2. She goes back to her cottage in Valmiki’s hermitage, the only place–other than an abandoned hut in Panchavati–that feels like home. 

Some, Sita knows, might urge her on to giving up her life: but fire had let her pass unscathed, the son of wind spoken in her favor, and earth her mother forsaken her. Why ought she to imagine the waters might be any different?

In the back of her mind, faint but fixed, is the throb of anger; her husband’s wrath might threaten to destroy the world, but Sita’s is a thousand times more destructive. Lanka learned that lesson all too well; Sita closes her eyes and prays for peace. 

3. Kush might be the elder, but Luv the bolder, and Luv the one who asks her at last one night.

“Would you have left us?”

A mother’s instinct almost brings No, of course not to her lips; but Janaka’s daughter does not lie, no more than she hides from hard truths. 

“Yes,” she says. 

“With a father we scarcely know?”

“Your teacher’s stories–”

Luv scowls. “Are just that.” His mouth curls up, just as it did when he was five years old and refusing to eat his dinner. “You would have left us.”

Sita sighs, and holds out her arms to him. “And I never will again.”

4. “You might have been princes,” she reminds Kush, who should have been heir to Ayodhya. “You might have taken your rightful places.”

He only snorts. “And rule the same louts who scorned our mother? Never.”

She does not dare admit that she is proud of him, but her smile betrays her nonetheless.

5. Sita is tending to her garden when she hears footsteps approaching, coaxing weeds to take life elsewhere; she looks up to find her husband peering down at her, clearly awkward and somehow not yet out of place. His clothes are stark; his head is bare, devoid of the crown. She wonders if Bharata was convinced to take it at last, or if Lakshmana obliged instead.

(She knows too, enough of the ways of ruling to know that a king does not simply wake one morning and renounce his throne. He must have been planning this, moving the pieces into the motion, since the day she and the boys had departed Ayodhya forever.)

“Forgive me,” he says, and Sita, who had half-feared she would never be able to do so, feels her rage ebb at last. 

Beneath her bare feet, the earth hums her contentment. 

Pride and Prejudice: relatable moments 

Why are you determined to make me reread Pride and Prejudice for the umpteen-zillionth time?

Did someone say reread Pride and Prejudice for the umpteen-zillionth time?!

We all know Crowley doesn’t actually shred the plants, right? Like he takes them into the other room and makes Big Scary Noises, sure, to scare the remaining plants. But you just know that he actually takes the bad plants and sets them Outside, pats them on the head, and says “You rebelled. You are now Fallen. Congratulations” and sometimes he decorates them with old pairs of sunglasses and tiny leather jackets intended for French bulldogs. Like I’m sorry but if you don’t think those plants are 100% a form of projection and coping about his issues with Heaven then you haven’t met Anthony Janthony Crowley

The new-TV-GoodOmens fanon tendency to take Aziraphale’s very-soft presentation as unadorned truth is be/amusing to me. 

He was the angel left to guard one of the Gates to Eden and he did in fact have a flaming sword. He is also the one who WOULD have shot Adam, had Madame Tracy not intervened. 

He is also the angel who’s response to “wait I need to get back to Earth to stop Armageddon” is to do something that clearly SCARED THE SHIT out of the other angels who watched him do it, with a malicious-glee-glint in his eye, who hopped disembodied down to earth, and then floated around to try to find the right place. 

He also, well. Fucked around with Heaven at all. There’s such a thread of comic corporate-absurd involved that it can be easy to miss, but what we’re shown is that the hierarchy of Heaven is just as happy as that of Hell to murder, torture, restrain, make captive and otherwise punish its own in the most horrible ways possible and in fact they’re far more effective at it. They just have a lot of Rules they follow, whereas Hell acts on a whim. 

And there’s Aziraphale running around lying to them and pulling the wool over their eyes and so on. Something which, very clearly, none of those other angels are interested in doing. 

Fundamentally Aziraphale is a stone cold agent of divine wroth. 

He just doesn’t want to be. 

He doesn’t like being like that. He doesn’t like suffering, his own or other people’s. All those times Crowley saves him, it’s important to keep in mind that Aziraphale’s in no more fundamental danger than he is when he loses his corporal form in the bookshop fire: if Crowley hadn’t shown up to save him in the church, for example, all that would have happened is that either a) he would have been discorporated and had to wait in line for a new body (or risk being reassigned) or b) Aziraphale would have had to do something Nasty to the Nazis there in order to save himself that trouble. 

