Nikolai: *Meeting Sigma For The First Time* Has Fyodor Taught You About Stranger Danger Or Sexual Harassment

Fukuzawa: *holding Ranpo* This is Ranpo. He is intelligent for his age. He doesn’t get along with others but I love him dearly.

Mori: *holding Chuuya* This is Chuuya. He is more behaved than Dazai. I lost Dazai. I don’t know where he went. I think he set a house on fire.

Cloud: oh no he’s hot!

 O N E   W I N G E D   A N G E L

Touchstarved LIs, on a scale of how much they fuck with you

Mhin: Not ever attempting to fuck with you, and expects the same treatment in return. That stick up their ass is shoved pretty far in, so you're going to need to get pretty close to them before you can start playing around and making jokes. Attempts to fuck with them will likely be met with deadpan stares, unimpressed frowns, disappointed mouth-noises, and/or insults.

Kuras: Not above fucking with you, but always in good humor, and will immediately tell you afterwards when he's joking. A classic "lol jk jk" girlie. I feel like Ais has probably had a bit of a bad influence on him, as he was less likely to fuck with people in the past for no reason (LESS likely, not UNlikely). But he likes to see how people react!

Ais: Loves fucking with you, but mostly in good humor. He will definitely let you walk around thinking something is true and then when you say it he'll be like, "That's not true. Who told you that?" like it wasn't him. The type of person whose kids will believe that Santa is real until like high school because he loves keeping up a bit. Will this put you in danger at some point? It's likely, but that's not necessarily his intention. Will you have a lot of inside jokes? Absolutely.

Vere: Needs to fuck with you to keep things interesting so he's going to do it all the time, often to your detriment. Light gaslighting, but nothing you can't see through with a little squinting. Part of the reason Vere has to mess with people is also because he refuses to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known. His legitimate desire and enjoyment combined with his crippling disquiet over true intimacy combine into his specialty "you're not safe around me" cocktail.

Leander: Outwardly at Kuras-levels of fucking with you, but never judge a book by its cover. This guy is literally turning down the lights in your room right now and when you ask him about it he's going to say, "I don't think anything looks any different, lovely." -- that's how much of a bonafide gaslighter he is. He's like... a nice gaslighter, though. His purpose is not to make you feel like shit. He wants you to like him and trust him, while also driving you away from other people, and making you second-guess your decisions and your reality.

Nikolai: Uh oh look who got caught under the mistletoe.

Sigma: IS THIS WHY YOU CORNERED ME?!

Ignis: *walks into a room* I’m back with the ingredients I’ll start din-

Gladio: *holding Prompto down*

Noct: *attempting to put a bra on Prompto*

Ignis: *drops the bag, throwing his hands up* YOU KNOW WHAT I DON’T WANT TO KNOW

Gladio: gonna ask where we got the bra?

Ignis: I give up with you three!

Don't try it. I make traps that kill people for a living

Have any of the others like Regis, Gladio, or Ignis thought of sedating him? (I.e. Sleeper hold, a tranquilizer, or a straitjacket like Hannibal Lector style)

Gladiolus: *covers face with hands and groans*

Clarus: *scowls* You fool! You think we haven’t?!

Gladiolus: I lost count of how many times I shot him with a tranquilizer or used the sleeper hold on him. I know for a fact that he purposely pushed me to doing it so he could call me ‘the sandman’.

Clarus: Therapy is completely useless since he’s able to brainwash the weak-minded fools!

Gladiolus: Straitjackets? He knows how to escape them and has a collection. And Iggy? Regis practically made him royalty with how much power he has.

Clarus: And all to keep that son of his from destroying the city! It’s a miracle young Scientia is not a mad man like Noctis.

Gladiolus: If you have any suggestions, we’re willing to hear a few.

Clarus: I’ll give you my wealth and soul if you can stop that boy.

Noctis: *shows up* Yo, Clarinet. I sensed you were talking about me so I came over.

Gladiolus: speak of the devil.

Noctis: I’m human.

Clarus: *hisses* Lies! *points to the door* AND GET OUT.

I thought Sigma was making that face because he got sick from the rides. But the haunted house scenes he’s asleep on one of the props. Poor thing is sleepy.

Today's Sigma is: taking a picture with his friend!

Gladio: I swear to Astrals! If you touch my cup noodles again I will shave your ass!

Iris: *comes down the stairs* brother what are you-

*cat sitting on the coffee table keeping eye contact with Gladio with its paw half way in the cup noodles*

Gladio: *has his sword out ready to start swinging*

Think Vere yelled “fuck you” at Ais and Ais was like “come here then”?

Vergil : Aren’t you sugar and spice and everything nice.

Y/n : Well, aren’t you rudeness and sarcasm and everything… uh…

Vergil : No, go on. You find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense, and I’ll take the fall tonight.