PFFT

it’s the year 2080. the expressions “the horse has left the hospital” and “between a crematorium and a dildo store” have fully entered the lexicon even though barely anyone remembers where they originated. one day the kids who live in the Amazon Temperate Habitat Bubble next door ask me what was between the proverbial crematorium and dildo store in the first place. i rip off my Amazoxygen® Ventilator and gasp, “the fucking horse” and immediately die from the polluted air in my probably-covid-ravaged lungs. haunted by these cryptic last words, the kids bury themselves in the ancient runes of the Internet Archive until they find the meme that unlocks it all. the horse was one of the last presidents of the late american empire, a lynchpin in the slow disintegration of the union. suddenly, a drone flies directly through the window. “forbidden word detected: ‘union’,” it says, gearing up its Amazon Brainbuster Electric Reinforcement System. they run

primadonna worm.... yeah... all i ever wanted was the dirt

the LAPD is having a town hall and getting fucking eviscerated

2024 is a terrible year to be a henchman. The word "minion" is barely usable and you can't even say "goon" anymore.

God I fucking hate Olaf the snowman so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every frame he's in, every scene, every gif, every jpeg, he's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass look on his stupid lumpy face. Absolutely no part of his ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. His stupid fucking legs? Who the hell makes a snowman with legs. His dumb flaily fucking twig arms? His shitty, lumpy bastard head? The three thousand percent unnecessary dumbass shitass fucking SNOW BUCK TOOTH that no snowman has EVER FUCKING HAD IN tHE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, I hate him. I hate him so much. So FUCKING much. Every time I see a stuffed toy Olaf or an Olaf gif or a shitty goddamn commercial, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun. "Bhurr blur, I'm Olaf the fuckshit snow fucker, I like warm hugs". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like Tow Mater summoned a patronus. Your dumb fucking twig hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. I hate your dumb fucking lumpy carrot nose and your stupid, empty googly eyes and your over-the-top goofy ass upbeat asshole personality. Any scene he's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a w*lmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That's the worst part. I know he's just a shitty fucking side character in a stupid fucking children's movie, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate him. I hate him on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. Shitstick the snow dick is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper middle class suburban drama distilled into a single, hateable form. The fucking. Fuck. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate him so much. I hate him so, so fucking much. I want to light his ugly little dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat him to death with his own stupid fucking nose. I want to punch him to death. You know that weird feeling you get, when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that his existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this fictional snowman

i love the phrase “no war but class war” both bc it’s right and bc it rlly describes how you become a socialist

A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesn’t die.

to my friends in red states, please stay safe and watch out for each other. stay inside and avoid going out if you don’t need to. not to stir up fear in the wake of victory, but there are numerous watchdog organizations warning people — especially black and trans folks — to expect a sharp uptick in violence and tension. the naacp has issued a warning to black people in missouri to STAY INSIDE, STAY TOGETHER, STAY SAFE. check on your friends. stay informed. if you aren’t following them already, check out the naacp website and watchdog organizations to keep an eye on things in your area.

to white folks, this is a time for you to celebrate as well, but things are far from over. reach out to your poc and trans friends, particularly your black and trans friends, and check on them and make sure they feel safe. DO NOT STOP DONATING TO PAYPALS AND GOFUNDMES. CONTINUE SHARING RESOURCES AND INFORMATION. CONTINUE PARTICIPATING IN COMMUNITY AID. electing biden did not simultaneously wipe out the issues many marginalized communities are facing. YOUR PART IN THIS IS NOT OVER BECAUSE THIS FIGHT IS NOT OVER. continue spreading

to succinctly sum up the energy we need to cultivate going forward:

you can reblog this. white people can and should reblog this. likes do nothing for us.

Here’s the new 24 hour comic I drew this year!  This one is called THE KING’S FOREST.  cw: blood, violence

mimi u have done so much for this community. literally inventing samiles. ure braver than any us marine.

pour one out for champions getting canceled