He doesn’t like either of those options! Those are both crappy options. But they’re not existential threats. 

I’m the nice one he snaps when Crowley’s too busy having his Moment over his Bentley to take care of dealing with the soldier. 

Aziraphale doesn’t like having to be cruel, or mean, or scary, or stone cold. He doesn’t enjoy it and given the choice he will in fact choose not to be. 

What Crowley saves him from, over and over again, isn’t actually being killed. 

Because what interests Crowley in him, and we see that, all the way back, is that very first instance of Aziraphale choosing not to be that person. That first time when what Aziraphale was supposed to be was Stern and Frightening and Judgemental and Harsh and Terrifying … . and instead he chose to court potential punishment (and actual existential threat) to give the people he was supposed to Terrify a way to protect themselves from all the scary things. 

Aziraphale doesn’t want to be an instrument of judgement and wrath and what Crowley keeps saving him from is having to be. Crowley condemns the bloodthirsty executioner, so that Aziraphale doesn’t have to; blows up the Nazis so Aziraphale doesn’t have to. 

Lets Aziraphale be the nice one, in fact. 

Which I think is frankly far more fucking adorable. 

But never let it make you think that Aziraphale is the safe one, or the helpless one. 

He’s the one who, when faced with the apparent choice between killing a child and the end of the world, chooses to kill the child. Actually chooses to do it - not just plan, not just talk about, not just contemplate, but do it - and is only saved from having done it by sharing the body of someone who won’t let him. 

Aziraphale is soft and slightly silly and gentle and non-confrontational and all of those things because that’s what he wants to be. He has fought for a long time to get to be that. 

This is important. 

Baby armadillo.

Reasons to ship Midge X Lenny from the Marvellous Mrs Maisel

The show is very feminist and relevant, despite being set in a time period that was awash with sexism and misogyny. Lenny is a great example of that, being the first male character to see Midge as more than a housewife or mother, and he never once doubts her skills as a female comedian.

. He is (or at least tries to be) a gentleman, giving up his taxi so Midge gets home safe, pays for her and Benjamin’s table on their date, and gives Midge his coat to wear on a cold night when he bails her out of jail and she loses hers.

. They have an irresistible chemistry between them - witty banter, some lingering looks - but what’s more than that is they’re more alike than they know. They’re both controversial, outspoken comedians who don’t give a hoot in hell about not being allowed to say “obscene” things on stage, but you get the feeling they both feel quite lonely and tired sometimes, which is why I love the scene in the bar so much.

It’s the first time we see Lenny vulnerable, shockingly different from the charming, slick character we’re used to. And the fact that they find each other right when they’re both feeling tired and disheartened and like giving up and they’re able to confide in each other says a lot about their relationship. Watching this scene from an outsider’s viewpoint you’d think these people have been friends for years, but in the show they’ve only known each other just under a year and even then rarely see each other, but they’ve got this connection that’s so intimate and interesting to watch. They’re both clearly attracted to each other but never either a) act on it or b) have actually realised it yet, but there’s some casual flirting that just warms my shipper heart🥰:

1. Lenny: “I heard some cute uptown chick got arrested doing a set, I put two and two together.”

Midge: “Called me cute, huh?”

2. Lenny: “Wait, was I supposed to make a pass at you?” (My personal favourite 🥰)

3. Lenny: “Does he know?”

Midge: “Know what?”

Lenny: “That you’ve been corrupted. Lured to the dark side of the microphone…”

Midge: “One. Date.”

Aagh, their chemistry!😍And those lingering looks and smiles and the way they literally light up around each other you can’t help but get drawn in - also literally everyone on the show thinks they’re slept together or are sleeping together 😅😉 Even while Midge is on her date with Benjamin, we get that delightful scene with Lenny and she absolutely glows, because, in my opinion, they just bring out the best in each other and it really shows on the screen.

I’ll ship it die I die!😍😍 *Jumps into the fandom trashcan*

Your Mahabharata is a story of revenge, after all. The Pandava’s revenge.

If you need me

I’ll be locked in my room reading Letterboxd reviews of the Netflix original movie “The Knight Before Christmas”.

I mean... these are literally just the ones that show up at the top

They’re all like this

It’s just one giant roast

And endless shit posting